Any other aspies feel this way about parents/ siblings?

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Fraya
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08 Sep 2006, 1:40 pm

On the chores topic Ill agree that you shouldnt give a child a free ride it will leave them unprepared for life on their own.. but taking it to the other extreme is bad as well.

For example my stepmother sat on the couch all day.. we cooked we cleaned we brought her food and drinks and she watched television.

Of course when my father got home from work (we wouldnt see him for weeks at a time) he would praise her on how good a job she does keeping the house clean and we werent allowed to say anything for fear of painful retribution (she tended to go over the top with punishment to the point of abuse). Then there was the lawn mowing which would normally be an ok chore.. except the mower weighed more than me and the yard was about 15 acres of trees and stumps.

Living with her was being a slave and at 27 years old I feel like an old woman with back and joint problems from abusing my body so badly for so many years with tasks no child should have to do (such as clearing 20 acres of forest, working a hand saw, dragging trees and tossing 6 foot sections on top of 15 foot piles, etc).

So doing your share of the small chores is good but large ones done alone build hatred for all activity and cause lasting physical damage :P


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BazzaMcKenzie
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11 Sep 2006, 10:57 pm

KenM wrote:
...My Mom I don't feel anything for. ... She says she loves me and does alot for me, but I feel she has to do these things because she is my mother, she has an obligation. She is not doing it out of love or wanting to do it, but because she feels she has to because its what society expects.
Any other aspies feel this way about relitives?


My mother visits every Tuesday (today), picks my kids up from school and cook and stays for dinner. I feel she does it to spend time with her grandchildren, rather than me. I can't recall her saying she loves me or hugging me (she is not AS) but I know if I asked for a loan of money she would gift it to me (she is retired on modest income).

My father (they are divorced for 30 yrs) would loan me money but want to know when he would be paid back. We never talk about anything personal and don't have anything in common. As a kid he seemed the more caring of my parents. I think my step mother hates me, but have no reason for saying so. She is a nice person. :? I see my father about 1x per month (usually just me and he forgets my kids birthdays) and I feel we meet out of obligation.

If I see my brothers any time other than Christmas its unusual.

Its nice to know I'm not the only one like this.

I think I am very lucky to have a loving wife and 2 great boys.

violet_yoshi wrote:
My sense is that perhaps you all feel like this, because your parents expect things from you. Rather than letting you be your own person and making your own choices, it's you have to do chores or you won't have freedom.... only born to be used like a packing mule.


Chores? What's that?
Apart from having to keep my own room reasonably tidy and walking the dog, I never had any chores.


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rpm2004
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11 Sep 2006, 11:19 pm

KenM wrote:
My Dad passed on when I was very young, but we spend alot of time together. I did love my dad. My Mom I don't feel anything for. She is just a person. She likes to guilt me into helping her around the house. She says I have to her out because she is my mom and she had a stroke. She says she loves me and does alot for me, but I feel she has to do these things because she is my mother, she has an obligation. She is not doing it out of love or wanting to do it, but because she feels she has to because its what society expects.
Any other aspies feel this way about relitives?
That's EXACTLY how my mom is she had like a million+2 health problems and she uses them to try and guilt me.Yes I do feel the same way as you about my family.


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