Good looking aspies. Do people bypass your aspergers

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early 21st century germanic society criteria.

That hardly proves pretty people get away with murder. All it proves is you get ignored when you don't screw up.

Hardly unbiased.

Why does that matter?

for now, we're talking about good looking people, and using the same general english speaking criteria, we all know what we're talking about and we also mostly agree that yes - this is good looking.

Don't make this a "western ideas of beauty are horrible" thread because your spiteful.

If we don't meet the criteria then we will be judged and thought of negatively, if we're not healthy, attractive and thin then we fall short of the criteria and our self esteem..something.

Yes, Heather Kuzmich is proof of that those with AS can become models.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LHkOK_C3FJQ&feature=related[/youtube]

Spiteful? I think you just called me ugly.

I just don't see how we can possibly answer the OP completely objectively.

First, how does one know they are attractive? People aren't exactly known for being objective about their appearances. Second, how do we account for the fact that everyone views different things as attractive?

Too many variables.

People only bypass the Aspergers at first. I started modeling as a teenager and found it very nerve racking to do photo shoots and be critiqued all of the time. Boys at school would ask me out just for the shear fact I was a model. A few times, I made the mistake of accepting a date, during which I found absolutely nothing to talk about with the person. I usually didn't get asked for a second date and developed the nickname "Ice Princess". If you are a good-looking Aspie, people usually mistake you for being snobby or egotistical because of the avoidance of social interaction. Being female, I have found it extremely difficult to make other female friends because of their misconceptions about my personality. It's always the same, they take one look at me, get jealous and decide I'm a stuck up diva because I don't initiate conversations and appear aloof. Guys are not much better, they take a look at you, try to make a move (I do not welcome flirting at all) and get shot down, so then they avoid me. Glad I have FINALLY met Mr. Right who somehow got past all that stuff and loves his Aspie wife!

When I was younger (and still had a full head of hair lol) people would occasionally say I was "handsome", I also had a group of friends back then. I havent received any such compliments in years though, and my group of friends has dwindled away, so I guess that does prove that good looking aspies have a better time of it. But then the same can be said for good looking NTs so I guess the point is a bit moot.

I'm average-looking for a man; nothing unusually good or bad, but I'm also a bodybuilder, and people do tend to come up to me to ask questions about how I got into the shape I'm in, etc. I guess you could say it's an "ice breaker", but I don't know if it has any positives or negatives in regard to meeting people or making friends.

Charles

People, I think, would be more inclined to interact with you and to put up with pretty, quiet Aspies (if you are loud and appear obnoxious, then they won't - but a quiet one should be able to pull it off).

Here is the misconception that I always used to have however - people not ignoring you or being outright rude to you doesn't mean they will be kind to you. All the smiles you get and people going out of their way for no reason, you will soon realise that they are only doing that to manipulate you, to get something from you.

The same cruelty that comes from people when they see the ugly, socially akward? That cruelty is there too when they see the pretty, clueless. It's just hidden - a poison instead of a fire.

And as Aspies, we are generally increadibly easy to manipulate. I wouldn't say it makes it easier. Not at all.

It is subjective, yes, but it is not entirely relative. In many respects there are general physical attributes that coalesce to produce a common sense of "beauty" or "attractiveness" and so on. The main ones being symmetry, and a well-proportioned body, indicating strength, capability, fortitude. This is however only the physical aspect of human interaction. Many people value intellectual abilities (such as myself) to the point where it weighs equally as much as physical appearance. I think people who say "appearances don't matter at all" are only fooling themselves (in that it's what we wish were true) - biologically appearance serves a purpose, it tells about the health/fitness of that individual - humans are quite sexually selective when given an array of people to choose from, it has been part of our evolution for sure.

Yes, I think that this definitely plays a factor. Some actions that are seen as cute when done by an attractive person are seen as unusual/creepy when done by an unattractive person.

I think that the criteria for "good looking" as to the purposes of this thread are can be encapsulated in the "30 Helens Agree" model posited by the Kids in The Hall skit comedy group.
A.K.A. it is a social construction. the more people that agree that you are good looking, the MORE good looking you are.

When and how this correlates with the other variable being "AS traits are passed over/ignored/forgiven" is in itself very variable. People see what they expect to see, so socially acceptable behaviors may be weighed more heavily, and ones that are less so dismissed or deemed "eccentric" or other favorable cast to it.

This also touches on the very real visible disability/non visible disability dichotomy. People with visible disabilities can be loosely equated with those percieved as unattractive by society, since society has a similar reaction to them: ignore, dismiss, take advantage of, reject. People with NON-visible disabilities, or those deemed attractive, can be loosely equated in reaction: unreasonable expectation that all to often go unmet, and the social expectation that the reason these expectation are NOT met is a personal failing on the part of the attractive disabled person.

It is partially because our social concepts of "disability" and "attractiveness" are at odds with each other, nearly to the point of contradicting each other.

My culture has no place for me, as who I am. I am an attractive female autistic. People get all these bizarre ideas about me in their heads, archetypes to which I jive with not at all. I'm nothing like that. There is VERY little forgiveness for not conforming to social construction, less so for those who lack visible traits that can be used as a mitigation.

So, no, pretty AS people don't get better treatment, because they cannot conform to the subsequent expectations these concepts are attached to. Add elevated diction to the mix, and you're pretty much a recipe for being branded a b***h/jerk/intentionally malicious person.

I'm pretty much that most beautiful being on the planet, and no one ever suspects it with me, which actually makes my life pretty difficult.The up side is that I just have to stand there and people are in awe, so I don't have to say anything, risking any awkward social stuffs.

Lol. So true. People get so used to me being quiet and formally polite. A lot of the time when I do something inappropriate they laugh and think I'm just being funny. And when I forget myself and go off about my special interist (one on one at least) they sit there listening to me for days before they actually tell me to knock it off. I've been told that it's just so nice to hear me talking about something they wouldn't have cared if I was talking about doorknobs.

When I was fat I was "creepy" or "annoying"... or the "R" word. When I was ripped I was "mysterious" or "shy". When I was paper thin I was told "It's all right dear, just sit there and be eye candy".

If I could go back and tell my old fat self anything though, it would be this: "Yes, people would treat you better if you were thin. And no, for the most part you wouldn't like it any better."

I'm slightly uglier than average looking.

I don't think most people suspect I have AS. I think a few people suspect the schizo spectrum with me and they think I hear voices and shizz. I don't. Only people with some experience of autism suspect I have an ASD.

Last edited by puddingmouse on 19 Jul 2011, 3:34 pm, edited 1 time in total.