Does life not mean as much to NTs?

Post Reply New Topic

I also have this sense of wonder. When I go for a walk, I see people as individuals minding their own business, the trees and flowers, people walking their dogs, children running and playing and punk rockers with their coloured hair. I don't see road rage or graffiti. I guess that one could say that I'm a Wonderboy.

Sorry, we sometimes forget how anti-NT this place can seem. I think we figure that the benefits of being NT are so obvious that we need to point out the down sides as well. But I'm glad NTs post here as well. Variety is good.



As far as I can tell, four out of five NT interests and desires are based on socialising. I Googled "most popular hobbies":
1. Reading - all the most popular books are about groups of friends or about forming relationships (Harry Potter, Twilight, Jane Austen, the Brontes Lord of the Rings, etc.). Sure, other books exist, but four out of five times they are social.
2. Watching TV - about socialising: Friends, Seinfeld, Sopranos, etc.
3. Family time - not something you can do alone.
4. Going out to movies - usually an excuse to be with friends
5. Fishing - this is the first solitary activity on the list (though it can be with friends, or can be competitive). It is usually a male pursuit. Aspergers has been described as being hyper male (as men are more likely to be loners) so I see this as where men discover their inner Aspie
6. Computing: and what is the most visited site? Facebook.

And so the list goes on. Four out of five items focus on socialising. I think it's just how NT minds work.

"Life" is rather a broad category. I don't think it's possible for an interest in every single aspect of it to fit in a single human brain. And so we all pick and choose which aspects to be interested in. Probably our neurology affects those choices. If one person is interested in the aesthetics of surroundings, another is interested in socialising with friends and a third is interested in math, they are all interested in "life", they have just picked different aspects of it to focus on.

Each of those three people will think the other two are missing out on something. And all three are right to think that. But that's how it must be. We all care about life (regardless of neurology) and we all must choose which little corner of it to focus on and which to ignore. That's the requirement of a limited capacity brain (is there any other kind?) and especially of a limited lifespan. There's one thing we all have in common regarding life and that's that there isn't much of it for each of us. So you take your little bit and focus on what you have chosen to focus on but remember that other peoples' points of focus are just as much "life" as yours.

I like things what are to do with being social, and I'm an Aspie. I get obsessions over certain people, I crave sexual attention from men, I enjoy going to the cinema or bowling with other people, I write stories and draw pictures of people and what they're doing in their lives (most of it is about socialising), and I like watching films what involve social interaction.

From my perspective, it appears as if Neurotypicals need the approval from other NT's if something is worth getting worked up about, be it good or bad, and the direction their emotion should go towards. For most NT's watching a newscast they will usually set their emotion to the emotion conveyed by the newscaster in their reporting of the story, not on their own thinking about what they have heard. This also works for face to face conversations too...watch how when teenage girls are chatting about something that when one girl gets excited about something insignificant, the other girls will reply with the same emotion almost instinctively, without even placing any thought process into what they just heard. This appears to be even the way trends and fads start, and the core reason why advertisements work as good as they do. I am convinced that without the emotional input of other NT's, a neurotypical person will not enjoy life because they will have nobody around them to tell them what exactly is enjoyable, or even give them any emotional highs and lows of life.

Aspies tend to form their own opinion on things based on their stronger sensory levels and the way they process that data through logical thinking, and from there, can enjoy life on their own, without needing others because they make decisions on their own more, and not with the approval of others.

I can walk down a street...any street, in any city, or any suburb, and observe all sorts of things that interest me. I will notice the architecture of the buildings and houses and find something simple about them that is just totally cool. I can smell the smells of food cooking in diners. I may spot a rare automobile driving down the road, etc. This also works in the natural world too....I can sit in the woods for long durations just observing the varied species of birds and other animals, look at the way a tree grew over a rock, or whatever it may be. When I express my observations with an NT, the response is typically meh... They have not had a whole clan of people to tell them how fascinating it is that a tree grew at a curve to capture light shadowed by a rock, or whatever the observation may be.

A perfect example of this was when I was disassembling an old VCR helping an NT friend get it back working. I told him that it's amazing the way these things work and the way they are designed with all the moving parts. He seemed totally disinterested in my fascination with the inside of the deck, and went on watching TV after only a short glance at what I was doing. A short while later, one of my aspie friends came over with some parts for the deck he picked up for me. He stayed a few minutes and helped me install the parts. He had never seen the inside of a VCR but when he saw it work he said "Wow, those things are cool inside" Now, with two people giving a positive emotional response, my NT friend then came over and looked at what we were doing and now reacted in the same manner. The NT friend now gave more interest saying "There's all sorts of stuff in there moving around, that's pretty neat"

That is not always necessarily true. It can be true, but as people get older they do develop their own minds. Maybe teenagers treat everywhere they go and everything they do as some sort of social area. But as people get older, they do go their seperate ways. Remember, if you meet one NT, you've met one NT - all NTs aren't completely the same. When I was on the train with my family, my auntie was observing nice houses as we passed them, and she saw one and said, ''that's a nice house.'' And my mum (she likes houses too) said, ''naa, I'm not keen on the wooden steps. I prefer the one we saw earlier.''
So not every conversation involves having the same opinion. They can be, but not all the time. How do you think conflicts happen between NTs?

