Verbal Irony: A question for NTs

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Well, it depends on your definition of neurotypical. I do not have AS nor any autistic spectrum disorder, but I do have a lot of other things, so I'm not anywhere near "normal".

As a recently self-diagnosed 54 year old, I have come upon the upsetting knowledge of verbal irony as a communication style common to NTs. In case you are an Aspie who doesn't know, this means saying the exact opposite of what you mean, but unlike sarcasm which uses changes in inflection to indicate that the speaker is being sarcastic, and means the opposite of the literal words, verbal irony is said straight-faced, so to speak. Just like the person was really saying what they meant. The listener is supposed to understand that the statement is the opposite of the spoken words by reading the speakers mind, I guess.

That's my question to NTs out there: How do you understand when someone is being ironic?? If you have AS children, friends, relatives - which I would guess you do if you are visiting this site - can you imagine how impossible it is for us to fathom this?

Now that I have come to an intellectual understanding of this form of communication - that it exists (and this was a shock) I wonder how many times in my undiagnosed life my meaning was taken as ironic and the person thought I was saying the exact opposite of what I meant!

Another question: How does this differ from lying? How do YOU know when it's irony and not a lie? Do other Aspies out there have experience with this? From what I have read, verbal irony is particularly common in the US.

All comments welcome.