Japanese Culture

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My best friend is Japanese (lives in Japan; I only met her because she was an exchange student here last school year) and she is the complete opposite; loved talking about differences in our cultures, language, religious practices, histories, etc. And I know you said most, but I think that there are groups over there just like there are here. She's never wore makeup, and nor have I; yet in both countries teenage girls are typically portrayed as (by outsiders and those who live there) gossipy, make-up-wearing, and boy-obsessed. I wonder if the ratio of those types of girls to the more introverted, intellectual types in both countries is thrown off? Ratio-wise, are there more of those girls there in comparison to here?

Also, out of curiosity, how old were the girls you're speaking of? Teenagers?

I was speaking from my reference point of college age girls, so the age group was approximately 18-22. I went as part of a study abroad program. I didn't run into almost any "geeky" Japanese girls, though I did speak to a few who were interested in foreign cultures and different languages. Most of those I met as part of an English Conversation club I participated in. They were in the minority and all of the girls that I met cared a lot about the appearance. They dressed very nicely and I could tell they put a lot of effort into their looks.

I'm not saying that all Japanese girls are like that. Just, the ones that I met happened to be like that for the most part.

The ratio might be a little thrown off, I'm not sure. I'd assume it's about the same, really. But I think probably what happens is that those types of "fringe" interests are repressed a bit. Not exactly gone, but if you have a girl who is interested in other stuff, you are not likely to find out because she is not likely to tell anyone (because she does not want to be seen as different). Does that make any sense? The pressure to conform in Japan is very intense from what I experienced.

I am half Japanese and I must reiterate what others have said about indirectness. No one directly says how they feel and I am constantly having to guess at what people mean and how they feel about me or a circumstance. OTOH, I feel more comfortable in my home or in the home of other Japanese people that I know than around Westerners. There could be OTHER reasons why, though.

It is an extremely high-context culture. Aspies in Japan are often just as isolated and lonely as they are anywhere else.

If you study Anthropology you will find that cultures are often compared to each other as "high content" or "High context"

The Japanese culture is the Number on "High Context" culture. This means that they do not say what they mean and you have to infer the meanings from 1 of 1000s social rules. As an Aspie, this is the culture I struggle the most with.

The Israeli and German cultures rank 1 and 2 for "High Content". This means they say what they mean. (Period) I LOVE both these cultures and have lived in Germany. Israel is my favorite group to work with in business as an Aspie. I was talking the other day with a woman who is German and recently moved to the US. She was talking about how hard it is for her here with the higher "context" that we Americans have. For example people here will lie about liking another person's clothing to be nice. She said that was a foreign concept to her.

The ASD culture is IMHO the most high content, low context culture that exists and we thrive in those cultures that tolerate high content much better.

so were does american fall in this context people say americans are very direct but it dosent seem that way to me

From what I understood, she is saying that Germany and Israel are much higher on the "High Content" scale than the U.S. is. At least so far as she described, Americans are somewhere in the middle.

Here, a google search turned this up. It looks promising:
http://mqjeffrey.hubpages.com/hub/High- ... munication

And you would be correct. Anthropologists put the US or American culture almost squarely in the middle of all the cultures they compare. Japanese culture is number 1 highest Context and Israeli is number 1 highest content.

This is something that is quite prevalent in all asian cultures. In Japan as well as China the concept of 'face' or 'image' is dominant in the social psyche.

I lived and studied in Japan for a little while and yes, I did experience a fair share of vapid, bovine girls interested only in superficial things BUT in the last months of my stay I got to know some of these airheads rather well and it turns out that buried deep down there really was a smart and intellectually curious person.

I learned that because they are socially expected to be bubbly, cutesy, and dedicated they behave that way with their 'outer' circle of friends. Their 'inner' circle saw a different person: a more mature, smart and calm persona...the inner circle includes her own family. In public they were expected to be bubbly, cutesy, airheaded and I got the impression they also were supposed to be not concerned with money when it came to spending when in a group (it was like they couldnt 'show' they were unable to afford small things).

With her boyfriend (as I found out) they do show their true selves in private and only after a long while. The girl I went out with for 4 months went from my initial impression of a hot+sexy+cute girl+airheaded girl to all the above but SMART and wise (and definetely not airheaded!)

The thing that really freaked me out was how easily she would snap from one persona to another. When we were alone she was one persona...if someone walked into the room she would switch to the 'inner' or 'outer' circle persona depending on who walked in. In public and in large groups she was always the airheaded persona.

