I'm tired of not knowing if I have it or not!

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You said the other day that you do not think you would qualify for a diagnosis.

I don't want to be too blunt, but the way I see it is this:

If you do not have enough symptoms to qualify for a diagnosis, and you are not limited in one way or another in your functioning, it will be a waste of time and money to go get one done since you have to have some sort of limitation to qualify.

If you are limited in your functioning and/or you think you might have it, then you have two options. You can remain uncertain (or be self-diagnosed) or you can go get a professional diagnosis. I also had a bad psych the first time. What did I do? I went to another one. Yes, it is expensive, but I am limited in functioning and I needed the diagnosis. If you must get professional verification in order to accept it you have another two options: you can decide that you do not have if you do not meet the diagnostic criteria and not worry about it, or you can save up some money and go to another psychologist when you have it saved.

I'm sorry, but there is no other option. If you don't want to accept a self-diagnosis and you also do not want to pay to go get a professional diagnosis, then there is not much else you are able to do about except just move on as you and not worry about labels.

I agree with this. I go back and forth on the idea of whether or not I have AS but I try not to worry about it too much (though it does bother me that I don't have a definitive answer). When I look at videos or think about moments of my childhood I sort of see a mildly ASD kid, but then when I look at me now I see more well-rounded person. I kind of feel like I don't fit the criteria because, in my mind at least, I don't think of myself as having major problems... but then if I look at my circumstances (I can't seem to finish college, don't have a 'real' job, no social life) I can kind of see how maybe I am actually having problems.

One of the issues I think is that you can only really see things from your perspective, the way my mind works is completely normal to me. (Warning: Bad analogy time! ) But I kind of think it is like discovering the Earth is not flat... if you just go out in a field and look around you are likely to say 'of course the earth is flat'. (Of course everyone thinks like me!) But when you start taking more detailed observations about the world you come to realize that it is indeed not flat. (Or that people actually don't think like I do!)

@Spazzergasm: You said maybe you should just leave... I don't think so. If you feel like if this site helps you in some way then that really is then no need to 'leave us alone'. Whether or not I have an ASD I still come here because 1) I relate to what people say here, 2) it helps me learn more about myself in some round-a-bout way, 3) I actually feel comfortable here.

If you feel like you contribute and gain anything yourself from being here, then why would you leave? Do you need some reassurances?

I would love to hear your story and what brought you here. You seem very interesting.

I don't know if I ever said that? Did I? I remember someone else saying that, oddly. Maybe I said it, too.
Also, I didn't say I wouldn't spend money, or save up if it comes to it. I just am worried about spending too much (or the price I have to save up. )

I'm not sure if it could help me in the future! I have a terrible fear of public speaking. A lot worse than usual. I don't know if it helps in that area though (letting me do it to a smaller crowd, or one-on-one).

I don't know. I guess. :/

To WP?

autism is practically defined by obsessive interests and difficulty with social skills. so you have to ask yourself:
- do you have obsessive interests? are your interests common to people with autism?
- has anyone ever told you that what you have said is rude without you being aware what you said is rude? do you have difficulty reading body language?
you may also want to look at your childhood history and family resemblance of autism or other neurological diagnosis

when i was diagnosed the doctor had to rule out personality disorders and other psychological disorders. you may want to do some research and perform your own differential diagnosis.
- did you experience abuse as a child (if you have you most likely have a personality disorder)?
- if you are aware that what you have said is not socially acceptable you most likely have a personality disorder)
- what differentiates neuroticism, personality disorder, other psychological disorders is obsessive interests. if you don't have one then you most likely have something else.

also these differences should be clinically significant. so if the symptoms you think apply to you do not affect how you live and breath, then chances are you are normal! be glad and celebrate that you are not socially ret*d!

I do have obsessive interests. I don't know if they're common to people with autism. They do change, too. I go through periods of not having them, as well. My biggest one was reptiles when I was younger. I was passionately obsessed with them and would follow my mom around the house telling her about them. I still adore them and get super excited when I see/get to hold them, especially snakes.

I think so. I'm pretty sure. I don't know if I have difficulty with body language. The thing about these two is when I started needing to use them, I got very interested in reading them, and researching them. I can read them, but I pay more attention than the average person.