Battles for territory.

I am not a psychologist, so feel free to shoot this down in flames, but I listen to a lot of conversations between the women at work, and it is all about status in the group.

Why do people disagree openly? An aspie would keep quiet - aspies are happy for others to have different opinions, that does not matter to them. But to NTs, differences matter a great deal. People disagree, as a way to test each other. To see who is smart and who is dumb, who is dominant and who is submissive, who thinks like you and who does not. It is all about finding your place in the group and (in verbal sparring) gaining status.

An aspie is happy for 1000 people to have 1000 different opinions, and has no need to tell someone they are wrong. But for an NT those differences matter because they define both group boundaries (people who agree with me) and status within the group (who can get the other one to back down).

I think that is why NTs like to chat, including disagreeing, and aspies like to keep quiet unless it's their specialized subject. It's about group dynamics.

It makes sense if you think about it. NT's have better sensory filters, so they don't experience as much of the world. The less that is experienced, the less importance it holds (typically).

I think NTs care about life, they just have a different idea of what 'life' is.

I have the opposite problem sometimes, though I think it comes from the same roots. Whenever I disagree with NTs, they think I'm arguing even though I don't feel argumentative and I am not trying to persuade them of anything. I think this is because they feel like they're arguing with me because they're used to arguing whenever they disagree.




I think you're right about them having better sensory filters, but I think in some ways the filters help them appreciate things more because sometimes when I get sensory overload I can't appreciate anything. Other times, though, I feel like the NTs are blind and can't see all the beautiful leaves on each tree, the contrast of the sky with the green, etc. that makes life so special.

Is this post a test? Disagree with it and you're not an aspie?

Anyway, you're wrong. Check out PPR.

It would not be the first time.


The French retail company? The brain tumor foundation? The only PPR acronym I can find related to autism is "Puzzle Piece Ribbon", an awareness raising device. Is that what you meant?

As far as I can tell, the message of PPR is "everyone is different, therefore we are not different." That is not my experience at all. But I am not sure what you want me to check out.

It's the Politics, Philosophy and Religion subforum of this place.

NTs do have the same sense of wonder and intensity as aspies do, they just focus it in on different things. The same sense of excitement aspies have towards relatively arbitrary objects or subjects is the same excitement that NTs have towards relationships, people, fame, wealth, good conversation, sensory pleasures, emotional experiences and status symbols. There's also natural variation in the amount of excitement/wonder that a given person experiences, and this is true among both aspie and NT populations.

Ah, now I understand. That forum has disagreements, therefore aspies like to disagree. I agree.

The aspies I have known have not liked to argue. I don't either. It doesn't make any sense to argue when (1) a question is ambiguous, and (2) one has poor social skills. I therefore concluded that aspies in general don't like to argue. It appears I could be wrong. Thank you for pointing it out.

I often hear people commenting on objects, facts, animals and sights. I know a lot of NTs who hate people. I'm not saying all do. But I don't think it matters on whether you're Aspie or NT. It all depends on the person and their life circumstances. For example, people with lots of money and confidence will probably think that socialising and meeting more and more people is the most important thing in the world, and money and people are just all they base their lives around. Poorer and unconfident people, like myself, don't take life for graunted so much, and so will appreciate whatever small details life brings. A lot of relatives of mine aren't very confident and are just financially average, (therefore, poorer than rich people) like to see the seasons change throughout the year, whilst rich people OR people who are more socially motivated and have a very wide circle of different friends whom they like to spent most of their time with, probably only like the summer because of the lighter nights which enables them to socialise more and hang out more or whatever they choose to do with their social lives. But this may not be the case for everybody - this is just an example.

Like I said, it depends on the person really. I think kids these days don't know they're born though. They're more spoilt, and schools close at the drop of a hat (like over a bit of snow), and a lot of young people these days (not all) scrounge about on benefits by having kid after kid before they reach 21, or get dole money but not bother to look for work, so that they can just muck around with their friends and have money to do social activities and not have to work. Don't know about you, but that's what it's like around where I come from. Again, this doesn't apply to every young person - it really does depend on the person. It ain't just about splitting NTs into one group and Aspies into another. People are different, and lead different lives. It all depends on an individual's finances, confidence, ambitions, personality, desires, interests, the list goes on.