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Girls, Girls, Girls.

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TheWingman
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03 Sep 2011, 6:35 am

jumanji wrote:
Let me change the scenario a little bit on you. I can ask girls questions about themselves all day long. One of the problems is that usually, we still don't "connect." I ask a question and they answer it. They may or may not ask a follow up question. But then there's the pause (somewhat awkward but not unbearable). Then I ask another question. Answer then I may comment with something relevant. Then another pause. It's like turning the key in the ignition of a car and hearing the engine start and then die. Start then die. Start then die.

What I am looking for are tips on how to keep the motor going.


- look people in the eyes. At first that gonna be hard but within a couple of weeks you can be good at it.

- Enjoy the contact! Enjoy speaking to her, looking at her and listening to her. Then even if she goes away, you'll still ahve a good moment with her.

- Be true. If you are an Aspie, just be one. Actualy very so called aspies are actualy not. You might have a peculiar way of thinking, just display it. She could love it. You have no idea how NT are bored by the lack of originality of other NT. Be proud- of what you are, she will love you for that.



jumanji
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04 Sep 2011, 5:14 pm

Thanks for the comments. Many of them have been helpful. But if you wouldn't mind, I'd like to get even more specific
and then ask what you think.

I always make good eye contact (but not so much that it would be creepy), I can ask questions and on occasion they will start talking but sometimes they will only give me a brief response. I can ask another question but if the response is brief again, I don't want to get into a awkward game of 20 questions. Sometimes I will comment if they look bored or if they gave someone a mean look I can ask why etc. and we will be able about their feelings. But the times when that works are rare.

I know that there is no magical formula for being able to do well socially with women all the time (in fact, its impossible). But the impediments resulting from my Aspergers make it very challenging to do more with more than 1 out of 10 girls. Whereas I'd estimate the average NT can do it about 70-80% of the time. Yes, I do appreciate those 10% that I can socialize with. But, with the people I'm surrounded by (that I want to be around), that's just not good enough.

SUGGESTIONS, HELP PLEASE.



jumanji
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08 Sep 2011, 7:06 pm

Still hoping for more responses.



OJani
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09 Sep 2011, 3:19 am

***sigh***

I'm planning to go hiking with groups (hoping for higher "nerd" proportion), and change my internet dating profile to look more autistic... It has been less than satisfactory so far.


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Helixstein
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09 Sep 2011, 3:59 am

Well, I'd suggest initiating an academic conversation with these people relevant to their studies at University; mind you, I am that sort of fellow that people seldom to talk to due to all of my discussions being too academic.


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