Daily Chores/Cleaning . . .

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I have been trying to keep myself on routine to only do a few jobs like dishes and one load of laundry during the week and vacuuming, sweeping, bathroom cleaning, etc. to Saturday afternoons only. If anything interrupts my routine, I find it hard to "catch up" and it ends up being postponed until the following Saturday (so of course, the chore is twice as bad by then!).

I cannot stand doing dishes. Find it such a waste of time and boring. For the past year, I have been listening to podcasts or a book on my iPod so at least my mind is entertained while I do the mundane chore(s) of the day. If I am listening to a very interesting book, I will almost look forward to the chore because then I get to listen to the iPod. I keep it exclusively for housecleaning only.

I can do it if I am in a situation where I can post a calendar on the refrigerator. Then I can divide chores into short, 10 - 15 minute tasks and parcel them evenly throughout the week. This generally keeps the house pretty clean with only a few tasks being required each day. Unfortunately, if my schedule gets out of whack and I'm unable to keep up with the routine, everything piles up as you describe. It also bothers me if there are other people living in the house who refuse to use the schedule. I know I shouldn't let it bother me and I should just go about my own business, but when I end up doing all the housework, it really gets to me, especially when they won't wash their dishes after they've cooked dinner, so I end up avoiding doing it, too. Recently, the house got very dirty -- so dirty that my housemate couldn't stand it anymore and actually cleaned, so I'm trying to keep it neat again by doing small tasks every day.

Bills used to be easy, since I just scheduled everything for automatic payments through my bank. However, I had some financial issues last fall and lost my checking account, so I can't do that anymore. Now, it seems like I'm always rushing somewhere at the last minute with a bill and paying late fees. I also found that some credit card companies will prey on people who just set everything to automatic payments, by changing payment due dates or minimum payment amounts so that the scheduled payment is either late or not enough to cover the minimum. That's why I no longer have credit cards, other than a prepaid Visa.

These are the same issues that make it so hard for me too! I always complicate things and turn a ridiculously simple task into a huge ordeal -- Then all that thinking and brooding over it just makes it worse! And my biggest issue is just remembering to use the To-Do list! I have a grand old time making the list but after I write it out it may as well not even exist! I employ the same kind of little tricks that you mentioned but sometimes it's hard to even remember to do those.

If only I had the extra cash to hire a cleaning person to come at least once a week! That would make life so much easier.

The only solution that I found was to do them as soon as I got home from work.

If I "settled in" first they never got done.

Same here. It has to get real dirty before you can clean it first right?

I also tend to let the dishes form an extreme tower before I deal with it. I hate dishes and cleaning. Usually it is because I have so little energy, that it seems like a waste to use what energy I do have on something so menial.

However, I have found that if I decrease my anxiety the chores are slightly more tolerable.
If I listen to my favorite hypnosis mp3 for theta waves in the brain while I do the dishes, I am much happier and less annoyed by the task. Also I think it helps to have the dishes noises muffled out by headphones.

One other thing is that I recently discovered that I have reoccurring spikes of anxiety and panic when I stand at the sink to do dishes because of this glass window in the door next to the sink, where I can see out the door, down some stairs, and out another door with a glass window to the outside. It triggers a huge amount of motion in my peripheral vision and makes me jumpy and scared. I had no idea this was adding to my feelings of needing to avoid the dishes. The only thing I can do is cover up the window so it doesn't scare the crap out of me every time a leaf blows by.


Hope that helps!

By any measure, I would (overall) be considered very high functioning - possibly don't qualify for a diagnosis, even, although I have enough traits and issues that I'm undoubtedly somewhere on the spectrum.

Despite this, it is impossible for me to live on my own and maintain anything like a normal standard of living. I get obsessed with some activity and ignore the things I need to do, or I start projects and never finish them, or take a whole day to do something that should take half an hour (although it's done perfectly when I eventually do finish!), or . . . well, you get the idea.

Cleaning is absolutely the worst area for me. I just don't notice that things need cleaned - until it's bad enough to constitute a health hazard. Then I go on an exhausting cleaning rampage, not stopping until I pretty much drop. Then, over the next couple of months, it deteriorates to the same appalling condition again, prompting another round of binge cleaning.

I have absolutely no suggestions for dealing with this problem, other than having someone to remind me (you) what needs done, when.

Binge cleaning... that's very true.

My whole family struggles with this. I've recently been in therapy for anxiety, and I've realized my anxiety is mostly over two particular executive functioning problems I have which tie right into my ability to maintain our house:

1. Task initiation (let's face it - don't most of us do reasonably OK once we're past the whole "getting started" bit?) Sometimes I invite people over just to have an outsider initiate the reason for the cleanup (don't ask me why it works, but it does - even for NTs) I also post photos of my cooking projects online, sometimes knowing other people might see is enough to get me started. I just have to be careful that I don't wind up in a Hyperbole and a Half shaming spiral.

2. Following steps in order. I NEVER do this. I realized that my high levels of anxiety are due to the fact that I skip a step nearly 80 or 90% of the time - most of the time the step doesn't matter, but sometimes it's catastrophic. The fear of missing a critically important step can be terrifying, even in houscleaning (or bill paying - that's one I mess up all the time.) I try to implement a non-step-based system (e.g. I start from one corner and clean outwards, or with bills I put them into some kind of automatic reminder system which works for everything but the outliers - haven't figured those out yet.)

As I'm typing there is clean laundry all over the living room. Most likely it will go in hampers to the rooms where it belongs, where the hampers will sit on the floor until the clothes in them are used - unless they don't get into hampers and the dog muddies them up, in which case they go back in the laundry...sigh.

Oh absolutely. I hate it.

Literally how I would explain it.

This fairly accurately explains my difficulty.


I also find it difficult to clean "surface level" things first instead of deeply organizing the first thing I come to.


I so struggle with depression pretty frequently which I'm sure plays it's part.

We have a housekeeper come once a week. I still cannot keep a tidy house and I would really, really like to.