Autistics can't tell the difference between right and wrong?

Page 2 of 3 [ 43 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3  Next

Annmaria
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 Dec 2010
Age: 53
Gender: Female
Posts: 555
Location: Ireland

14 Aug 2011, 8:06 pm

we all known right from right, stupid or not :oops: . if someone needs help we help them yes :wink:
!


_________________
A mother/person looking for understanding!


TheygoMew
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Nov 2010
Age: 45
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,102

14 Aug 2011, 8:25 pm

fairie_child wrote:
Both of my parents were extremely abusive. They used to strip me naked and beat the crap out of me from toddlerhood to about age 8. They withheld food and medical care when needed. My dad often threatened to kill my pets. I told my mom that I'm not speaking to them anymore because of my dad threatening to kill my pets and that is really messed up. She is just really confused and doesn't understand why I cut off contact. She stood by and let her children get beaten and mentally and verbally abused. It's like she can't even comprehend that her children can feel pain. She still has a lot of trouble speaking, often using one word sentences. She recoils from human contact. She has trouble with eye contact.



Is this some kind of game? So both parents stripped you naked and beat you. Withheld food and medical care. Your dad threatened to kill your pets. Is your mother diagnosed with autism?

Perhaps your father is a psychopath yet you resent your mother the most. She has trouble speaking, using one word....sentences? Recoils from contact, has trouble with eye contact.

Maybe your dad the abusive one is threatening to abuse her yet you are on here pretending it's your mom's autism. I'm still not sure why so many new people are showing up trying to morph autism with personality disorders. Is this some kind of a game?

I do know that some sociopaths think people with aspergers get coddled where as the poor helpless sociopath has to do hard time for their crime when caught with no victim status so it seems to me like sociopaths are really trying hard to confuse people as to the difference between autism and sociopathic behavior.

Having autism actually enhances your morality not decreases. Where do you think STRONG SENSE OF JUSTICE stereotype comes from?

I'm not believing this story. How could you sit there and treat it as though it's all your autistic mother's fault and act as though autism is the reason for cruelty when in your profile you have checkmarked "other autism disorder". You should know if you are autistic yourself that having autism doesn't mean you don't know right from wrong.



buryuntime
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Dec 2008
Age: 86
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,662

14 Aug 2011, 8:45 pm

Quote:
Both of my parents were extremely abusive. They used to strip me naked and beat the crap out of me from toddlerhood to about age 8. They withheld food and medical care when needed. My dad often threatened to kill my pets. I told my mom that I'm not speaking to them anymore because of my dad threatening to kill my pets and that is really messed up. She is just really confused and doesn't understand why I cut off contact. She stood by and let her children get beaten and mentally and verbally abused. It's like she can't even comprehend that her children can feel pain. She still has a lot of trouble speaking, often using one word sentences. She recoils from human contact. She has trouble with eye contact.

I would say denial and dissociation. I don't think this has much to do with autism unless your father was also abusing your mother. You also left it ambiguous if you're mother was participating actively in the abuse.



Callista
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Feb 2006
Age: 41
Gender: Female
Posts: 10,775
Location: Ohio, USA

14 Aug 2011, 8:46 pm

Autistics do tend to solve ethical conundrums based on logic rather than emotion. But that doesn't mean that we're less moral; just that we have a different approach. We logically apply the exact same principles that the average NT has a gut feeling for--things like "Children should be protected" and "Stealing is wrong" and "People have certain rights". The "sense of justice" often referred to seems to be just that somewhat different style of ethical reasoning--the way we step back and think logically, "What is the right thing to do in this situation?" rather than going with what feels right. (The second has the benefit of allowing the person to make quick decisions, but is not as precise.) As far as ethics goes, autistics do tend to be somewhat more strict with both themselves and others, at least in some studies, but I feel this is something we need to research more because there really isn't enough data yet.


_________________
Reports from a Resident Alien:
http://chaoticidealism.livejournal.com

Autism Memorial:
http://autism-memorial.livejournal.com


CockneyRebel
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jul 2004
Age: 50
Gender: Male
Posts: 116,799
Location: In my little Olympic World of peace and love

14 Aug 2011, 9:26 pm

I'm more than able to tell the difference between right and wrong.


_________________
The Family Enigma


Ettina
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 Jan 2011
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,971

14 Aug 2011, 9:29 pm

My guess is your mother was abused herself and thinks every family is like that. That's nothing to do with autism - both autistics and NTs who were abused can have trouble telling abuse from appropriate behavior.



fairie_child
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 30 Jul 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 31

14 Aug 2011, 9:30 pm

I think my dad is a psychopath. I have no intention of rebuilding a relationship with him. He's been an alcoholic since age 12. It's creepy the way it satisfies him to hurt people.

I feel more conflicted about my mother. I don't know whether or not I can hold her responsible. She is not diagnosed, and probably doesn't even know she has autism. I have been semi-formally diagnosed with PDD-NOS. It's not her fault she has autism, but I don't want to be the parent of the relationship. If that's all I could expect of the relationship, then I don't want it.

