Do you get tired of people? Is it just me or AS?
I get the same thing. When people are talking about nothing and expecting me to join in, I will be bored witless, very tired and often I will start yawning. I will be wondering why I am wasting time when I could be studying something that interests me or creating something. Or sleeping.
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Music Theory 101: Cadences.
Authentic cadence: V-I
Plagal cadence: IV-I
Deceptive cadence: V- ANYTHING BUT I ! !! !
Beethoven cadence: V-I-V-I-V-V-V-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I
-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I! I! I! I I I
Brainsforbreakfast....I ,for one,can never eat such a heavy meal early in the day...or do you only dine on NT brains?(Sorry,I just couldnt resist).....
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I'm about to be in my first social situation since I made this revelation about myself (being aspie or something like it). It will be interesting to experience it from a different viewpoint, a better understanding of where all my difficulty socially at least seems to be stemming from.
I'm notorious for trying to conform to what I'm "supposed" to be, but I find when I relax into what comes more naturally for me, my stress level drops so much. Like recently, I bought five soft polo shirts identical except for color, and the collar is nice because it keeps my lanyard from touching my neck. This was a few months ago. I knew people at work may notice that I'm cycling through the same set of clothes each week (I have two other comfy shirts that I throw in for variety), but I just don't care because I'm about to quit this job anyway. I've noticed a tremendous drop in anxiety both at work and in anticipation, or getting ready for work since I started cycling clothes.
I think the trick is finding that happy medium where you go to the effort to get along with people in doses that you can handle, but don't sacrifice to the point where it makes you really uncomfortable or stressed out. If you withdraw completely, then I think that's a recipe for a different kind of misery. I've always realized that the big social scenes like parties and bars were just a necessary evil for me to meet the occasional person that I really like and am willing to expend the energy to get to know. My preferred social situation is sitting in a quiet place, at home or a coffee shop perhaps, with just one or two people I really like and just chatting.
I can only stand to be around people for so long even if they are people I know or family before I start getting anxious and needing to get out of there. Leaving if only for a few minuts helps. The thing that I hate is when someone inculdes themself in my excuse and follows me. I just need some time to decompress and someone follows me wanting to talk.AAAGGGGHHHH then I have to come up with another excuse in a few minutes that precludes anyone following me.
I do ok so long as I can control my exposure to others but if I get put in the position that I can npt exscape when I need to then I get upset and start acting like a little kid That is so embaressing .
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I do not, for the moment at least, ask you to understand me. That will come only when you are willing to give up changing me into a copy of you.-David West Keirsey, PhD
Good point there Dalebert, about finding a happy medium.
I think it's common for people - NT and ASD - to want some personal space. If you confine a group of people into a small area with little privacy, crazy things are bound to happen. Look at Big Brother
That being said, there are times when I'm with people whom I like, but suddenly can't stand to be around anymore. It's like I've internally withdrawn back into my shell and I find it hard to interact. In the past, I've walked away from groups in the middle of an outing without saying a word of farewell.
It's the same with interacting with people in general. I'll have moments - sometimes lasting days, sometimes weeks - where I want as little communication with the outside world as possible. During these moments, I wouldn't answer the phone, answer emails or respond to IMs. The most I would do is post on forums, where I don't feel it's too personal because I can just post and leave, without being pressured into making a prompt reply if someone asked a direct question.
I don't know why exactly I have these urges. I guess the main reason might be security. I feel safer when the world is at arm's length, because it feels for me that I have sense of control over my environment.
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Yes, yes, yes. Often. On the phone, too. I just NEED to be alone. Then. Abruptly, for no reason. I'll get quiet and restless for a while, then unintentionally bitchy after about an hour of wanting to be alone and being unable to remove myself. Family reunions, hate them. I can't ever, ever get any time alone. I go off to a bedroom somewhere, someone follows me. My ex girlfriend lived with her mother for a while, who had this obsessive interest in us spending ALL OF OUR TIME, while in the house, in the living room. I was so miserable. I'd just want to go spend a while in the bedroom with a book or something, just silence, or at least aloneness, and she seemed to think I must be running a meth lab in there. Hated it.
hearing my own voice starts boring me after a while
and most conversation topics as well
i very often have something with me that i can do while talking (i have paper, pencil,
or needles and a marionette to create, or when there are many people and the action doesn't depend on me, a book, a camera and occasionaly my trumpet), it helps
Me: So how are you and your boyfriend doing?
