Arian wrote:
Todesking wrote:
an do it but it kills a little bit of me each time I do it. I feel so tired I have to sit down for several hours after I get home and be quiet ortherwise I get pissed off.
Exactly the same for me. I can fake it - just act the part, put on the mask or whatever, but it kills me inside and I have to have recovery time afterwards. Which is why I avoid Sales, Marketing, Chef and Recruitment jobs, really
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I can completley agree, I developed coping strategies like how to act how to steer a conversation onto a subject that allowed the other party to talk and take the lead in the conversation, but in doing this for 8 years in a high pressure environent it drew more attention to myself when the ties I had to recoupe my strength and concentration (as it can be a mammoth task,) because one minute I was able to pass myself off as a NT the times I would then revert into a confused and awkward aspie people would notice and it would then draw even more attention by people asking "whats wrong? why so quiet?" so I was rather than finding the balance I craved, I had set myself up on the scales so to speak tilting from one extreme to the other, that when I had a massive meltdown and basically burnt myself out.
I stopped eating for 2 weeks couldn't hold down food at all, had a max of 2 hrs sleep due to waking up in a massive panic attack and develpoed severe anxiety and mood swings agorophobia, fear of any subtle or slight change at all, it was really really bad that when I knew what the real meaning of terrified was
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