Androgyny in AS Males
24 Sep 2011, 7:48 am
I cross my legs, am limp wristed and often a high-toned speaker, slight of body and light on my feet. I wear a skirt a lot.
But like DreamLord, I grew a moustache recently (goes great with a skirt). Mostly to scare the girls away. Being effeminate is apparently a magnet for young bi girls? Who are also scared by moustaches, apparently?
And the enormous bike chain over my shoulder is hefty enough to turn most all the gay bashing away.
I'm not really gay, not really straight, not interested at all in dating anymore.
AardvarkGoodSwimmer
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24 Sep 2011, 8:01 pm
Thank you for bringing up this difficult but important point. With other groups (for example, politics), I have sometimes noticed this misplaced version of group solidarity in which we throw down on someone else. We are capable of so much better.
AardvarkGoodSwimmer
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Joined: 26 Apr 2009
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Location: Houston, Texas
24 Sep 2011, 8:37 pm
I think what is defined as 'normal' is so unnecessarily narrow and anything outside that range is given a small number of negative labels. And the 'normal' male stereotype is probably even more narrow. For example, the way European men cross their legs is commonly viewed as unacceptable or strange or "gay" for American men. As Aspies, we pick up on this unstated norms less readily, and we probably see the whole thing as silly and pointless.
I thought of one possible remedy. There are masculine images of a doctor, a saleman, a seasoned political activist, etc, etc, etc. And each one of these is different from some kind of stereotypical "macho" image. And this also gives a person a range they can select from.
Very well said. I often cross my legs without any real discomfort, and actually prefer sitting this way. I have also been on the receiving end of homophobic slurs, and, like you, they were largely more focused on the sound of my voice. I can't say whether that means that I am tonally deaf - although it's a possibility - or not, but I did become more conscious of the way I sounded when I spoke thereafter. I'll have to look into this at some stage.
In addition to the allergies, it might also be that I ran more air volume through my nose because I needed the extra stimulation to "feel" what I was saying. I hear just fine now (had hearing test as an adult). But may have had untreated ear infections/stoppages as child. And plus, I kind of like the description "deaf speech" because I do talk somewhat like deaf people.
I am a nerdy guy. Now, when I'm at my best, I might be a little bit like the "James Martin" character (Red Buttons) from The Poseiden Adventure, who's a coach, and a builder, and an idea man. Of course, not all the time, but then who can be.
I've worked with a speech therapist and ten years ago took a college course entitled, Voice for the Actor. Somewhat helpful, but also I was only partially accepted by the class (and older than most). All this is a matter of individual choice.
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Now, as far as physical safety:
I wrote a post entitled Tight, defensive boxing to a draw. One week.
http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt134616.html
Don't want to oversell, will only probably work against someone a person's own size. And please don't take a bunch of blows to the head during training because all that stuff about post-concussion syndrome and repeated trauma is largely true.
I also recommend karate. The general idea is to let something like a bar fight either escalate or de-escalate. And when it's over, it's over. Welcome a draw.
And like any dojo worth its salt will say, walk away from a fight if you reasonable can.
And the self-defense item so mistaught by so many movies and TV shows, walk toward a crowd or walk toward the safety of other people. That is the percentage move by far.
TwistedReflection
Pileated woodpecker
Joined: 21 Sep 2011
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 180
Location: At the End of Everything
24 Sep 2011, 10:30 pm
Agreed. At any rate, I've managed to find the related thread for any who want to see the pack mentality in action. Here's the link [url=http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt124254.html].
Granted, some were merely passing comment on their dislike of his music, which is fine. Later in the thread, however, some of the comments become quite scathing and border on blatant homophobia.
25 Sep 2011, 2:17 am
Physically Im very male (big boned, shoulders, etc) but with long hair and make up I've been told I look Like Ozzy Osbourne's daughter. I considered it a compliment, one of the best I've ever gotten.
I guess I just find "pretty" and "beautiful" more pleasant than "handsome".
Normally I wouldn't say Im transgendered or even androgynous but I am Native American and some tribes had members they considered "Two Spirited" both a male and female spirit in the same body, hunts AND cooks, etc. Seems to describe me fairly well.
25 Sep 2011, 6:06 am
Given that I have a cluster cycle about every 29.5 days, with frequent Priapistic seizures, labeled by the Fathers of the Church as a male menses, with a Becker's Nevus, I get responses on the street and elsewhere.
I tried to model form more for the Donatello's David image, but got stuck with my images more like at Google "Tadzio" and "Antinous" and "Tadzio Satyricon" for images.
Then like Tadzio in the movies, I started at the top and worked my way down, with plenty of stop-overs in "My Own Private Idaho".
Tadzio
