If you could be nuerotypical...

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I so agree with this, I'm who I am, I don't really see the benefits of being someone other than me really because if I was, would I be really satisfied by it? I am the only one that can make me who I am or change myself in many ways (I wouldn't chnage the AS).

I don't want to be anyone but myself - I can't imagine anything else.

Granted, there's still a lot of stuff I want working on and that I would appreciate help with, but there's lots of good bits about my differently wired brain, too!

Also, lots of the kinds of problems NTs have, and some more higher-functioning (socially, emotionally) Aspies seem to have, sound rather complicated - before I was diagnosed, I tried forever to make sense of my problems and difficulties using things that normally work on NTs (self-help stuff, psychological and touchy-feely stuff, abstract methods etc.) and apart from it not working, it also confused the heck outta me.

Everyone has problems of some sort or other, and at least mine are something I can work with - there's no Irlen lenses or picture software that helps NTs with their complex social problems (like having affairs, gossip etc.) after all!

It would be a hard decision for me, because I would like to be normal. However, when I got upset earlier last week, my intention was to say that yes, I do think Asperger's Syndrome is a gift.

I'm going for controversy - I'd love to be NT.... Whatever the pros and cons, virtually every NT I've ever come across has been a damn sight happier with their lot than I've ever been - that alone is enough of an argument for "normality" for me.

I would be NT if I could keep all the positive traits of my AS.

stevie_hardy, most people (even NTs) are unhappy. They are just better at acting like they aren't.

NT. Absolutely.

I would still want to be me AS and all. The only thing I would like to change about myself is my low self-esteem- there are times when I truely hate myself. I have noticed a pattern to this recently and I find that the times when I feel worst about myself are when I haven't had anytime to myself all day (and also when the PMDD kicks in). When I do feel good enough about myself to ignore the little voices in my head telling me how worthless I am (not literal voices obviously lol) I actually like myself.

My skills?- that's a tough one. I am good at thinking up unusual ways round problems. I am great at cooking (don't often follow recipes but stuff usually turns out nice). I am very open with people- although this can be a curse as well as a blessing.

I don't think that being NT automatically equals happiness. The world can be touch for everyone, its just that the sides we see of people are usually their 'public' ones so we don't necessarily know about all the crap they have to deal with.

Well, I don't know if I am NT or AS or what, but I don't think I would change who I am. I would prefer to be more at ease with social situations, and not have sensory problems that keep me from being comfortable or being able to do things. I fluctuate between having very high self-esteem to having extremely low self-esteem, and, like Melvis said, I would also like to have better self-esteem (a regular, happy medium would be nice).

I guess what I'm trying to say is, I would stay the way I am, but continue to work towards improving myself.

My positive aspects: I am told I'm insightful and intelligent. I'm also pretty good at art, but by no means "gifted" or a savant of any kind. I can consider things without my emotions getting in the way most of the time.

My negative aspects: I am oblivious to a lot of what goes on around me. I'm nervous and unsure or just plain confused in social situations. I have very low tolerance for noise levels and certain odors. I easily succumb to stress and overload. When I am emotional, I can not control or understand it.

I am Nt but would like some of the talents and abilities of aspies, such as being able to remember details.

I'm just so conscious of all the things: basic, everyday, taken-for-granted, fundamental human type things, that are denied me because of AS, but which NTs get as a matter of course - whatever you might go through as an NT, I can't envision how on earth it could be worse than this - I can only see how it would be so much better......

I'm sorry, I just can't help but see the negative on this one.....

Last edited by TAFKASH on 23 Jan 2005, 8:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Considering how much more successful NTs with my interests are compared to me, if I could be NT I'd do it.

You write above average. If I remember right, you're very pretty, (models are too skinny anyway!) Creativity is a great gift. You're still young. You still have many years to find your niche, and when you do, I suspect you'll excell at it. Thomas Edison was sent home from school with a note to the effect of "this boy will never learn anything".

As far as the question posed by this thread, I'll pick the evil I know rather than the unknown evil. Yes, I had a hell of a time in my teens and early 20's. Yes I'm (mostly) miserable. But if I could go back and change anything in my life, I wouldn't out of fear that it would lead me down a different path and I'd never get to meet my fantastically different son.

He's got AS but he's way ahead of the game. First, people know what AS is. Second, we're trying a therapy with him to help with the areas he needs help with, (interpersonal relationships).

If I was "NT" I may never have gone down some of the strange, scary, and facinating roads I traveled.

Hale Bopp, I suggest you get a copy of Dr Seuss's "Oh the Places You'll Go". It may be by Dr Seuss, but it's written for adults who are feeling lost and hopeless. Goofy, but somehow comforting.

The things I would change about myself would be

- An ability to interact properly with more than one other person
- NT style social comprehension
- Some wit so I can make humorous comments

I wish I could reclaim the first 24 years of my life. Up until last june I was kind of living in a shadow of myself since I could never quite understand my place in the world, and why I thought I was being singled out for "special punishment".

For the most part, I like being myself. But if I could be "cured", I would like to be "more NT" in these areas:

1. I would like to be able to interact with people easier, more intuitively. With effort I have managed to make casual interactions work OK (such as in the store, apartment office, with the dentist, etc.), but anything deeper still causes me trouble and requires a lot of analyzing and preparations. Despite that my attempts to make friends were largerly unsuccessful, and I didn't have any close friends for first 32 years of my life (I wasn't even aware that close friendships were at all possible). I am trying to engage in deeper social interactions now, but I find them overwhelming and very time-consuming. It is a mystery to me how people are able to have friends and still do other things, for example work at their jobs.

2. I would like to live more in the real world and less in my internal "dreamworld". Don't get me wrong, daydreaming is very pleasant, but it just robs me of too much time that I could spend more productively. It takes effort to get out of the dreamworld, and sometimes I just lack strength. I often want to do something else, but find myself stuck in the "prison of dreams". As a result I spend many hours in "my own world", doing nothing but stimming in weird-looking ways.

3. I wish that I were more "compatible" with other people. Sometimes I feel like I really am from a different planet. I don't understand why people get offended, become excited watching sports, enjoy possessing material goods and make them objects of envy, become attracted and fall in love, etc. etc. I feel like I am living among "black boxes" that are impossible to comprehend and predict.

4. I don't have any debilitating sensory issues, but I would like to be able to go to the movies without subsequently having to cope with a headache. Although this is not AS-related, I will mention that I would like to be cured of the static noise that I see and hear all the time, and that often is quite distracting and unnerving.

It can be hard to juggle things like relationships and work, especially if you also need to take a lot of time out to be by yourself. If you spend less time in your "dream world," then maybe you will have more time to spend with others. It is just a question of priorities, really.

I feel badly sometimes, because I can't always go out with my friends. I need a lot of alone time, especially when I am not feeling too well emotionally or physically. I also isolate myself a lot when I have a lot of work to do. Just try to remind yourself that you can take atleast a few minutes out of your time to talk to someone, and they will probably appreciate that. Repeated contact, especially prolonged contact, is what creates bonds between people. Try not to push them away, and if you need to be alone, just explain that to them so they don't think that you dislike them or are trying to avoid them.

Civet, thanks for your advice. I think that maybe I was not entirely clear in my post. I wrote it in a moment of honesty, but now I think that it was probably too weird to write.

The problem is that the more I interact with people, the more I need the "dreaming". This unfortunately puts a limit on the amount of socializing that I can do; a rather low limit, I have to admit. This "dream world" is a place where I prepare, analyze, rest and recharge. It seems to be the default place of residence for my mind; I need to drag it by force from there.


Civet, where can I find these people who would like to go out with me?