Can you suppress AS behaviours and "act NT"?

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Moog
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01 Jul 2011, 6:19 am

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Can you suppress AS behaviours and "act NT"?


I think it's more useful to think of acting in terms of negative and positive, rather than NT or AS.

I find I get on well with people when I bring positive behaviours, and I would say that neither neurotype had a monopoly on one polarity or other.


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Arian
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01 Jul 2011, 7:59 am

It's coming across like everyone acts NT, but feels very uncomfortable about it :).

I admit, I was reading Fahrenheit 451 earlier, and pages 61-63 really spoke to me - the premise is that in order to facilitate politically correct behaviour, every method of controversy is supressed (ok, destroyed), thus creating a bland, homogonised existence where everything is acceptable and nothing destroys the socially accepted status quo. Scary (add in Soma from Brave New World and I think we have the West of today! 8O ).

So, from that point of view, I don't want to conform. I want to take pride in my differences, regardless of how uncomfortable that makes 'normal' people. But... taking that stance can be a very lonely thing, and I wonder if that isn't what troubles us. We aren't NT, yet we feel we have to act it in order to be acceptable. Somehow, that makes me vaguely worried, but I don't want to look too closely about why :? .


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The_Walrus
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01 Jul 2011, 8:02 am

I can do, and did do for years, but the process has worn me down so much that I've given up. It didn't make me happy, so why bother?



Xayah
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01 Jul 2011, 8:09 am

I can't make eye contact when needed. It's a real pain, and I only realised recently how bizarre it looks. I do suppress other behaviors such as fidgeting, talking too much and I take care of myself physically. That's usually enough to take me from looking like a closeted serial killer to a cold hard b***h. I don't mind that as much as I should! :roll:

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Keimeren
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01 Jul 2011, 8:24 am

Arian wrote:
Todesking wrote:
an do it but it kills a little bit of me each time I do it. I feel so tired I have to sit down for several hours after I get home and be quiet ortherwise I get pissed off.


Exactly the same for me. I can fake it - just act the part, put on the mask or whatever, but it kills me inside and I have to have recovery time afterwards. Which is why I avoid Sales, Marketing, Chef and Recruitment jobs, really ;).


I can completley agree, I developed coping strategies like how to act how to steer a conversation onto a subject that allowed the other party to talk and take the lead in the conversation, but in doing this for 8 years in a high pressure environent it drew more attention to myself when the ties I had to recoupe my strength and concentration (as it can be a mammoth task,) because one minute I was able to pass myself off as a NT the times I would then revert into a confused and awkward aspie people would notice and it would then draw even more attention by people asking "whats wrong? why so quiet?" so I was rather than finding the balance I craved, I had set myself up on the scales so to speak tilting from one extreme to the other, that when I had a massive meltdown and basically burnt myself out.

I stopped eating for 2 weeks couldn't hold down food at all, had a max of 2 hrs sleep due to waking up in a massive panic attack and develpoed severe anxiety and mood swings agorophobia, fear of any subtle or slight change at all, it was really really bad that when I knew what the real meaning of terrified was


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billybud21
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01 Jul 2011, 8:59 am

Yep, I can cloak my aspie traits. As a young boy I developed an alternate persona. It is basically 180 degrees different that who I really am and I hate doing it, but sometime, well when in Rome do as the Romans do. I have talked a lot to my psychologist about because I feel like I am not being true to who I really am as a person, but I understand we need to do what is necessary to make it through the day.


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littlelily613
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01 Jul 2011, 11:09 am

Australien wrote:
If you had to - if there was a real and significant potential payoff to doing so, let's say: "bonding" with a potential client who would make a lot of money for your employer and get you the job you always wanted, or perhaps to escape a potentially threatening social situation unscathed - could you suppress your AS behaviours and act NT temporarily? Could you do it for a few hours every day if you needed to? Have you ever had to? Have you ever tried, and failed?


No. It doesn't matter how hard I try, I am never completely normal.


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edgezz
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01 Jul 2011, 11:32 am

I do every day. More than for any other reason, I decided what outcome I wanted and learned to do the "tasks" required to achieve it. In some cases it is almost robotic. Scripted all the way through. I describe it to my girlfriend as "working towards predetermined outcomes". But in doing this I have learned some skills and coping mechanisms that have evolved and I find that I can really let things flow naturally once in a while. It is a struggle at times and can wear me down quite a bit. But it has great value. It is like a price tag. If I want a specific outcome then I have to "pay up" in some way. I do enjoy the interaction sometimes. All things being equal, I would rather just focus on my special interests and recede into myself but the benefits of this type of "activity" far outweigh the cost.