Exaggerations in level of functioning?

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I am somewhere between

and

I cannot really act 'normal' I don't even know how to go about it, yes it can be frusterating but I really don't have any desire to conform to that.

If no impairment is present, you can't diagnose autism. There's a gray area between autistic and NT, though.

There are people who are not impaired and not diagnosable, but who nevertheless have autistic traits and an autistic brain-type. Some will self-diagnose and identify as autistic; others will identify as NT with autistic traits or broader autistic phenotype. Some of them were diagnosable as children. Under stress (physical or psychological; illness or injury), they may skip into the diagnosable-autistic range as their autistic traits outstrip their coping mechanisms and create impairment.

(I should note that as far as I can tell, most self-diagnosed people would be diagnosable upon evaluation by a professional. Self-diagnosis, as a phenomenon, seems to be driven more by people who cannot access or do not trust psychological services, than by people who are in the gray area between autistic and NT and wish to put themselves firmly in one category.)

It seems to me that maybe there really isn't such a grey area. There either is impairment, or there isn't. If one has "autistic wiring" but no impairment due to coping techniques, I'd say that still counts as a NT. While, by definition, that contradicts itself, there is no way "autistic wiring" can be determined with the technology we have today. It's all done by behavior, and if there's no autistic behavior, then, for all intents and purposes today, that is considered to be NT. You know what I mean?

For the professionals, sure. There's no reason for them to worry about the gray area if the people in it don't need any kind of treatment.

But as far as personality and thinking styles go, it's entirely possible that the gray-area group would fit in better with autistics than with NTs, have more in common with autistics, maybe even have learning styles that are more autistic-like than NT-like, and benefit more from teaching that takes that into account. This autistic cognitive style needn't mean impairment, but it can probably mean difference, like the difference between being an auditory versus a visual learner. Maybe someone with an autistic cognitive style benefits from clear lists of instructions just like autistics do--only, for the autistic person, it's a necessary prerequisite for learning rather than something that just makes learning easier and more efficient.

I personally believe it's the wiring that should matter for the diagnosis. You have autism or you don't: it's a way of thinking that's wired into you. You can learn to cope with it, but you'll always think in the same way. I don't really think that learning how to act "normal" removes the impairments. For example, I have almost no sense of rhythm. This is slightly problematic when I play the piano (I honestly can't count or even follow a metronome while playing, and I can manage it barely when not playing). I am usually able to wing it simply because I listen to Youtube, figure out how something should sound, then reproduce this sound. The problem is even greater when I have to play two different tempos in the different hands. This proves to be almost impossible for me, and only by an insane amount of repetition have I managed to get this right in some pieces. I am rhythmically impaired but have learned to cope with it, so I am no longer rhythmically impaired? I would disagree: if you give me a new rhythm to practice, I will still crash and burn and it will take me ages to get it right. So I'm still impaired, but it doesn't shine through all the time because I have managed to learn tricks which help me deal with it (also, it takes a lot more mind space to play the rhythms that I do know than other people).

I chose "I find it impossible to fake NT" however this is a bit missleading since I do not try to be NT..like ever.

I used to be the third option, till i went nuts.

I am probably one of those people you are referring to. I've taken the various linked quizzes and always score NT, but that is because those quizzes are slanted towards pinpointing social impairment. I can't relate to the posts about social impairment issues nor do I feel cut off from the majority of other people. There is not that sense of an impenetrable barrier that some posters describe. No social impairment= no diagnosis.

Nevertheless, there are non-social traits that I share with posters here and that they describe as being their autistic traits. I have special interests (pop music and science fiction) that sometimes startle other people in their intensity. I am pedantic. I require specificity and explicit instructions. At work I am the one with a Procedures Manual always on my desk and when people tell me things I transcribe to notebooks as quickly as they talk. Now and then somebody will say, "you don't have to write down everything I say. You'll remember". But I won't. My minor executive function impairment can be accomodated with extensive listmaking. My major dyscalcula can be accomodated with a calculator. I am not particularly athleticly competent so I exercise by walking or using exercise machines, neither of which requires athletic competence. I fancy myself as being logical and become quite vehement with those I think are being illogical, particularly in PPR.

