TwistedReflection wrote:
Quote:
I have experienced some of what you have, although I think to a lesser extent. Maybe from allergies as a child, I have "deaf speech" where my voice is more nasal than average. This is sometimes perceived as me being gay, I think very inaccurately as the way I talk I think is miles from a gay stereotype like one might see in a movie.
I think what is defined as 'normal' is so unnecessarily narrow and anything outside that range is given a small number of negative labels. And the 'normal' male stereotype is probably even more narrow. For example, the way European men cross their legs is commonly viewed as unacceptable or strange or "gay" for American men. As Aspies, we pick up on this unstated norms less readily, and we probably see the whole thing as silly and pointless.
I thought of one possible remedy. There are masculine images of a doctor, a saleman, a seasoned political activist, etc, etc, etc. And each one of these is different from some kind of stereotypical "macho" image. And this also gives a person a range they can select from.
Very well said. I often cross my legs without any real discomfort, and actually prefer sitting this way. I have also been on the receiving end of homophobic slurs, and, like you, they were largely more focused on the sound of my voice. I can't say whether that means that I am tonally deaf - although it's a possibility - or not, but I did become more conscious of the way I sounded when I spoke thereafter. I'll have to look into this at some stage.
In addition to the allergies, it might also be that I ran more air volume through my nose because I needed the extra stimulation to "feel" what I was saying. I hear just fine now (had hearing test as an adult). But may have had untreated ear infections/stoppages as child. And plus, I kind of like the description "deaf speech" because I do talk somewhat like deaf people.
I am a nerdy guy. Now, when I'm at my best, I might be a little bit like the "James Martin" character (Red Buttons) from The Poseiden Adventure, who's a coach, and a builder, and an idea man. Of course, not all the time, but then who can be.
I've worked with a speech therapist and ten years ago took a college course entitled, Voice for the Actor. Somewhat helpful, but also I was only partially accepted by the class (and older than most). All this is a matter of individual choice.
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Now, as far as physical safety:
I wrote a post entitled
Tight, defensive boxing to a draw. One week.
http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt134616.html
Don't want to oversell, will only probably work against someone a person's own size. And please don't take a bunch of blows to the head during training because all that stuff about post-concussion syndrome and repeated trauma is largely true.
I also recommend karate. The general idea is to let something like a bar fight either escalate or de-escalate. And when it's over, it's over. Welcome a draw.
And like any dojo worth its salt will say, walk away from a fight if you reasonable can.
And the self-defense item so mistaught by so many movies and TV shows, walk toward a crowd or walk toward the safety of other people. That is the percentage move by far.
24 Sep 2011, 7:48 am