'I know you know, you know I know, we all know we all know so lets just all pretend none of us notices how false we behave because this is how we are expected to be' .... on a massive scale.

THAT is Japan. Once you realize its not really malicious and let the hypocrisy of it all not bother you..then you will understand them.

As a foreigner you get a lot of leeway on this social game though..and its a big advantage because once you catch their behavioral pattern its easy to manipulate them.

I know it sounds cold hearted but its true. I've said in several threads (posted years ago I guess) that if you're lost in a Japan train station and you see a lone person standing there and ask that person for help..chances are that person will ignore you or tell you he doesnt speak english and walk away. If you find a group of them..3 or more and ask that same person then by social rules ... their 'face/image' rules, the guy will not only give all the info you need but will also walk you to the train you need to catch.

If you're a foreigner and you're Asian though... you're screwed. I've yet to figure out the almost tribal rejection they have to non-Japanese asians. I saw one too many Korean girl snubbed and people ignoring she even existed when asking for directions at the train station...especially when she asked groups of people.

I've been Sonic X in both Japanese and English. I notice that the dialoug is basicaly the same but for some reason it really seems over exgeratted and annoying in the English version. Perhaps it's just a mix up in the translation, but they really seem to just get to the point and not pussyfoot around in the Japanese.

Yes, I think you make many very good points here.

Chances are my version is not all that complete because I did have a lot of trouble making friends. I was lucky to make the ones that I did. From your description, I think it is likely that I was not able to get past the facade they put up. I saw little bits and pieces of it, but I'm sure I did not get the entire picture.

If I were to go back to Japan, I would very much like to try again.

I agree with you and what everyone else has said. I lived in Austria and it was VERY easy for me to make friends and keep them. People there are very EXACT and I always knew how people felt about me. I still talk to my friends form Germany and they are always 100% honest with me. I think that is why I love it there more than America. It felt easier. People were honest, and yet the country was extremely clean. And there were set rules.

As for Eastern Asian culture... I don't want to sound rude but I hate it. I live in a large Asian community and I find their culture confusing. A lot of "obeying" an older person just because, which does not sit well with me. If someone is a year older than you, then you sort of have to listen to them. I don't like how indirect they are either. I dated two Asian men, one Korean and one Japanese and I NEVER knew how they felt about me. They would bottle things up. I hate how oppressive the culture is and sexist it is towards the women. As you know, S. Korea and Japan have one of the highest suicide rate--and it's for a reason. All of the repressing and ignoring of psychological problems leads to stress.

And as mentioned, the cutesy/aegyo s**t gets on my nerves and creeps me out. You're thirty years old and you act like a child--it's weird. Yea, they might be intelligent in the inside, but who cares? You're acting like you're twelve to show off your aegyo, it's annoying and my biggest pet peeve.

I'm an anthropology major BTW German/Austrian culture is still my number one.

Did you mean Israeli (and Germany) is number 1 *lowest* context?

I lived in Japan for nigh on 20 years. I'd agree with a lot of what has been written.

I've also lived in other countries, and one thing I've learnt is that the commonality of human nature (NT) is the overriding factor. Cultural differences are just behavioural differences - different ways of showing the same human nature.

I find living in a foreign country far more relaxing than living in my birth-country. I think other Aspies have found this too.

There are definitely aspects of Japanese culture that are searingly beautiful. Japanese people are the normal mix of humans though - with a wonderful sense of humor.

I kind of find "interested only in superficial things" to be kind of a judgement call. When I really examine the things I'm interested in, I find that they're pretty much "fluff" too. Listening to someone who is passionate about something I have little to no interest in can be boring, or (if the person knows how to communicate that passion) an interesting and educational experience. I try not to dismiss someone's interest in fashion, pro-wrestling, or reality TV; because if the right person is explaining why they find it fascinating, they end up giving me insight into the appeal.

On the other hand, I've met some people who try to come off as intellectual, but they spend all their time debating things that sound "deep" but have the philosophical and scientific value of "hey dude, what if everyone in the world were stoned."

Go to a mall frequented by 12-14yr olds and just listen to the subject of their conversations.

Now imagine that same thing but with 24yr~30yr olds.

I can understand small chat or 'for fun' chat but when they do this 24/7... well you get the idea.Remember though: this is their 'group/public' persona. Once you split one of them from the group and get to know the person they switch to the 'smarter' (for lack of a better word) persona.

I think the sweeping judgments should stop, however...