All of that (except the dyscalcula) adds up to what the culture calls nerd. The term seems like a catch-all for those who skim the border of autism but don't have social impairments. Of course, it is entirely possible that I do have social impairments but they don't show up as long as I "stick to my own kind" (nerds). There are social groups I've never fit into at all and I don't have the faintest idea what to say or do, but finding social groups of fellow nerds to befriend (and marry!) and work with makes it a non-issue. I am guessing that the desire for "Aspergia" that some state is a wish to be able to do that. It's possible for nerds to do that simply by moving to a location that is nerd-dense. Since nerds exist in far greater numbers than Aspies, this is pretty easy to do.

Now that I have an autistic daughter, I can see how the things I've always called "nerdy" about myself are increased in her to a level that definately impairs her. I got a little. She got a lot. It's the amount of a trait she shares with me that causes her problems. For instance, I don't like change. The furniture doesn't move around my house. I don't redecorate. I wear the same clothes now that I did in the 1980's (being an LL Bean shopper makes this possible). I need advance notice of changes. However, she is far more averse to change than I am and will become attached to not only the furniture being in the same place but also the scatter of papers on the dining room table (never used for eating) always being arranged in the same way. I get annoyed at changes in routine. She melts down. The difference is in the intensity of the trait.

I picked this one:

I'm not actually sure how many social mistakes I make--because most of the ones I'm aware of have been explicitly pointed out to me...if they hadn't been, I would have thought I made a normal number of social mistakes (even NTs make social mistakes sometimes).

I only knew I was weird because people have actually told me all my life "You're weird." Some say it in a friendly way--others not so much (I'm not sure what the ratio between those is, though, because I don't necessarily notice when people are trying to insult me.) I didn't try to be especially normal until I was 19 or 20, because I had no idea how to go about it--but when I tried and thought I'd succeeded for the most part, I was told (coincidentally, by multiple people at work) that I was noticeably odd/eccentric and generally difficult to figure out....I wouldn't have cared except for the fact that I was teetering on the edge of a breakdown because the effort was so exhausting.



Thank you for posting this as an example--when I was a kid I had the same reaction to anything being moved. When I was 9, I think I alienated an adult-cousin who was staying with us because of a huge meltdown I had over her moving a piece of paper from our kitchen table....she stopped trying to talk to me. (Being left alone was fine by me, but in retrospect I can see the emotional significance of it.)

And that's exactly where I'm going with this. You're in the grey area between autistic and NT. Yet you consider yourself to be NT because you fit in with nerds. I think this really supports Callista's observation here:



If one is to consider the possibility of being an aspie, there must be a clear reason why. I really don't think most nerds are simply going to diagnose themselves as AS. For me, I always thought that I would fit in with other nerds. I tried that, and I can't. Even typically nerdy people seem too normal to me. I've never really fit in anywhere. That's why I consider myself an aspie. It's the only logical explanation for this, as far as I know of.

And that's why I say that maybe the line between AS and NT isn't as blurry as we think it is. It's primarily all about socialization and fitting in. Some people have a few aspie traits, but how many people here actually have what would be considered to be "mild AS?" That's a very small percentage. AS requires significant impairment, which most of us have.

The reason why some people consider themselves to be "mild AS" is because every time there's a video documentary about it, the symptoms are exaggerated. If most people didn't agree with me, I might reconsider my AS status. But it seems to be that the majority of WP users are just as good at socialization as I am, and have also found that to be true.

I must say I agree with SammichEater in that I've also found it difficult to socialise with nerds. I mean, I have a fairly nerdy hobby and yet I still don't feel at comfort with the people I meet there.

Yes, these would be people with BAP though, not mild Aspergers. Aspergers is Aspergers regardless of how you look at it, and that is an ASD.

I selected the second to last option.

Well according to them I am sure I 'need' treatment, but I am very stubberon and have made up my mind about seeking help from such professionals. I am starting to see that maybe my family is on to something with how they deal with things....it may need a few modifications but I can totally see why they all drink and such.

I went for option 3, like most others, apparently - I try hard, but it's very tiring, and I appear aloof and disinterested, struggling with involving myself in conversations.

Between the 2 and the 3. I can pass for an introverted NT almost all the time, but if expected to be sociable I can give a try but it exhausting.