I am an adult and living on my own. In childhood there was a CPS investigation of my family, but they didn't do anything. We should have been in foster care, but I couldn't speak well enough to advocate for myself. Instead of taking it as a wake-up call like most people would, my parents took it as approval that they weren't doing anything wrong and they got even worse.



fairie_child
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 30 Jul 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 31

14 Aug 2011, 9:31 pm

Ettina wrote:
My guess is your mother was abused herself and thinks every family is like that. That's nothing to do with autism - both autistics and NTs who were abused can have trouble telling abuse from appropriate behavior.


I think you hit the nail right on the head.



Tuttle
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Mar 2006
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,088
Location: Massachusetts

14 Aug 2011, 9:49 pm

It really strongly sounds to me that this isn't about autism, but about her being abused. When you're being abused you can easily start justifying why its your fault that its occurring. It's a dangerous trap to fall into.

In fact, I don't think anything you've said actually says for sure that she isn't only an abused NT. Mood disorders which can develop from abuse can show symptoms similar to ASDs.


Are your parents still together or separated? Where is she currently in life? What would it take to be in contact with her without being in any contact with your father?



littlelily613
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Feb 2011
Age: 40
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,608
Location: Canada

14 Aug 2011, 9:54 pm

AlbusSeverus wrote:
I'm autistic and I can tell the difference between right and wrong.


Me too!


_________________
Diagnosed with classic Autism
AQ score= 48
PDD assessment score= 170 (severe PDD)
EQ=8 SQ=93 (Extreme Systemizer)
Alexithymia Quiz=164/185 (high)


blondie
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 24 Jun 2004
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 369
Location: San Antonio, Texas

14 Aug 2011, 10:31 pm

I have Autism and I can tell the difference between right and wrong.


_________________
I am 21yrs old and have 3 younger brothers.
There are 4 aspies in our family, dad, me and my
two little brothers 16, 8.


League_Girl
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 27,256
Location: Pacific Northwest

14 Aug 2011, 10:54 pm

It depends on what you mean by right and wrong.

As a kid I couldn't tell because I learn the rules and kids wouldn't always follow them so I'd get confused. Plus anything I saw kids do I thought was okay but didn't know it wouldn't be okay at my age to do because I didn't understand rules were different for age groups.



AshleyT
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 28 Apr 2011
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 125

14 Aug 2011, 11:16 pm

fairie_child wrote:
My mom is autistic and it seems like she can't tell the difference between right and wrong even though she thinks she can. Is that typical of autistics or just my mom? She can't tell the difference between abusive behavior and normal behavior, in herself or other people. How do I deal with her? She can't be my role model. I haven't spoken to her in two years, but if I was to re-establish a relationship with her, what would it look like?


Giving examples may help us better explain her perspective on things and help you understand her. In addition, may be able to offer some advice as i also have a mother with aspergers :).



fairie_child
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 30 Jul 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 31

15 Aug 2011, 7:09 am

My parents are still together. If I decide to see my mom again it would have to be at a neutral location.

I don't understand my mom because she doesn't talk about anything. I don't really have any more information to give, because I've never been able to get anything out of her. She's never given me one word of advice about growing up. She's never told a story about her own childhood or my childhood. In the past I have questioned her about the day I was born, or my grandparents, or stuff I barely remember, and she just won't share anything. Therefore, I assume her language skills are just that undeveloped that she can't tell stories.

I just don't know how much I can expect out of her. Like I said before, I don't want to be the parent of the relationship.



MagicMeerkat
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Jun 2011
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,964
Location: Mel's Hole

15 Aug 2011, 7:24 am

Perhaps someone who was severly LF wouldn't be able to tell the diffrence. My biological mother is serverly LF...well at least she can't live independently and I had to be taken away from her and put in a foster home until my parents adopted me. Aparently she has no idea she has a kid. But if some stupid social worker ever got the inclination to put her on "The Locator" or some other show like that, I would refuse. If someone ever pointed her out to me and is all like, "Look, MagicMeerkat, That's your mum!" I'd walk up to her and say, "I don't know who you think you are, b***h! But you are not my mum!"

But anyway, most HFA pepople should be able to tell the diffrence.


_________________
Spell meerkat with a C, and I will bite you.


fairie_child
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 30 Jul 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 31

15 Aug 2011, 10:10 am

MagicMeerkat wrote:
Aparently she has no idea she has a kid.


That is very interesting. I have found myself questioning whether my mom knows she has children too. She knows in the very basic sense, but she thinks of her four children as four versions of the same person. She doesn't know us as people. She thinks of me as a certain way, and I have no idea where she even came up with it. She doesn't know who I am, as myself.

I remember even as a young child (about 7) thinking that my mom is just parenting in her head and isn't going to let me in on it. For her, having children and parenting is something that she does completely on her own, and the children are not actually a part of it. Which, now that I know about autism, makes sense.