Guys, you need to stop blaming your aspergers

Post Reply New Topic

"We" is the people I know on WP and social skills problems is how I define AS.

Again I'm not sure why you keep mentioning tests or jobs.

An the words "directly happen" or "indirectly happen" may make a scientist get
excited and stay up ponder the notions all night but in the real world it makes
no difference. The social skill impairment is real. The problem is well defined. We
need solutions.

Cool I see in an old post of yours HugoBlack that you have seen the same
psychologist for 8 years. Thats great you feel so good about your future. Though
AS is not a disorder so hopefully you did not spend too much money on that.

Last edited by TheMachine1 on 11 Aug 2006, 8:35 pm, edited 2 times in total.

i noticed it that ppl on here seem to blame AS fr everything thats gone wrong in their life. having only been dignosed at 21 and not knowing about AS till i was about 19 i had no awereness of it before then. allthought i have found ta just about everything in my life is been affected by AS im not gonna let the as rule.
but on that note i no longer try to conform with society as far as my outdoor dress is concerned. i wear hat i want. if people want to look at me thats uop to them. but i like wearing my american flag/ stars and stripes clothing outside from head to toe. which i like to do so i will. i couldent care less if im not 'in the fashion' or in the wrong country to be wearing american flags and clothing of stars and stripes. i feel that america is a big part in my life so i will wear my flags and listen to the star spangled banner over and over on repeat on my computer and mp3 players. cos im obsessed with them, i admit it. lol

I will aim my advice at younger people (since that is where my own experience is): Get into an area that is a good fit, and offers many job opportunities. Good fit means it is not overtly social, and that the work is more objective and black and white rather than subjective. Good opportunities means that there are a lot of jobs and not as much competition for those jobs. This mainly is aimed as AS people who want to work in some computer specialty. The opportunities are poor in computers and engineering.

If you can get into a good area, that is a good fit, and with good opportunities so that you can actually find and keep a job, your self esteem will improve greatly, and so will your people skills.

sometimes when you have aspergers, the big problem is because of it you dont knwo you have it and therefore you cannot see how it does affect you.
its not a cop out, you point is valid and a lot of people use it as an excuse, but when i have it soemtimes i dont know why i do the things i do. i just do them and blame it on aspergers later usually.
because at the time i just cant see what i done.

Well if your narrowing your theory down to AS people should focus on jobs that are
suitable to there personality type and that are in demand ,nobody will disagree
with that.

A large amount of the trouble people with AS run into arrives from their poor career decisions. One of the biggest causes of those poor decisions is trying to do something related to your narrow interest.

Just because you want to be mindlessly optimistic, and unrealistic HugoBlack. Doesn't mean you should waste space on the forums with your assumptions that other people can just magically defy their Aspieness. On another subject though, you'd probaly make a great Special Ed Teacher. (sarcasm)

But what about the person who, when given extra time, DOES do better on the test? What about the person, who, given privacy and space, and is not forced to "work in teams," DOES perform better at work? What about the person who, understanding their limitations, is able to view their life more accurately and design detours and coping mechanisms that DO produce results? What about the person who is able to have peace of mind for the first time in their life because they no longer force themselves into situations that cause visceral pain (crowds, socializing, etc.)? Is that "blaming" AS?

Well said.

As many people here have made clear, the issue is not black and white. Treating it as such will do a disservice to many Aspies who really do benefit and 'gain extra points', so to speak, by acknowledging their condition.

I will look at the things I can say "Oh, that was being Aspie" and say "If 60 years of working on it hasn't fixed it by now, forget it." But I also take responsibility for the need to function as best I possibly can in this world. That meant finding work I could do in a field I was good at, and changing plans when it became clear (frex) that no CPA firm was ever going to hire me but the University would.

You keep reading stories in places like Reader's Digest of people who don't let a bum leg get in their way. They don't run marathons but they don't pull the "Oh, I'm crippled, I'm only a crip" thing. Or dyslexia. Or ... the list goes on and on.

It's a balancing act but you have to keep trying. Decide what doesn't work, what will work, what you can work around, and what you have to make work somehow even if it means doing things the hard way.

And forget a lot of the garbage teachers and therapists and parents and others have fed you. One thing we're good at is reasoning. It it doesn't seem to make sense - perhaps it is nonsense.

Another Grey Badger rant

Why do you keep bringing up the fact that computers are a bad field??? Alot of people who graduated from my school in the IT field got decent jobs.Clearly you are over opinionated and don't know waht you;re talking about.

I feel like I'm a Londoner in a strange Land. I was born in Canada. Do I blame it on my Asperger's? Nope!

I congratulate my Asperger's for giving me my latest and greatest Obsession.



Nobody in their Right Mind would try to take that away from me.

I like your pictures drummer girl!
This is just my experience: My life was slowly going down the drain before I knew about my HFA. After I knew, my life went a little further down the drain. But now I am thinking of ways to better myself and to turn my HFA into an asset, not a hindrance.
I refuse to accept that I can't learn more about getting along with others and improve myself this way. I have met others with autism that have settled into the limited expectations that others have for them. It is annoying to me because I know those people are capable of a lot more if they push themselves.

Is it just me or is HugoBlack sounding a lot like a NT, seems to take offence to not being as capable as he(conformity).
But he does make some good points.


Think of your problems as relating to AS not caused by it. If there is nothing to blame than there is no excuse not to improve.

this is a really good point, maybe the ones who blame aspergers for all the bad things have given up?
someone else said be in contro, of your life an dnot let AS be in control of you.
this is all such good posts on a thread.

i think being aware and accepting aspergers is a big step...not blaming it, but modifying your behaviour , and coming out to others allows us some better control over a previously uncontrollable and clofusing life.

i know after 34 years, i feel as if i have woken up from a coma by accepting and figuring out my aspie weaknesses and my aspie strengths.

What do you call this site and the others like it, if not a community of people with AS?