Understanding an emotion

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I'm an NT female and I've never been jealous. I've wanted things and been sad I couldn't have them. I've yearned. But I've never directed negativity towards those that have what I don't.

Actually, if you take social psychology classes they talk about Jealousy. It's part of our personalities how we view the things people have. It's this big complicated social issue but long story short it's a pretty equal group of people who don't and who do.

I don't even understand Jealous people. Seems like a lot of effort getting upset for absolutely nothing to gain.

So I avoid them. We should totally be friends though

i don't think i really have felt jealousy but i think my sister has who scores similar to me on aspie tests. so, there's that.

I think I am the same. I really don't get how some girls hate other girls simply because they perceive them to be prettier or thinner than they are. Guys do the same thing but it seems to be more about possessions than appearances. I don't get it either way.

I recently had a conversation kind of about jealousy with my SO, because of something that happened with another couple. When I thought about it hypothetically, if he came to be interested in someone else, while I'd be hurt, I think I'd probably just figure it wasn't my place to force something on him that he didn't want, and let him go. This apparently isn't the right answer.

Of all my emotions, jealousy is the most dreaded. It overwhelms me and consumes my mind.
It's an animal that can't be fulfilled except from within.

I suppose I don't feel it.

I don't want things just because someone else has them. I only want things I decide I want to have.

If someone has something I want I'm apathetic towards that. I get nothing out of them having what I want after all. I do however tend to get irritated if I don't have something I want and am constantly reminded of it.

I never understood or experienced jealousy until I was 26 years old, two years ago. I was hurt badly by somebody because -- as far as I have concluded -- I had been making them jealous without realizing it by basically being happy with myself and talking openly about the things I love and my accomplishments, and thinking others would just be happy for me -- wrong. Big fat wrong, sadly.

All I can say is if you don't experience jealousy, you're very lucky, but you're not invincible and should learn what it is. You MUST understand what jealousy is even if you don't experience it or understand it already. This is such a strong and negative emotion that is experienced practically universally by all NTs; if you know the story of Abel and Cain, you will know that people kill their own brothers because of it -- it's that big of a deal.

The root of jealousy is comparison. If you have AS and don't compare yourself to other people, that's awesome and shows great strength of character and independence. You must understand this however: most NT people compare automatically. If you tell them good news about yourself or something you have, they will almost always automatically compare you with themselves, then experience negative emotions associated due to the fact that you have something they realize they lack. Your good news becomes their bad news, your luck becomes their bad luck, your talent becomes their inadequacy. your intelligence becomes their lack of intelligence, your fun vacation becomes their lack of vacation, and it goes on and on. This tends to lead to competition / imitation as they will then try to obtain what you have. They will generally NOT feel happy for you. Yes it truly is as horrible as it sounds and I had to learn this the very very hard way.

Yes it's an ugly side of NT neurology -- being too much in tune with other people and having strong empathy means they essentially overempathise and start to think things you have are things they should have too. It's as if they have confused you for themselves; it's irrational but that won't stop them.

My best advice is to be very very careful about who you share your accomplishments, dreams, goals, etc. with. Instead of talking about yourself and the things you love and want, instead focus on them and help them get what they want. Always always consider yourself less than other people, and make this show when talking with them. Humility is a huge part of avoiding this on this wrong planet we're on. Be careful.