Views of NTs from an Aspie

Post Reply New Topic

I would say that social interactions, and their own place in society, are the most important things in the world to them. They define themselves by their relationships.

There is a psychological test in which respondents are told to imagine that they're stranded on another planet, and asked whether they would prefer the aliens there to behave in an angry, hostile way towards them, or to totally ignore them. The vast majority choose hostile aliens. Most NT people prefer negative interactions to no interactions. They need these to feel complete. To ignore them is to make them - in their own minds - cease to exist.

Okay, it's hard for me to just neatly divide people up into "autistic" and "neurotypical." I don't even consider all non-autistic people to be neurotypical. as far as that goes.

I also fit into more categories that tend to get stereotyped and marginalized than just "autistic," and those impact me as much or more than autism (not necessarily more disabling, just more apparent), and I have a lot in common with others who fit into those categories as well. So if I have to divide everyone into autistic and NT, I feel like I have to cut pieces of myself away as well.

So paring it down to people who are not autistic vs. people who are, I guess to me non-autistic people have more social awareness/perception/imagination, are better at reading nonverbal cues (but there are other conditions that affect how one socializes and causes social impairments without being autistic). Non-autistic people may be less likely to experience sensory sensitivities and overload (but many conditions that cause these things, such as migraines, epilepsy, ADHD, and fibromyalgia).

I don't think I can generalize. I get caught up in individuals and exceptions and excessive details.

How did Magneto view non mutants?

There are 10 types of NT's. Those who are jerks, and those who are not.

I agree strongly with what Verdandi said. I hate when Aspies think that there are only Autistics and NTs. Autism is just one of many conditions. But when I think of NTs, I just think of a person who wouldn't need to be diagnosed with any sort of mental disorder, and they socially and intellectually keep up with their peers. But then again, all children are different. When my cousin was 4, he had trouble pronouncing his S's. Like instead of ''spoon'' he would say ''poon''. He grew out of this by the age of 6, but he still spoke slower than other children of his age. By the age of 8 he suddenly caught up with his peers, and carried on developing typically. He's 15 now and is NT with no intellectual delays or social delays.

But the way I see it - we can all make mistakes, but generally NTs are more aware of what's right and what's wrong, and so when they decide to break the social rules, it's usually intentional, whereas when an Aspie breaks the social rules, it's not intentional but is just a mistake the Aspie is unaware of. For example, if an NT is being rude, 9 times out of 10 they know they're being rude, but when an Aspie is being rude it's usually because they are trying to be polite but has mis-used how to be polite in that particular occasion. I hope I have explained myself clearly

NT is a spectrum.

NT's are mostly conformists. Therefore, whatever society declares is normal during that time they adapt to. Right now thanks to reality tv shows, the media, talk shows and magazines the norm is being a narcissist. In the workplace if you are a narcissist it is thought of as having good self esteem. You will earn more than others and climb up the ladder quicker.

If you have failed to assimilate successfully into becoming a narcissist, you will be lower on the pecking order. Sociopathic behavior (not killers) is viewed of as having ambition and a drive for success. You must lack empathy, be a b***h or an as*hole and sabotage. You get bonus points if you earn blackmail material which brings you further up the ladder than a narcissist.

Sociopaths turn into CEO's.
Narcissists turn into managers.

Those brainwashed by this social conditioning but not quite narcissistic or sociopathic enough but clearly are NT's who are waiting for the next mindset trend are still a valuable asset. They are used as empathetic pawns to target those who stand in the narcissist's or sociopath's way of delusions of grandeur, looks better, challenges them in anyway or could possibly get the position they crave.

When I was growing up and Kurt Cobain was alive, the NT's went from being aggressive jerks to passive and compassionate. Their minds are subject to change.

Our minds are our minds. We challenge the current trends because trends are way too powerful in this country. If those current trends means our bullies get whatever they want then we pay the price even more. Our future generation does as well.

Our problem however is that those who do have their own minds tend to keep to themselves and don't network. It's because we've allowed the bullies to establish a fear campaign to keep us isolated. Ever since we were children. If we dare step across the line of introvert to try to be extrovert we were quickly put back. The pattern repeats. Then you learn that if you are alone at least you don't suffer. It's a game.

So stop talking to those who have proven themselves to be untrustworthy, don't appreciate you for you. Instead network with others like you. That is what they do. If we all networked and not just online but had each other's backs making sure our children also aren't left isolated which travels onto adulthood, we could be just as strong.

These conformists are scared of that because it's easier to copy narcissism and sociopathic traits than it is to feel you MUST conform to being smart, minor detailed etc..

Keep challenging these standards by just being you but don't feel alone. These people are threatened by us and don't think for a second that one day they are going to be nice to you because they feel guilty for how they've treated you. The only way they will ever apologize is if you have alot of money or a swimming pool in your backyard.

Also, their reasons for most anything is basic. Over thinking or turning their brains into something complicated or their reasons isn't going to get you anywhere. Learn who to trust, who not to trust. Take those you can trust and discard those you can't. You'll see an improvement in your social life and the NT's that are bullies won't see you as an easy target anymore.