Amanda: Oh I told him this morning that we were breaking up.
Me: So you decided you dont like him?
Amanda: No I do like him I just want to see if he gets mad.
Me: What? Why?
Amanda: Cause if he gets mad that means he really loves me.
Me: So your trying to determine if he likes you or not by making him hate you?
Amanda: Exactly!
Me:....
Amanda: You ok?
Me: You know this is the reason Im not allowed to buy piano wire anymore..
Amanda: Huh?
Me: Nevermind it wasnt important.
Later that day.
Me<answering phone>:Hello
Amanda: I told him I was just testing him now he doesnt want to talk to me!
Me: And?
Amanda: How can he be so mean?!
Me:...
Amanda: You there?
Me: <click>
Amanda: Hello? Helllooo?
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And one pill makes you small
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"White Rabbit" - Jefferson Airplane
XD @ Fraya's post. My goodness I can't believe she did that.
In regards to this thread, yes, I feel like that quite often, especially around my own family and extended family. I'm the only Aspie on my mom and dad's side of the family, so it's very frustrating to know that everyday I'm surrounded by NTs who have no clue as to what I'm thinking, feeling, and the logic behind why I think and feel the way I do. I'd rather them leave me alone and have nothing to do with me most of the time, really.
Taliesin-DS
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: 14 Nov 2006
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 34
Location: wezep/ Netherlands
I get the same thing, usually i just pretend i'm really tired from work, drunk (when at a party), or recovering from some illness and just need some time to catch my breath and i'll sit somewere were i'll not be disturbed for 10-60 min, and when i'm feeling better i go on with the social interacting or i go home.
To put it mildly, I hate people. Some days it's all I can do to get through a class because I'm surrounded by immature peers. It's better now that I'm on Lamictal, but it can still be bad. There are only a handful of people that I can spend extended amounts of time with, but I will eventually tire of them, too, and need to be alone. The closer I am with the person, the longer the time. I can be around my mom the most. For my small number of actual friends, I can spend anywhere from 2-6 hours with them, depending on my mood, but then, I need to get away. They just start to irritate me. I absolutely have to be by myself late at night and early in the morning. I have strange sleeping habits, so I usually stay up later and wake up before anyone else. All in all, if I'm forced to be in contact with people once I've reached my limit, I'll become very nasty or very withdrawn. Just the mere sound of somebody's voice that has an annoying inflection will set me off. Not good. Sometimes, if I have to go somewhere after I've just had a breakdown, people will notice that I'm very apathetic. "Are you okay? You're usually really excited about something and want to talk about it," this of course, being one of my fixations. As you can well imagine, living with a roommate in a dorm filled with squealing girls before I was diagnosed with Asperger's was not the ideal situation...
-OddDuckNash99-
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Taliesin-DS
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: 14 Nov 2006
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 34
Location: wezep/ Netherlands
That only proves once again that NTs are subhuman idiots.
No they're just from a different planet, with a different and very sophisticated way of interacting with each other. They understand this innately. Name-calling is childish behavior.
MAN, what a dumb saying! The NT male is almost like a female robin searching for the female! An NT female is almost like the male robin! All dolled up, and flirting(Male robins hop everywhere chirping and looking up to see if a female took the bait). Not very sophisticated at all!
The AS person is a bit myopic, and not always searching, not really looking into ones eyes, or sensitive to all that chirping. HECK, SOME of the chirping may have a negative effect.
Back to the NTs though. If it was SO sophisticated, and SO perfect, etc.... WHY all the disease, porno, sex aids, perfume, expensive dresses, etc....?????
Frankly, most women I think are possible good candidates are ALREADY married. I have some realtively high standards anyway. And ADMITTEDLY, my lack of looking directly at people, etc... and slow interpretation of some signals, is a handicap.
Don't call it sophisticated though. Far from it, it is a simple game.
Steve
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