Do you find these questions annoying?

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I would only ask people I trust such as my parents or husband. I know they will be honest with me. Only ask people you trust. But I always hope my own online friends aren't giving me answers they think I want to hear and they're all aspies.

The best solution for these situations is to carry around a recording of "Yes" and "No" in a computer voice and press the right buttons when the questions are asked. This is far less painful than saying the words oneself.

I generally refuse to answer questions like this. I just say "I have no opinion."

These questions are silly, but I understand why people do it...it's for self-validation and to reinforce the fact that because you are someone's friend, you will see them in a positive light no matter what. I always say what they want to hear so we can get it over with and perhaps move on to something a little less superficial.

As an 8 year old kid, I didn't understand this concept at all though...I called a classmate's painting ugly, even though she asked what I thought about it. I was just telling her what I honestly thought and at the time did not understand why she got upset.

I think this answer comes in handy quite a bit of the time, especially for things in social settings. For instance, my friend asked me if his sister and her girlfriend were going to make their mother uncomfortable with their affectionate displays, and that was my answer, "They seem fine, but I am probably not the person to ask" because it might not be something I would notice, since it isn't any of my business.

As a previous poster stated I think "why do you ask?" Is a good response, is anyone ever asks me a question I don't wish to answer I always counter with another question.

I also generally answer with a "why do you ask?" or "what's on your mind?" I don't appreciate questions where they already know the answers but usually it means there's something deeper bothering them.

_________________
http://defeatingthedoginthedaytime.blogspot.com/

the trials and tribulations of a girl pretending to be normal

Yes... I hate those questions.

I like to give ironic responses.

Woman: "Do I look good in this dress?"
Me: "Everyone will be looking at you in it."

The dumb ones go away satisfied. The smarter ones aren't sure whether to be offended or not! Did I mean that nicely or not...?
People that know me don't ask such stupid questions, or expect honest answers.

I simply refuse to answer questions like that.

"I can either answer by telling you what I really think, in which case the answer might be what you want to hear or, if it isn't what you want to hear, might sound insulting and piss you off. The question is loaded and may require me to lie to you, which I'm not going to do, or, if I'm honest and you don't like the answer, gets me into trouble. I'd appreciated it if you didn't ask me questions like that."

Yeah, sometimes people insist my answer must be negative because I'm avoiding a direct answer. The truth is though, I haven't answered the question at all so any assumptions made by them that my answer must be bad are their responsibility, not mine.

"I haven't answered the question, nor am I going to, so if you think my answer must be negative, you're jumping to conclusions. If that's what you choose to do I have no control over your reaction to my non-reaction. Think what you will. It's a double-edged sword kind of question and I won't go there."

I just don't engage in "conversations" like that, it annoys me quite a lot.

I can think of one situation with a double or triple whammy -- if a girl who's starving herself to death with anorexia asks it. I don't understand, really, what's going on in their heads, but they seem to believe that they're dieting because they're fat, even if they look like a walking skeleton to somebody outside, but when they look into a mirror they really do seem to see a fat person. It wouldn't be a good idea to encourage them toward starvation. I've always been plump, and always have seen a "too fat" person in my mirror, except the one time in my life just after I had weaned my baby from breast-feeding, and I was down to 116 lb from putting my body fat into milk. I still saw a person in my mirror who could stand to lose a few more pounds, but my husband and his best friend, the only people I'd ask that, both said I was _too_ thin. It didn't matter with me, because I've never had the self-discipline to diet like that, but it does go to show I'd still see a fat person. I go more by scales now.

I have been accused of fishing for compliments before. I don't ask about dresses or anything because I don't like stuff like that, but sometimes I mention my ugliness and people who don't know me think they're supposed to tell me that I'm attractive even though I actually want to be ugly. I don't like the people to think I'm trying to get compliments. If I'm feeling insecure and upset, I tell someone I trust about it and ask them to be nice to me, or I do something I like to do. I don't need compliments about my appearance to boost my self-esteem.

I see it like this: If there are any possible answers to the question you're asking that you might not be able to handle, don't ask the damn question in the first place.

Why do you want to be ugly?

This.


If there is something you don't want to hear, don't ask. Before you ask a question, think of things you don't want to hear, if you don't want to hear those answers, don't ask. If you're afraid of hearing something you wouldn't want to hear, don't ask.