I sometimes feel that, in general, NT's do not like to think about things in depth, and become uncomfortable if you try to have any type of "deep" conversation with them, or ask them questions about why they have a certain opinion or belief, or if you try to explain your own opinions or beliefs in detail to them. I think this is because they often just repeat things that they have heard someone else say, and do not really have enough information to back up their statements or to even understand what they are saying. My mother in particular does this all of the time, and it is very frustrating to me. For example, I enjoy learning about other countries and hope to travel when I am older. One day, I mentioned casually that I would like to travel to Mexico one day, because it seemed like a really cool place. My mother immediately said "You don't want to go to Mexico! It's so dangerous!" I asked her why she thought it was dangerous. She said "You see it all the time on the news." Now, I knew a little bit about drug-related violence in Mexico that occurs in certain towns, and the political situation, etc...because I had done some research and watched a couple documentaries on the subject, which I found to be interesting. And so I knew that by no means is the entire country dangerous, and that many people travel there every year with no problem. I explained this to my mother and asked her why specifically she thought that it would be dangerous for someone to go there. She said she didn't know. I asked her if she could give me a specific example of something she had seen on the news that made her feel like it would be unwise for a person like me to vacation there. She said she didn't know. This drives me nuts! And then she gets mad at me for pressing her and asking her to explain her thoughts. It's because they aren't really her thoughts. If they were, she wouldn't have such a hard time explaining them. She loves to use the phrase "you have an answer for everything, don't you?". Man, if I only had a dollar for every time someone said that to me I would be rich. If someone asks me a question that I am able to answer, or asks for an explanation that I am able to provide, then of course I am going to answer them. If you don't want to hear the answer, then don't ask the question. I think a lot of times when an NT asks a question, they do not actually want you to answer it, and if they say something that is incorrect, they do not want to be corrected.

I am not saying that all NT's are necessarily like this, but I have observed this behavior in some people in the past.

I find the social rules confusing. There's so many rights and wrongs, and there's always an answer to everything when I complain about getting off on the wrong foot with an NT, since the Aspie is always to blame. It's like with conversations - they say ''oh Aspies are the ones who ruin the conversation or can't carry on the conversation'' - when it's not always the case. Some people I can have excellent conversations with and not struggle at all, yet others I can get all confused or shy, and not know what to say, and it doesn't depend on age or gender. It depends on the person. If the person is the type to interrupt and not really listen and is just not my sort, I tend to not say much since I know I will get interrupted, so along comes the awkward silences. If the person talks then pauses to give you time to talk and makes appropriate eye-contact, I find it more easier to get a word in and say my bit. Luckily I'm not the sort of Aspie to ''talk too much'', so I hardly ever interrupt people (in fact, never), and I never ask too many questions (in fact, I often have to pluck up the courage just to ask a question during a conversation). So it shouldn't always be blamed on the Aspie, because sometimes an Aspie can be with the right person for him/her, and can get along relatively well. I know I'm not very dominent in conversations, but I still try my best to carry it on, and the more practice I get, the more better I get at doing it. Although NTs are socially ''better'', they can still be awkward to get along with - especially those types of NTs who are very judgemental and only pick out certain people they like and look down on everyone else. I know a few people like that, and they are mighty difficult to chat to, unless they are the types who are tied with the same brush.

Also - it's like the lack of empathy or sympathy for other people's feelings thing. NTs are just as bad, but because there are more of them than there are of Aspies, it doesn't notice so much, so it just makes Aspies look like the bad ones, because there are too many people what think differently to us, therefore it makes the Aspies get singled out and blamed. I mean, if NTs had better understanding and normal empathy, then how come most don't understand people like us? If NTs had better understanding and normal empathy, then we would have got accepted and never bullied or picked on or anything like that. And before people say, ''they don't know what Autism is like so they wouldn't understand'', then the same goes for us too - ''we don't understand what being NT is like so we wouldn't understand''. Get it? If NTs understood moods, feelings, ect, then why do I get funny looks in the street all the time by random strangers who don't know me and won't see me again, or won't remember me? Yes, I may go out looking dishevelled, or bad-tempered, or tired, or unconfident, but if they're said to have better understanding, then why don't they understand that there could be reasons why I'm looking how I look? Why don't they stop and think, ''oh, maybe she's in a bad mood'' or, ''oh she could have lost her job this morning'' or, ''oh perhaps she works late nights and is tired'' or, ''perhaps she's feeling ill. Perhaps she's picked up that bug what's going around.'' That's what I would have expected from NTs is to have a bit more empathy, instead of staring at me like they don't understand what my behind-the-scenes circumstances might be.

NTs aren't all they're cracked up to be. It's quite obvious if you really sat and thought about it.

They lack simple logic. I'm-not-even-kidding. (Or maybe I'm just surrounded by idiots.)

I thought ASD people were the ones who lack common sense?

Well NTs seem to automatically learn how to be cool in order to cosily fit in to society. They seem to know what fashion is in, and what clothes ''looks odd'' with what other clothes, and what women should do to look feminine, and what men should do to masculine, and so on. For example, I had to be told that it is ''socially wrong'' to go out with greasy hair, or unshaved legs, or unplucked eyebrows, ect, whereas most other girls automatically learnt that once puberty hits. I've always had to learn the hard way (which was through teasing, commenting, criticising, ect). I sort of know all these stupid rules now, but I think I still miss one or two. I remember when I was about 12 or 13, after being out in public my mum saying to me, ''I don't know what people think of you!'' in her most angry voice, so that must mean I used to behave embarrassing when I was out, and embarrassed my mum, but I still can't remember what I exactly used to do.