Why do some women suddenly bring up that they have a bf?

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Or she could have been joking about her bf. If someone in the class has kids they might have said kids cause them stress, not altogether seriously. Usually people chuckle at such answers.

If a guy said the same thing about his girlfriend in front of me I wouldn't give it a thought. It's probably happened at some point and I've completely forgotten about it. Most folks who have someone mention it at some point.

Heck, women have mentioned their boyfriends to me and I am a straight female so I have no interest in them whatsoever. It's just a habit people have. They mention significant others, kids parents, friends. Brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, cousins. Sometimes bosses or teachers. People like mentioning stuff and may not even be doing it for any other reason except to babble.

In my experience, when I think I don't like someone and yet I always notice annoying things they do, I actually do like them on some level. Generally we still genuinely don't have enough in common to be meaningful, but it's something to keep in mind.. or else you may find yourself 'suddenly bitten'

a woman will tell you she has a boyfriend because she thinks you are hitting on her. men and women can't be friends. i'm not even going to read your post as it looks boring (am i allowed to answer when i've only read the subject? sorry if i'm not)

Well Knifey if you only read the title...you obviously didn't read the part mentioning that I wasn't hitting on her and that I am not interested. Let's just say she was joking and drop it.

If I bring up my boyfriend, its not because of trying to make any statements, its just that he's relevant to what I'm doing. I might pause because of the fact that I'm figuring out what I'm saying, and my brain is ahead of my mouth.

Though I think more often I personally just say "we" and eventually someone asks, its mostly just a habit and the fact that he is involved in these things.

You might just be overanalyzing.

When I was a young woman I wouldn't have thought much at all about all these "personal" stuff. To me it sounds like she's just joking. Although I might think her BF and her have argued recently or something, so it was a fact. I mean if anybody ask me about my stress in life I'd have said my parents, and that's not a joke, just honest answers. If I had a BF who was stressing me out I'd have said BF, without thinking about how other guys might interpret that.

I thought aspies are supposed to interpret things literally instead of thinking too much?

Your question is; Why do some women suddenly bring up that they have a bf?

It really depends on the individual but probably two reasons are likely,

1. The B/F is the centre of that girls universe, you'll find if you talk to a mother they will mention their children in conversation as well. I think this is quite natural, try putting yourself in their shoes, if they speak in a social context then why is it surprising they mention their B/F first.

2. Sometimes girls are unsure of their relationships and they like to mention their B/F to gauge what other people think of their specific situation i.e. "I have a B/F and he never wash the dishes"....is this ok...or "he and I went to the art gallery and he's really into Picasso" - once again she's testing the water, is it Ok to like Picasso? is my B/F strange or does he compliment me?. Often this is done unintentionally and is just a reflection of what's going on in the girl's head.

Girls are really not so insecure that they have to mention they have a B/F simply to throw off a guy who is just making conversation. But it can come in handy if they are being subjected instense interest, believe me most girls know when they are being "checked out"

It's very likely she assumed the OP was sitting in that seat to be next to her which would explain the random boyfriend comment immediately thereafter. I've sensed women are usually assuming this in various other instances such as using cardio equipment right next to them at the gym. This thread is just one of many examples.

Ahh context...
gym
disco
nightclub
bar

Of course...

College is a stereotype of that too right?

Yes, it does sound like something that would be said in pickup settings, where girls feel the need to make the point of saying they have a boyfriend. If they don't say they are lesbians, that is. It's upsetting because it makes the assumption you are hitting on them.

It could have been that really doesn't think she's 'hot stuff' at all and wants everyone to know about her boyfriend to be more secure in her identity as someone worthy of love. She may have been, before she met her boyfriend, one of those people chronically convinced that they would have stayed single for ever. She may have seen you as 'friend-worthy' and wanted to share her happiness, "I have a boyfriend...I can't believe it!".

Either way, if you actually tell her 'I wasn't hitting on you!', there is a likely chance she'd say 'Really? I didn't think you were...' and you'd look like kind of an egotistical ass for assuming it was that way, if you don't mind me being blunt.

