I enjoy being mentally ill!

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Jory
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20 Aug 2011, 1:23 am

Scandium wrote:

littlelily613 wrote:

I would not wish my existance on my worst enemy!

How about someone who bullies you because of it? Would you get them to feel what you feel so that they understand and stop bullying?

I've told many people around me that I wish I could push a button and switch bodies with them for five minutes. I've spent years trying to explain what it's like to be me, getting frustrated with my lack of ability to express it properly enough to make them understand, feeling depressed and angry at the simple fact that they just can't know. Five minutes, and they would understand. Not only would I wish it on a bully, I would wish it on the people I love the most.

LostUndergrad9090
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20 Aug 2011, 3:52 am

has happened to me too. nice feeling i must say. but only in certain mental states.

shrox
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20 Aug 2011, 4:09 am

I have never known any different.

alanj
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20 Aug 2011, 7:56 am

i found a short term manic state is quite enjoyable

a man told me he loved mania,

he said that if he could he would live on an island and be manic 24/7

however, as he lives in a society and is required to work, he acknowledges that his mania is a burden to his family and ability to work. so he chooses medication.

he looks back on his manic states as he would a lost friend.

i do not know how normal ppl get thru the day without illness, they looked so bored with life. every day is new and exciting for me

Locustman
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20 Aug 2011, 8:34 am

Phonic wrote:

I'm laying on the floor of my sitting room at 3 AM, the lights are off and it's pitch black, obsessive thoughts involving Post Traumatic Stress disorder and OCD like symptoms flood my mind. I'm stimming. I'm totally dissociated and there are butterflys in my stomach, my thoughts turn to the fact that I have not had an IRL friend in 10 years and I have not spoken to a girl my own age in 5 years. I have back pains and cramps from being underweight and possibly having an eating disorder of some sort, I am erratic - often laughing manically at nothing - laughing just to keep from crying. I fear for my sanity and fear leaving the house, I play the same peice on the piano again and again.. "Rosie Darko" in G minor.

And I think to myself; this is sort of Neat..this is great, I'm suffering, but it's like purgatory, I like this. These are mental states few people experience, and fewer still live like this for as long as I have - isn't that sort of cool?

So I'm in agony, and I'm enjoying it.

Maybe that's the most bizzare thing about me

And you? Do you enjoy it? I mean..nothings worse then being ordinary right?

Is there any chance you could introduce me to your dealer? Haven't come across any quality blotter acid in a few years now...

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Phonic
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20 Aug 2011, 10:07 am

Quote:

The person who made this thread is so weird, he probably watches ponies judging by his avatar, he is not normal. he isn't like other people..... and is so awesome!! !

made my day

Quote:

My understanding of this thread is at about 0%. Is this sarcasm?

No, silly goose

Quote:

Well... I'm not sure if "enjoy" is the right word for it. But I kind of get it. Understanding that your brain is different, and facing right up to it instead of trying to mimic the typical, does kind of affirm your identity. Like you're saying to yourself: I'm me. I exist. This is my life. Instead of going around worrying about how other people see you and how you ought to be, it's nice sometimes to just look at yourself with all the flaws and all the bits that are odd or that don't work right, and see yourself for what you are, without always being overshadowed by the "ought to be"s.

Ma'am, you partially get it.
Some people have a need to be out of the ordinary, if they are not then they feel as though they have no indentity. Hence I'm living this sort of self destructive lifestyle, I'm going no where fast, but at least I'm distinct, and some people..some unstable people perhaps..value that more then being happy.

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antonblock
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20 Aug 2011, 2:51 pm

Phonic wrote:

Quote:

The person who made this thread is so weird, he probably watches ponies judging by his avatar, he is not normal. he isn't like other people..... and is so awesome!! !

made my day

Quote:

My understanding of this thread is at about 0%. Is this sarcasm?

No, silly goose

Quote:

excellent post!

I think I can relate a bit.

It raises some interesting questions: Why want people be different? Who wants to to be more different? autistics? Why do people like suffering? Do many autistics like to do so?

My guess for the last question is the following: autistics are more introverts, i mean, they judge their actions according to their own values and reasoning, and not so much if they are conform with the expectations of others. So also if they suffer, but think its the right thing to do, the autistic takes this way.

greets,
anton

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20 Aug 2011, 9:36 pm

Scandium wrote:

SammichEater wrote:

My understanding of this thread is at about 0%. Is this sarcasm?

I think Makayla and Lucy were being sarcastic. I'm not sure about BottleCap.

Yes, I was being sarcastic.

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Callista
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20 Aug 2011, 9:49 pm

Oddly enough, I wouldn't get rid of my episodic depression, given the option. That doesn't mean I don't seek treatment--I do. It does mean that I think I wouldn't be who I am without those experiences.

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SammichEater
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20 Aug 2011, 9:52 pm

Phonic wrote:

The illogicalities within this post tripped my sarcasm detector.

It's great that you can enjoy it, but I don't think I would. It makes absolutely no sense to me.

Is this your whole point of creating this thread? Because mentally healthy people wouldn't "get it?"

Am I over analyzing this?

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20 Aug 2011, 10:29 pm

Don't really get it...I've never enjoyed having AS, depression, or ADHD. I wish I could make it all go away.

~Kate

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21 Aug 2011, 12:55 am

I enjoy being different...but dont enjoy it to the point that I suffer, but still find some peace within that.

I hate any kind of pain...emotional, physical.mental, social, etc etc etc. I am a bad buddhist.

Jojo

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Locustman
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21 Aug 2011, 10:17 am

Meow101 wrote:

Don't really get it...I've never enjoyed having AS, depression, or ADHD. I wish I could make it all go away.

~Kate

Agreed. If you enjoy being depressed, you probably aren't genuinely depressed IMO. There's a difference between full-blown depression and creative melancholia.

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21 Aug 2011, 10:32 am

I kind of get what your saying, I don't know that I would go as far as saying I enjoy being mentally ill, but maybe it is a human tendency to look on the brightside sometimes. I do not like sensory overload.....but I like being sensative to the energy of a thunderstorm moreso than a lot of people. I like that I can hear that slight buzzing noise when a t.v is left on but the screen is dark and it looks off.....so I can turn it off. And though I tend to have either regular anxiety attacks or PTSD related anxiety, sometimes if I start feeling bad in an area the feeling proves to be accurate and I am glad I got out of the area when I did. As for the depression it does suck, but I am so used to it I don't know what I would do if I became totally non-depressed. so yes sometimes there are things related to having various disorders that I enjoy but I do not enjoy it as a whole....because there is nothing that great about feeling bad so often.

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21 Aug 2011, 2:12 pm

I hate being mentally ill. The only part I enjoy is mania because then I am a lot more creative and get a lot done. I also feel too good about myself. Believe it or not during a mania I think my art is worth millions and I am going to be the next big thing! Who wouldn't enjoy that? Its when reality sets in (the depression) is when I suffer. I hate depression because it makes me feel worthless and hopeless. That is what I have the most. I also have schizoaffective disorder and wish it went away. I don't know if I would want to get rid of my autism or not. I think its because of my autism that I have talent in art. So, I don't know if my autism went away that so would my art talent. I don't like the autism though because everything overwhelms me. Especially noise.

dopplercb
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21 Aug 2011, 6:29 pm

while I would say I never enjoy my insanity, I rarely do anything other than take meds to make it stop. I don't really enjoy it, I have just become used to it.

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