Seeking diagnosis as a teen...w/o mom and pop?

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What you describe certainly sounds a lot like Asperger's Syndrome. You've described the idiosyncracies, the resistance to any sort of change, the inability to have close friends, the communication problems and the lack of empathy.

What caught my attention though was where you mentioned living in a hell hole depending on a man that has made your life a living hell. I apologize if I'm overstepping the boundaries but this needs more clarification. How is he making your life a living hell? And assuming that he is your boyfriend, why haven't you dumped his ass yet?

I cannot tell you what you seem to want to hear: that there are lots of free psychologists out there who will give you assessment without your parents' knowledge. That simply is not the case, so this is my final suggestion, and if you don't like it, then no one is forcing you to follow it. Perhaps it would be helpful to TEMPORARILY forget about the diagnosis. Work as hard as you can in school, apply to college, and then go through the school psychological services there. It doesn't sound like college is too far off for you, but I could be wrong. Those services are free, and while they usually cannot provide the diagnosis, they can provide support--and a referral to someone who can diagnose you. By the time you get there, you don't have to involve your parents at all. Your school counselling sessions are between you and her/him.

If you end up not going to college, when you turn 18, you can go to a psychologist without your parents' knowledge, and you can talk about whatever you want. Get yourself to the appointments, and get yourself back. Your parents never even have to know. You'll be an adult, and you do not have to tell them every little thing. You can talk about Aspergers, depression, your family life that seems to have caused some pent up anger, or whatever else you want to discuss. No one will ever know but you and your psych, and since you will be an adult, you will have no reason to tell your parents if you do not want to.

I know that probably isn't good enough. When I wanted the diagnosis, I wanted it right away. That doesn't seem like it is going to happen for you though, so this is just one possible suggestion. Again, if you think the advice sucks: feel free not to follow it. No one is trying to offend you or set you back on the process.

That's certainly better advice than what I've given.

hah abusive boyfriend abusive boyfriend, i wish i had an abusive boyfriend, i'd feel a lot better about other people's interest in me.
no. my dead beat father. you...i...mentioned already...in my original post...didn't i?
i'm sorry, i am talking about the monster that raised me to be afraid in my own home.
no, not an abusive boyfriend, unfortunately i can't even get close enough to another human to form a crummy, likely sex-based relationship with minimal emotions attached. guess i'm just lucky.
and in the same way, it's not like i can just start talking about depression. i've wanted to for a solid three years...it's not possible for me.i think i might fall past psychosis if i try any harder to discuss it. plus i'm not down now, if i even bring that up i know any professional will harp on it and brush off my main concern. or rather, interest.

i know you can't tell me what i want to hear...i don't even know what that is.

i hate applying for college looking like i don't care about school...it doesn't seem just to me.

thank you for all your help, i know i've been a b*tch tonight. i'm just really really all over the place right now.