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diagnosis and "permission to injure"

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HK416N
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31 Aug 2011, 1:47 am

my empathy works fine.. thing is I am fed up with playing nicy guy so I fit in with jerks
never got any of those put effort in trying not to dmg me

why do it meself then?
for what for them? gave em enough effort alrdy, sod off



littlelily613
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31 Aug 2011, 1:57 am

I had absolutely no social life before diagnosis so I would say I am in exactly the same situation.


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littlelily613
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31 Aug 2011, 1:59 am

Also, I am more comfortable being the true autistic me wherever I am now; however, I never thought it was okay to intentionally emotionally injure someone. Sometimes it happens without me realizing it, but that has always been the case. While most of the time I cannot understand why people are "injured" if I say something to them, I still feel bad if I hurt people's feelings. So I don't feel like a diagnosis (either when I was self-dx or now that I am professionally dx) gives me permission to treat people poorly.


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EQ=8 SQ=93 (Extreme Systemizer)
Alexithymia Quiz=164/185 (high)


ValentineWiggin
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31 Aug 2011, 12:08 pm

guywithAS wrote:
thanks for the posts guys.

as i see people self diagnose with aspergers, i get the feeling in many ways it is to gain this "permission to injure". they no longer have to make extra effort in social interactions because there is a built in excuse.

if you're self diagnosed -- or even professionally diagnosed (like i was), i'd encourage you to be careful about how you handle this. just because they say we don't have empathy doesn't mean we have to act that way.


"They" never seem to say that NT's have no empathy towards US, which is quite-often the case.
It's hard for anyone to empathize with someone who has a radically-different way of being-
Autistics shouldn't be expected to "act" by virtue of being not in the neuro-majority.
For those of us who are self-diagnosed (I was, prior to seeing a psychologist) it wasn't really a "choice" on our part.
We simply recognized that we met the criteria (an apparent lack of empathy not being one).


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Wayne
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31 Aug 2011, 1:56 pm

Quote:
as i see people self diagnose with aspergers, i get the feeling in many ways it is to gain this "permission to injure". they no longer have to make extra effort in social interactions because there is a built in excuse.


That's assuming that the extra effort in social interactions is needed to avoid "injury" as opposed to avoiding being looked at funny.

Some social rules are necessary to keep interactions from degenerating into conflict. Others are just there because most people are used to them. One thing we have to learn is how to tell the difference so that we can direct our "fitting in" efforts where there's the most payoff.