delusional thinking

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Oh I forgot a delusion I used to have that really disturbed me. I kept thinking that the day/time could change suddenly and I wouldn't know it. I had to keep asking people what day it was to make sure.

By faaaarrrrrr my biggest delusion was that I was in denial of my autism and believing I was NT for the past 45 years. The information was withheld from me perhaps the doctors of the time felt I was too young and any knowledge my have an adverse effect on me and I may end up with a defeatist attitude and not thrive mentally. (Making excuses like "can’t do this history exam because I am autistic", or "can’t play in the football team because I am autistic”).

However I did think had something missing with my inability to socialize and make friends in a group. Occasionally I could just manage with a single playmate from time to time but as soon as the third child enters into it I was invariably left out. I felt there was definitely something lacking but I could eventually train myself out of it so I could easily fit into a group and be another one of the boys.

I had the delusion this was all of my own making and nature had nothing to do with it. The temper tantrums, the excessive day dreaming and biting on my finger in school class room and obsessive daydreaming thoughts going around and around in my mind like a wheel etc "all my fault".

Then there I was a segment on Australia’s ABC's This Day Tonight about 25 years ago about a mother who was struggling to cope with her autisic son. He was obsessed with his bike, had tantrums was not terribly affectionate and prone to self harm; all the behavioural traits I had at that age. But I still openly denied it, but I started to have a kind on an uneasy gut feeling I was autistic. I was given a diagnosis at that time as chronic social anxiety or sociophobia but the psychiatrist of the day did not take into account that it was a condition I had since my childhood
But now that has been brought to their attention I have now been diagnosed with high function autism

I answered yes but with a qualifier...I have had beliefs that were odd....thinking my mother was hideing my things or had put a severed hand under my pillow(dont know where that one came from!!)
but I have had other beliefs that "others" would call delussional but have yet to be "proven" not true...like I was a witch in a past life or am an alian....they "probably" arent true...My life decissions arent based on them but ...they have not been proven untrue to my satisfaction...I am guilty of having an imagination and a disdain for the "reality" of a society which Proves itself to be "insain" everyday(I watch to much news and history channel)...sometimes I have to come up with some rather bizzare "theories" to try and make sense of a world that is very crazy to me...

krex, my delusions are also divided up into what is "definitely" not true and what "probably" is not true.

when i was young, i had a huge hole in the wall of my closet and it caused me great fear at night because i thought that monsters lived in it.

i know it sounds like the typical "afraid of the dark" thing but it developed to where i thought they were watching me all day... everywhere i went. and it got to the point that any room (home or public) i wouldn't go into it unless it were well lit OR i gave myself like 30 sec to dash in and turn on the light. if i couldnt do this... then BAD things happened.

this went on til i was like a teenager.

it also spurred a huge art project of mine. i had some at least 50 pictures of all these different monsters and of things like other kids they had eaten.

I thought my nextdoorneighbours (students like me) had some electronic equipment (not by any software infected on my computer or similar) so they could spy on my computer, or perhaps only hear the sound output. I heard them laugh and thoght they laughed at me and what I did at the computer. It lasted a week.

As a child, I had a bit of gradiose and adored Stalin and Hitler, and fatasiced about my own terrorregime.

I have bipolar disorder so sometimes experience delusions and sometimes hallucinations during severe episodes, it mainly happnes during depression though

I luckly do not suffer this but I have enough other problems to compensate

Yes I have suffered from delusional thoughts at various times in my life. I guess because we can't read social situations as well as NTs do our minds fill in the gaps in our understanding. And because we get a lot of hostile (or just strange) reactions from people we are liable to get paranoid. Kinda makes sense!

I definitely have a few 'issues'. I can see that they are ridiculous, yet they plague me almost daily.

One is that I often become convinced that others can read my thoughts, especially if they are within immediate proximity. I'll not allow myself to think about certain things if there are people close by, especially people who know me. I then convince myself that they are deliberately pretending not to know what I'm thinking, because they don't think I know they can read my thoughts. I find myself watching for any sign of a reaction that would prove a response to my thoughts... such as a look of ill-ease if I thought about something bad.

Another thought that plagues me often is wondering if everyone else in the world are either actors, or robots, or an illusion. The robot one seems to worry me most. I often think that the world is some sort of giant test that I am being put through, and I'm being recorded and graded on my actions.

I think this delusion came about because I didn't understand how everyone else seemed to 'know' how to behave and react in situations and I didn't. I felt like they must have been 'programmed' with all that social knowledge and the ability to cope with situations that, to me, seemed VERY stressful. And that therefore, I must be the only 'real' person, having to learn coping strategies and rules that everyone else already seemed to inately know.

I still have these feelings, but the fact that I'm posting here is proof enough that I'm able to push them back and accept they're just delusions and that other people really are real

My Aspie husband is delusional in the sense that he thinks members of our religion in our own hall blame him for the fact that daughters boyfrind lives with us and that members think his stupid for allowing it. He thinks that people there whisper and talk about him, but he thought this a long time before A came to live with us. he thinks we don't get invited anywhere because they don't like him.
He comes home and he thunks that they conspire against him. It takes many talks with him to explain this isn't so. Untill the next meeting and it starts all over again.
The truth is they do like him but they feel uneasy because he doesn't read their body language and he can't stay on the same subject for more then three sentances. and the majority don't even think about A living with us and who is to blame. And no one is conspiring against him.

I have constant paranoid convictions some days that everyone, even strangers in the street, are deliberately going out of their way to distress me or make things difficult for me.

only on a rare occasion.

yup. all the time. now if only i could find a way to prove that i'm NOT crazy.