There is believed to be Autism in my dad's side of the family. My dad acts like he may have it, and his brother acts pretty severe. Neither really stim, apart from leg/foot stuff, but they sure act like it mentally. My uncle has a monotonous voice, is very socially awkward, is obsessed with local politics, and doesn't really express emotion, or care for others. He seems in his own world.
My mom's brother has some stuff like ADHD and Tourettes, but they lost his diagnostic material a long while ago, and forgot about what else he had. Her other brother seems schizophrenic. He has paranoid delusions. Their father was very, very quiet and almost a hermit. He was only interested in nature.

I wasn't abused as a child. What if I'm aware after I say it? I've become very paranoid about messing up, and I often don't say things out of concern they're not acceptable, even if they are sometimes.

I felt much the same way before I got my diagnosis. No matter how sure you are, you tend to always wonder until you hear it from someone else.

If you're going to be at a college, a lot of time they will have professors there - if you find one who has experience with Autism you can likely arrange to take a lecture from them and talk to them after class about it.

There are often free counseling services available for students (there were back at my college in Colorado) and you could bring it up there to see if there was anyone who would agree to test you (the councilors wouldn't be able to help, but might know who to talk to in order to get you in with someone who could). Aspergers in females is both rare and often undiagnosed, so any college with a psychology program should (if they cared at all about science and learning) be more than happy to work with a potential female Aspie. (seriously, my first thought when I discovered I might have Aspergers was "Woot! first-hand experience with it. I can totally study myself!")

Anyway, best wishes to you.

Actually you can be limited in functioning and still not have enough symptoms for a diagnoses. But the symptoms you have still impair you and limit you because they are that bad. Unfortunately that is a gray area for a diagnoses. I am sure the doctor will diagnose them anyway with it just so they get the help they need such as for at work or in school or to get SSI since they are struggling in life such as holding down a job or getting one.

When I said "you" I meant in general for anyone with that issue.

Last edited by League_Girl on 27 Jul 2011, 2:45 pm, edited 1 time in total.

then just go to sleep and forget it all.

Oh, wow! I hope they would want to know about it in a female aspie. So if I tested positive, and agreed to partake in tests and stuff, they might give me one?

If they had someone on staff who had experience/training to do so, then I think it's a real possibility. Prof's often need to write papers to maintain tenure too, so there could be that motivation as well if you were able to spark their interest.

I do feel the same way as you. I just recently join the site and is not sure if I belong here or not. It is very hard to find someone in my area that can diagnose Asperger's or autism. A lot of the psychologist around here work at the mental health center and rather treat with medication. I have been to therapist before when I was a kid and a teenager. One for a fear of thunderstorms, and the other for bullying issues (just told me to hide in the restroom to get away from it all). I even been to one now for my marriage because me and my husband been having a hard time. I do love my husband but its hard to express that feeling back without thinking of criticism.

I really hope this will be the case for me!! !! !

I was diagnosed when I was 38, it helped me a lot to make sense of things and to finally understand why I acted the way I did. Its probably different for girls in this culture anyway. Looking people in the eyes is a big thing in American male culture. "real men look each other in the eye when they speak to one another". By the time I was a teenager I had learned to overcome my aversion to looking people in the eyes unfortunately I did it in a way that made me seem aggressive or strange so a lot of conflicts ensued.

And anyway it was a big help to 'know" for sure. Finding a doctor was a major challenge though, your average Psychologist knows between diddly and squat about autism and therapists are worse than useless. (they actually expect you to tell them about yourself)<shudder> It took my wife months to find a Neuro-psychologist who was knowledgeable about autism. I went in about 4-5 times couple hours each just doing these tests that tell how you think. Some were IQ tests others i'm not so sure about.

That being said, autism has had a huge impact on my life limiting me in extreme ways, if that is not the case for you you may not need a diagnosis. But you are young it might be best to know now than to find out later after it screws up your life. I know(think?) that had I known 20-30 years ago it would have made a huge difference in my life.

Hey Sis',

I've been away from WP for nearly a year and you are one of the main reasons I bothered to come back, this week

I'm not diagnosed either and so I can empathize with the conflict that you describe.

I no longer have any doubt about whether I have Asperger's or perhaps PDD-NOS, I slam right into it at every 'social' event that I attend with my wonderful NT wife (who acts as my seeing eye dog)

At this stage my curiosity has switched to 'what else is in there'.

I exhibit clear OCD behaviour, which Autistic people commonly demonstrate - but I am quite sure there is more.

In the meantime I am coping with my challenges and walking the walk.

Great to see you here Meat Girl

That's nice of you.

I'm still at the aspie stage...