Is It Possible To Be Aspie Without Meltdowns?

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I wonder whether Panic Attacks, Meltdowns, Shutdowns, and "Tantrums" may be all the same thing, expressed differently. I happened to get Temple Grandin's book "The Way I See It" in the mail just yesterday, so it is on my kitchen table, and I picked it up and looked in the index, with this thread on my mind. "Meltdown", of course, is a new word, as probably is "Shutdown", and I had a lot of (then-called) "tantrums" when I was a small child, though fewer as I got older, but just about as uncontrollable when I was an adult "acting like a baby". In the index of Ms Grandin's book, there is no entry at all for "Meltdown", but there are quite a lot for "Tantrum", and she seems to associate that with a fear stimulus, the stimulus maybe not relating directly to fear, but to a remembered fear situation. She also has some "non-verbal" connections with that (of course I was always more verbal than she: I'm an Aspie). But she says that a brain scan showed that she has an enlarged amygdala (fear center). She also says that her Panic Attacks are controlled by antidepressants. I'm on antidepressants in the winter, and no kind that I've been on has controlled Panic Attacks, but then I express them differently than "Meltdowns" or "Tantrums". (Xanax is not an antidepressant: it's a tranquilizer. I have no doubt that it would control a Meltdown now, if I still had them) I have never had "Shutdowns" in which the stimuli become overwhelming so I stop receiving them. Just some more food for thought. I'd never made these associations before. Ms Grandin is almost my age, so she'd use "Tantrums" as I do, not with the "younger" word, "Meltdown". When I became an adult, I was ashamed, so I stopped using the word "tantrum", and said something more like "I had a fit" -- but the symptoms were the same, there just wasn't the word "Meltdown" to use, then (unless one was speaking of a nuclear reactor! I would suspect that even the childish ones were more to do with anger and grief than fear, but maybe there's a relationship? I didn't have anything I'd have called a Panic Attack, or would call now, when I was a child. I do have the cyclical Depression now, comorbidly, and some antidepressants do work for it. I'm not entirely sure what's associated with Depression and what's associated with Autism Spectrum.

I think the label "tantrum" is often applied to behaviour that isn't typical of the Aspie meltdown - e.g. moderately aggressive sulkiness or an inappropriate show of temper. To some extent, I think the label can be used to justify intolerance of meltdowns. Maybe the key is whether or not the behaviour is voluntary.

I have episodes that I call shutdowns, where I simply can't focus on what's being said to me, but I don't know that I use the term properly. It's certainly nothing like a meltdown for me. It's completely undetectable from the outside, unless somebody asks me to prove I've been listening.

I'm not diagnosed (it's in the works though), but I have had meltdowns. Only a few I can remember though.

The most recent was within the last year, but I'm nost quite sure when. I was trying to explain something to my Nan and she wasn't getting the point, and kept saying things that showed that she really didn't get what I was saying yet she was saying that she understood me... Anyway... After like half an hour I was screaming at the top of my lungs trying to maker her listen, and she STILL didn't get it, so I swore at her and I went up stairs because I felt like I was going to cry and I slammed the doors on the way.

Before that, about 2 years ago, my Nan again was smoking in the room while I was eating and I had a headache. I asked her to leave the room to smoke the rest of her fag or put it out and finish it later but she refused. I kept asking and I got angrier and angrier because the smell was hurting my head and my mouth and I just snapped. I flipped the living room table over, cereals and milk all over the floor, told my Nan that I hated her and no one cares about me, burst into tears and then went to my room, slamming doors on the way, then I kicked at my door a few times, then led on my bed. After a few mins I rang my partner (it was like 10PM) to ask to come and stay at his.

Before that, I'd have the odd meltdown which was pretty much just shouting then going to my room and kicking the door and throwing things, then crying.

I usually don't let myself get involved in things that will make me that angry, but I have many shutdowns. Usually triggered by my sensory processing issues (which, after years of going to the doctors about my eating problems, and what I thought was OCD because of the problems I have with textures/greasy things, I only JUST got diagnosed with Sensory Processing Disorder after going to a new doctor, the same one who recommended me for assessment.).

I had tons of uncontrollable crying spells up until I was 12 years old. Otherwise, I have no meltdowns at all.

Simple quick answer would be no.
I think age does help at 41 I am light years calmer than I was in my twenties.
Also since learning about AS and getting dx the awareness of my triggers helps a lot.

What do you eat? - Real food. Veggies with lean meats on side someitmes fresh fruit.
Very few processed "fake" foods (big dif from years of doritos and dr pepper when I was younger)
What do you drink? - Mostly filter water (with no sodium) and some unsweetened teas. Sometimes a small amount of lowfat butter milk with larger portion of skim milk
What is your daily routine like? Struggling to get retrained and employed begging for aid.
What is your social life like? Almost nonexistent.

Am glad to say it's been more than a year since a serious melt down but still have lots of shut downs and zoning out.