Why do people dislike Aspies?

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Happy birthday BTW

One of the things I've had to work on is my superiority complex. No idea what your issues are.

I've seen issues with aspies viewing other's problems as not being relevant because they're not identical to their own - standard ToM thing. Taking into account what people say if they have suggestions to help you, even if you don't think that it'll help would drastically improve views in this. Especially if its actually trying to figure out whether there is anything relevant (which doesn't require ToM), rather than just trying to pretend you're listening.

We're different.
That's the top and bottom of it.

I used to monologue, mostly about music. I did eventually learn to control myself when in the company of others. As a kid and teen, I couldn't believe that it was possible not to care as much as I did. But I learned the signs of disinterest and boredom and curtailed. The itch to monologue is still inside me, but the internet may be the greatest monologue absorber ever invented. One merely needs to go to a review section of a website and then the only monologue control you need is to make sure it doesn't get into tl:dr territory.

I also happen to be lucky in that other people who share this need to monologue about music are numerous indeed.* I've had many conversations which were actually barely controlled monologue exchanges. There is a large nerd subculture devoted to it. The movie High Fidelity is about that subculture, of which I am a member.

So the skill I learned is to know that there is a time and place for everything and how to spot when you are in that time/place and how to spot when you are not and to accomodate that. Easier said than done, I know. Throughout my life I've had numerous faux pas on the learning curve to figuring out when people are bored out of their minds and are merely listening because I am otherwise harmless. I've heard many variations on, "ok......so now you've told me everything there is to know about that". Hopefully I am more careful now and haven't just become oblivious with age.

I am BAP(NT) rather than AS and have no diagnosis because I just have some traits. But one of these traits is pedantic monologues so I figured it was still relevent to this thread.


*Some of them are right here on WP. I've had some fine and fun post exchanges with other posters who share this interest.

Arrogance was definately something I had a problem with when I was younger. It took me a long time to realise that people don't actually like being corrected, even if I am right.

Often things come down to perspective as well, I have had to realise that I'm not always right, I just see things differently from other people because we all see things differently as individauls. I guess that's a theory of mind thing.

Queitness is also a problem for me. Often I have absolutely nothing to say. I can't just go up to people and start talking unless I have a reason. People are more drawn to someone when they see that the other person takes an interest in them as an individual and finds them interesting, however, this has to be balanced. If you ask too many questions, you can be viewed as intrusive and impolite. It's a balance that confuses me. I usually opt for the saying nothing option so that I don't offend, but then people think I don't like them and I see aloof and cold. I'm still struggling with this.

My friend's husband gets really annoyed with me because I averse to touch. I don't know why it bothers him so much. He's not my husband? Why does he need to give me a hug when he sees me. Apparently he's only being polite.

I used to be very over friendly which makes most people run a mile.
I believe that I've struck a pretty good balance on that score now though.

I think that my biggest fault is being clumsy and artificial in conversation.
That makes me an instant outsider and although perhaps not disliked; I would not be sought out by others.

I correct people a lot, even when it's probably not necessary. I also hold monologues and comment on things that are probably not very conducive to people liking me. And then there are the times where I say inappropriate things because I was unaware that a person felt a specific emotion that I should keep in mind.

Because they're a bunch of spoilt little perfectionists who think that we have some horrible illness and they don't want us taking over and contaminating their perfect little world of perfection.

I don't know if I'm disliked, because I have said to be a very likeable person by different people. It's strangers who seem to think I have no feelings, judging by the word ''idiot'' written across my forehead in bold red letters, and not even the thickest mask can cover it up (metaphorically speaking). I am a 21-year-old, and because I look younger than my age, I look like a teenage youth to other people who don't know me, and usually these days people are afraid to speak to or look at youths who don't know them (I've heard some awful stories about teenagers abusing people who were just trying to politely ask them to do something), but I get stared at and asked to do things all the time, so I can't look that youthful. So that means people don't respect me. Like when I'm on the bus, I get turfed out my seat by older people when it gets too crowded, but they don't ask any other young person to get up. So that's obvious that just because I look like a complete ret*d, people can think I have no feelings or thoughts. ''Oh, just get that big ugly girl to stand up - she wouldn't care being turfed out of her seats....even though she's looking nice and relaxed and settled there.''

I've getting f*****g pissed off being treated like a ret*d. See, this is why I hate Autism.

f**k Autism.