Why do we have different meltdowns?

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Out of interest, how long do people's shutdowns and meltdowns last?

I'm never sure with meltdowns, whether to call mine outbursts, panic attacks, or nervous breakdowns. They sound a lot like nervous breakdowns, since I break down into crying so much that I can barely breathe, and it's usually triggered from an anxiety attack. I think if I didn't have a high anxiety disorder on top of my AS, I wouldn't have these ''meltdowns'' so much.

Also meltdowns are caused by jealousy. When I think too deeply of the fact that I'm born Aspie and nobody else in my family is (not even any other disability), it causes me to get all upset, so I try not to think about it.

Also, NTs make me angry, the way comformism goes. It makes me so irrational and angry. I mean, walking out in the street is just a way of getting from A to B, but NTs make it so walking out means you have to compete with eachother all the time, regardless of your background circumstances. It also really pisses me off when Aspies get blamed for not emathising or sympathising with others properly, but it's OK for NTs not to empathise and sympathise properly. With Aspies, it is considered a fault. But NTs are just as bad, because they glare at you if you're not looking nice or anything like that. I've had a virus this week, and today I had to go out because I had to go to the doctors. I had to. But I went out looking pale and was walking slow, and had my mouth open because I couldn't breathe through my blocked nose, and my eyes were swollen. If NTs know how others are feeling, then I wouldn't have got awful looks from people today. Instead they would have just thought, ''she looks unwell. She can't help that.'' But no! Ohh it makes me angry! So sometimes these cause meltdowns, but without the crying. I just get angry, then manically start abusing people and the way life has to be, and these meltdowns are caused by confusion. These meltdowns are manic.

I guess people like the idea of sympathy and empathy more than the actual mental effort that it takes to use it.

My meltdowns are extremely interesting. I have the "violent" meltdowns, however, I am mostly violent towards myself, sometimes objects, and in extreme cases, other people. Usually, if I start to have a minor meltdown and other people leave me only and don' say things like "it's just a little thing, calm down" or "stop!", the meltdown will NOT get bigger. It's only when people provoke me during meltdowns that they become major.

My meltdowns happen because I feel anxious or threatened. Like, there is this girl at my school, and even SEEING her makes me anxious. OK, that sounded weird, but she is not very nice at all, and I am always worried about her doing things to me. She is the kind of the person that will push you over the edge, she will keep trying to upset you, until you get upset. This is really thing that will cause a major meltdown alone. Sometimes, people making rude comments, making rude faces or staring can cause meltdowns on there on. People ordering me around is a trigger as well. I really don't like it when people say things like "Well, sorry, that is the only way to it!"

I've never had the crying kind or a shutdown.

I use to have meltdowns once a year or less, but lately, since last year it's becoming very frequent. And public, that is the worst. I have the violent ones, and bang my head on the wall, kick things, break things around. I fear to hurt someone next time, I can't help myself. I really don't known if I have AS, and medication is not helping me. I wish I could just cry but I never cry.

The crying kind of meltdown may be embarrassing, but actually it's better than the aggressive/angry kind.
The reason I say this is because when you cry, people immediately feel mostly sympathy for the person crying.
Whereas if you are screaming and destroying things, people feel angry towards you.

When in a meltdown, other people yelling and punishing you isn't at all helpful. As I think we can all agree.
So while crying in helplessness may be embarrassing, at least 8 times out of 10 it doesn't provoke an angry response from the people around you.

My son has crying meltdowns. 8 times out of 10 it gets a gentler response.