If you Ever Lie . . . When?

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I lie to avoid confrontation. otherwise its pure unadulterated truth.

It is a rare thing that you find me lying in the conventional sense. I am dead honest with the majority of things that I say. I am more or less at peace with myself, and so I have no reason to lie about myself. If I lie, I usually do so to deny that I am not intersted in something, or that I do not know anything about a given topic, even though I could talk about it for hours and miles. That said, I know that I am really good at lying and manipulating, and besides being blind to sarcasm and irony, I'm a quite reliable human lie detector, since I notice small changes in pitch. breathing, body movement and posture. From what my doc says, though, many Aspies are.

I rarely lie. I am very honest but other people attacked me for lying when I am not. I admit that I sometimes joke around and sound silly though. That might appear that I am lying. I also exaggerate sometimes like saying when I am manic, "I am worth millions of dollars!" Of course that is more of a delusion rather than an exaggeration. I get delusional while manic. There is a major difference between lying and delusion. Lying is when you tell something you know is wrong. Delusion is when you actually believe its true but in reality its not. Major difference.

I lie if I'm very afraid of the possible negative consequences...Usually this means, in a situation in which someone says something akin to "You haven't done this or that (such as posting on an internet message board or the nature of my daydreams), have you??"

I lie when it suits my purposes. I'm just a tad manipulative
Or when it's simpler than explaining the truth and it doesn't really matter anyway.
Or when there's like a 0% chance of getting caught.
I lie kind of a lot, but I think I still tell the truth more than the average person.

There are two different kinds of situations where I lie:

When I wish what I was saying was true, so strongly that I convince myself of it. As a child on several occasions when I was in trouble for doing something and felt ashamed of doing it (instead of self-righteous and indignant) I'd bend my memory of it so it was slightly more justified. Sometimes I don't even know I'm doing this. I've been working on admitting the truth even when I don't like it, as part of thinking I should know & accept myself as I truly am. And because not admitting it hurts other people.

When the lie is an automatic phrase triggered by a certain situation. For example, when people say 'How are you feeling?' I'll often say 'I'm fine' without even thinking regardless of how I actually feel. I have to consciously hold back from saying that on those occasions when people actually care how I feel, such as when a doctor asks me that question, or my parents ask in the 'are-you-about-to-have-a-meltdown' tone.

When you voice your emotions, you let whats inside you out into the world. By telling your emotions to a friend, you are making your friend feel responsible for how you feel. This puts an NT in an awkward position, because if you are asked, "Having fun?" on a date or doing something, and you're having a TERRIBLE time because your feet hurt and you're crampy because you should NOT have eaten that funnel cake... Saying you're having a bad time makes the person you're with feel responsible for it. It's not imaginable that there is any other reason other than contempt for your partner that you are voicing a negative state. Even if it's your own fault that you wore new shoes to walk around a park or succumbed to funnel cakey deliciousness and you know that, voicing it to someone else puts it on them.

THAT'S when you NEED to lie. Or be more specific with the truth. If you are meticulous in your answer, most people will understand your true sentiment, even if you come off as a little strange. Or just say 'fine'.

'Fine' and 'Yeah' are the two biggest lies in any NT's vernacular. Use them well.

Other lies are just that-Lies. There are plenty of 'white lie' situations and places where it's easier to tell people what they want to hear, but in the adult world you are free to tell the truth and shouldn't feel coerced into doing anything. Say what you want to say. But lie about how you feel. That sounds bad, but NT's take responsibility for your dissatisfaction, even if they rightfully have none.

Well, sometimes people ask me a question, and after I answer I realize I misunderstood what they were asking. I think its due to not being able to process language fast enough + a bit of being to literal.
Technically it is lying, but its not intentional. Really awkward, and sometimes I worry that they'll find out I was lying, and I don't know how to explain.

I used to lie all the time when I was living in a harsh environment and with explosive people. Now I don't lie as much because I'm in Canada and have nice people around me. Right now I'd only lie for two reasons:

1. To not hurt people I care about

2. To save time and trouble from annoying people (like my mom). i.e. "Why didn't you reply to my email? (It was some forwarded urban legend thingy.) Oh I didn't check email today, very busy." "I called you twice, why didn't you answer? I wasn't at home." "Why don't you invite who and who over this weekend and host a party?" "Sorry, one of the kids is sick."

DH thinks I still lie too much, but he didn't have to grow up with my parents. I'm now lying about 1/10 as i used to. You gotta do it to survive when you're surrounded by people who are filled with explosives. I'd never lie about any important issues. The good thing is for aspie, once you learned lying, it's easy to do as you're not emotional about it or feel too guilty.