I would say ignore it and be polite unless she decides to hit on you anyways regardles of the relationship status, then you'd have a problem.

mmmmm....... i guessed you would say that. still doesn't make a difference to my answer. i have met more than one girl who interprets "hello, how are you" as hitting on them. because they don't want male attention unless its romantic. this is not a weird way for NT girls to be, it's common (though i think, a bit conceited)

edit: also less common is she just wanted to see if you had a girlfriend so you could talk about your S.O. because that is a topic of interest to her and she wants to have a b***h session. but usually you say "my boyfriend did such and such yesterday" which is a more subtle way to bring it up.

edit:edit: also just because you aren't interested doesn't mean you weren't sending signals that usually indicate to NT's that you are interested. if you are an aspie sometimes these kind of accidents happen when signals are too subtle for us to notice sometimes we accidentally send them anyway.

I once had a woman interested in me. She'd come up and start conversations with me and she was pretty. Being a decent looking guy with AS, I figured "what the hell" and asked her out. She seemed surprised and said she'd like to...maybe. Whatever. She comes back around later and says "I'm so sorry, I'm not used to guys asking me out. I'm seeing someone but he lives out of town, so I dont know if its gonna work but I would LOVE to have coffee sometime. Just give me a couple of weeks or so to see."

I'm thinking "wow she sounds interested afterall!". But...a couple of weeks later her douchebag boyfriend moves to the area. They walk around me holding hands, etc. So I'm still running into her though where I work all the time. I just act friendly, but I don't ask her out anymore. Obviously I can see things worked out with her and him (I have eyes), so I let it be.

So anyway we keep saying hi to each other, but one day a kid was playing with an interesting toy. We both saw it, so I said something like "That's a prety cool toy eh?".

The first words out of her mouth were "My boyfriend had one kinda like that when he was little".

It was SO OBVIOUS she just wanted to inject "My boyfriend" into ANYTHING I brought up to her. I just kind of looked at her and said "Oh yeh...that's nice". Then I walked away. I was visibly disgusted. I was NOT approaching her anymore asking to go out. I saw FULL WELL she was with someone. I'd said hi to her MANY TIMES after seeing her with this guy, and NEVER asked or even HINTED about going out again.

And yet she STILL felt the need to say "my boyfriend". Cmon, there was absolutely NO NEED to bring him up yet she did. I found it to be pathetic on her behalf that she would.

What's REALLY annoying is this woman brings me food sometimes, or does other "nice" things for me yet will pull the "My boyfriend" thing out of her butt. In other words, her bringing me stuff is not because she likes me, but rather she feels a sense of "pity" for me. I feel like telling her "b***h I should be feeling pity FOR YOU, not the other way around. I'm too good for you, honey". And I really AM too good for her.

She's a little twat. It's more than just a bit annoying. So now, I try to avoid her. And if she ever does break up with this guy, she can go look somewhere else for a date. Because the first words out of my mouth will be "My girlfriend...".

Last edited by johnnydangerous on 26 Aug 2011, 12:34 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Exactly. It makes you feel like s**t. Like God forbid you say hi to them because they are "so hot" and the only reason you are talking to them is because you MUST be hitting on them, or want sex. It CAN'T be that you're just being friendly. Nope.

It also gives you a peak into how they feel about themselves. When a woman says "My boyfriend" randomly, and it seems forced into the conversation, she thinks very highly of herself. And that's not someone you want to be with.

Even if a woman seems sweet as pie, if she pulls the "My boyfriend" crap out of her rectum, she's a total loser in my book. You don't use that card unless the guy asks you out or is flirting with you in a sexual way.

And by the way OP, you think that girl would have brought up her boyfriend if Brad Pitt bumped into her in the street? s**t no. The words "My" and "Boyfriend" would no longer exist in her vocabulary, even if she really did have one.

because they have "swallowed" the fact that they have a "boyfriend", and they are now sick because of what they "swallowed" and they emotionally regurgitate (bring up) their "boyfriend".

"who knows?" is a more intriguing question, but still not intriguing enough for me to spend any more time considering.