Isolation, during the crucial years of development.

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Well yes there are people I don't have to be fake around, but even with them its hard for me to feel any sort of connection. I mean I know even if I did find some good friends or something it would not get rid of the feeling of lonliness. It will help distract me from it though.

Exactly!

No? that's why in social psychology they call subjects "actors"

My childhood wasn't really *that* isolating, objectively speaking, though I did feel a bit "different" to everyone else and I'm pretty sure I spent less time with friends than others (I think.), and I tended to have a lone wolf streak at times. Now that I'm older, I'm still somewhat partially isolated as if there's a wall of some sort (It might just be my imagination), though I'm involved with others when there's money or something mutually desirable involved, but it's not really doubted that I'm not well-liked in real life by those who work with me who didn't choose to work with me. I hypothesize higher-than-average-levels-of aggression and less-than-average empathy. Possibly speech deficits. Possibly autism. Possibly an emotional state that tends towards depression, neuroticism and negativity. Possibly self-deprecation which is sympomatic of a low self-esteem which caused me to be attracted to this topic's title and list all of the previous self-deprecatory factors. Possibly a potpourri of various factors. Who knows.

I don't think so. In most situations, yes, I do act, but I often suck at it. But whenever I'm around close friends or family I don't even bother to act. It's a waste of my time that only leads to negative effects.

Yep, most people act to make the best of their social interactions (Except those whose natural disposition is 'socially acceptable' and they're not the timid/anxious temperamental type, then they don't really have to act). However, bad actors tend to fare worse, and most aspies tend to be bad actors. And if you have a naturally unpleasant disposition and you're a bad actor, the outcome tends towards the negative regardless of what you do.

This is exactly how I am. People are almost a necessary evil. Not that they are always evil but even the closest people around me, I only need them in spurts. I get almost giddy when they leave and I have my own freedom to do stuff that I enjoy. Every other person, serves as "objects of thought" and I'd rather not have any social interaction except if absolutely necessary. The Internet has been a blessing for me because I can share thoughts/ideas without all the social trivialities/nonsense. Before the Internet, the objects of thoughts/ideas were just authors in the library and while they were excellent, there wasn't a two-way communication allowing for clarification, etc.

I was OK as a small child, but when I got to about 12 I started to realise - and care - how lonely I was. I had more friends as a small child, but as I got up to the high school my abilities to keep friends decreased rapidly, and I was sort of left in the dark, and the only friends I ended up having were the special needs assistants. I was the ''class idiot'', which made me angry because trust ME to be the only kid with a disability, out of a whole class of 30 kids. There were about 4 or 5 boys with some learning delays, but it didn't affect their social skills, and they seemed to have grew out of their learning delays by around 14, and grew even more social than ever. I know I did gain some confidence by 15, and I started caring more about my friends than my coursework, but I still had some social difficulties. I got in with the stupidest girls who kept getting the arseache over me without me hardly doing anything, so I had to tread on eggshells to keep the peace, but I knew that it was either that or no friends at all, and you know how you are at 15 years old - it's quite natural for most 15-year-old girls to have to have friends, whether they are bitchy or not.

I agree that it is hard to fake it for a long time, when all you want to do is just be more like yourself, but people don't accept the real you.
I have also experienced being avoided/ignored by people and it only increases your sense of isolation.

This is similar to how it was for me.

All kids are pretty weird, so I don't think anyone noticed that I was different until we got older. It was like one day everyone noticed at the same time, and from that point on I was bullied. We were in the country, and they would drive behind me on my way home after school...racing up and forcing me to run into the ditch . At school they would fill my locker with garbage and throw burning cigarettes and rocks at me. My home life was also very turbulent and abusive so I was too afraid to mention it. It lasted for around two years, until I (thankfully) got a male friend who was new to the school, and "the tough guy" LOL.

I absolutely have to act. The only time I don't is when it is only myself and my husband. Otherwise people quickly figure out that I'm different and avoid me like the plague. I would hardly dare say or do the things that I feel most of the time. I can't even imagine the repercussions. I'm a terrible actor though so I generally prefer to be alone. I dislike the noise and energy level that comes with being around people.

Once upon a time, I felt isolated. Now I love it, and I am thankful that people leave me alone.

I'm a afraid it's a proven fact. All human beings change their behavior in the presence of 1 or more other humans. It's the fundamental premise of social psychology.

I was talking about the social expectation that someone outwardly show (through voice-tone, body language, etc...) or at least exaggerate an emotion that they aren't fully feeling. Obviously there are gradations of fakeness. This expectation to "put on a happy face" is at it's most inhumane and oppressive level in the service sector workplace. It exists to a lesser extent in other situations.

This depends on how you gauge "fakeness". People's outward expressions often (even unintentionally) mask fluctuations in mood, emotion and feeling toward other individuals within visual contact.

For example almost 99% of heterosexual males will be forced to subdue feeling of arousal when they meet an attractive woman. Most will be able to project a straight face, when in reality their inner thoughts are completely different.

I was isolated as a child, I sonetimes wonder if it is the reason for my social problems. If it is then it may be fixable. Maybe the isolation brings one the other syptoms. as our social part of our brain is not being stimulated other parts get more active? who knows.

What i will say is i used to blame my shyness on that. but now i know that i am not shy its just the impression that is given off.
some how that helps. and i dont try to fight it no more

When I was a kid I was not isolated at home my parents made me go out to play with their friend's kids that lived on our street. The kids were always playing football, hockey, and basketball all of which I hated with a passion I wanted to stay home and play with action figures or my Atari. If I did not come out to play they would ring our doorbell or knock on the window so my parents would come out and make me play with them. They did this so they had even teams not because they liked me. I would try to stay inside as much as possible I was probably the only kid who was praying for rain so I could camp out on the couch that way I could watch tv by myself. My parents would tell me it was not normal to want to stay away from people they were worried that I would grow up to be a hermit (Which I did ) When I was at school the other kids did their best to avoid me or they came right out and tormented me right in front of the teachers.

Say it loud, and say it proud.