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Guilt over physical contact with the opposite sex?

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justjelliot
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12 Jul 2011, 6:48 am

Rocky wrote:
ToughDiamond wrote:
Rocky wrote:
I don't feel guilt from touching the opposite sex, but I would feel nervous doing so, except a handshake or something. I haven't done much dancing in my life, especially touch dancing. When I was in 7th grade, our physical education class included square dancing. I loved it. I liked getting permission to touch girls. Everything was very specifically indicated as to what was appropriate. Just like the conventions for shaking hands.

Oh yes......square dancing, circle dancing, line dancing, ceilidh dancing......a wonderful opportunity to get used to touching people in a harmless, controlled way. I like it because the rules are so well-defined, you know exactly what's OK and what's not OK, the boundaries don't change and as long as you stick within them, you're safe.


I agree. A lot of Aspies would benefit from pursuing these. In retrospect, I would have had a much easier time meeting girls if I had taken some classes in dancing, especially the types you mention which have specific steps. The classes themselves would be the easiest part.


I always felt terrible during these kinds of events. Whenever I went out dancing with friends, I felt like crap. Even if it was just two step. It's the season for weddings now, and I always bounce when dancing time starts. I don't know how to shake this feeling, even though I am able to shake my booty.


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12 Jul 2011, 7:24 am

I like touching girls. I just wish it would happen more often



ToughDiamond
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12 Jul 2011, 7:28 am

justjelliot wrote:
I always felt terrible during these kinds of events. Whenever I went out dancing with friends, I felt like crap. Even if it was just two step. It's the season for weddings now, and I always bounce when dancing time starts. I don't know how to shake this feeling, even though I am able to shake my booty.

That's a shame. The only thing that holds me back is that I don't actually know the dances. Nothing a good teacher couldn't fix though. We got some rudimentary dancing lessons at school from the time I was 5, in a nice orderly school back in the 1950s, so my experiences of it were fairly positive. I've gone to a few lessons since, but I wouldn't dare actually go dancing without a few more lessons.......I'm unlikely to do that unless I find a partner to take along........otherwise they might do this thing where they leave everybody to pair up, and I always end up as the odd one out at the end. :x



Wolfboy183
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06 Apr 2012, 12:23 am

I always found it hard to start / maintain a romantic or sexual relationship. whenever i had sex or close touching with any woman (totally consensual etc) i felt so guilty i thought i was a criminal or a scumbag. my first girlfriend dumped me because I was too afraid to have sex with her (out of fear of getting in major trouble etc). How do i deal with this?



starryeyedvoyager
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06 Apr 2012, 1:56 am

This is pretty much one of my main issues with getting in touch (pun intended) with women. I would never voluntarily touch a women in a casual context. I can't really put my finger on it (enough with the puns, damn me!) why that is. I assume it is because I do not like being touched in the first place myself, and I always feel like this holds true for everyone else. As for women, I guess it makes me feel additionally uncomfortable, because I fear it might cause any kind of arousal in me, and the woman might notice it, thinking I might reduce her to an object to stimulate my desires. I don't know how else to describe it, but I don't want to women feel uncomfortable by getting touched, even if it is involuntary.