hiding meltdowns

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I try to hide my meltdowns in public places. I can't stand up, for example, timed tasks at university, it makes me nervous, especially if I really care to do things properly. Sometimes my PC crashes, I make something wrong (and I have to repair it quickly) or even the weather is wrong (which used to destroy my mood completely, now I can cope with this). I usually do my task well, but it's extremely annoying. I start to swear silently (but I actually use my voice, so I don't know if someone is able to hear it), shake and bite my palms. Not sure if someone else does this. I'm really afraid that I can impulsively hit something or throw something, what I do at home in such cases. This absolutely will surprise lecturer and other students and will probably cause a full public meltdown.

However, I really don't show my meltdowns, my last public meltdown happened a few years ago. Now I limited my meltdowns to my private space. I can often lag my emotional burst so in the public place I feel almost nothing (except the scenario described above). I enter my home and it starts.

Generally I am very shy in public places and I usually hide in my inner world. I used to have meltdowns caused by sensory overload when I was a child, now I just give up and I suffer in silence. People are too selfish and pointless.
Now my meltdowns are mainly caused by changes and new things I'm afraid of or I can't cope or get used to.

I had my last public meltdown in spring 2010 and I'm still ashamed. My meltdowns are crying-and-speaking-ugly-things type. When I feel it's close, I try to get home as quick as I can. I can use any explanation to go away from public. Then I cry a lot, as much as I need. It's hard to hide crying, so I hate when anyone's home. I rock or hide somewhere. I'm going to buy heavy blanket next month.
When I am in public and it's impossible to get home immediately, I stim a lot (walking, rocking), squeeze hands, bite and scratch myself or something and try to avoid people. I am very rude this time, so I don't want problems. And I don't want to start crying ofc.