Another Survey
Have you ever struggled to live with your disorder? yes
Have your sibling(s) struggled with having someone with an ASD in your family? yes
Did your parents ever struggle with accepting your disorder? yes
Have you ever felt disconnected from the world? yes
Were you able to find a way to connect with the neurotypical world? no
What were some of these ways?
Did you ever have to seek professional help to cope with your disorder? no
What were some of the things you were told?
What have you done in order to better live with your disorder? tryed act normal
Have you attended any organisations that help people with an ASD? kind of but not really
For people with Autism or Asperger's:
Have you ever struggled to live with your disorder?
I don't think of it that way really, but now that I think about it I guess I have. I had a lot of trouble behaving in school and when it started getting really bad I had to go to a private school for a few years. (7th to 9th grade) And then after college I had trouble trying to sort out my life and find a job, and I had to get help from the Division of Vocational Rehab here in WA. But both things helped me a lot. The struggle isn't constant. I just have trouble figuring out big life problems, but when people help me, I learn how to do it.
Have your sibling(s) struggled with having someone with an ASD in your family?
I don't think so, no. I mean, I had some rivalry with my NT sister and I think she found me hard to live with sometimes, but that's normal for all-NT siblings too.
Did your parents ever struggle with accepting your disorder?
I think my dad may have felt frustrated and/or embarrassed sometimes, that I acted strange/childish/animalistic instead of like a normal young lady. That's what I feel, looking back at some of the things I remember him saying and doing. But I think those were just his gut feelings. I don't think he ever had a conscious prejudice against me or my disorder.
Have you ever felt disconnected from the world?
Yes, there are a lot of times when I've felt I'm just an observer, and there are aspects of life that seem to be almost universally participated in that somehow I just never opted in to.
Were you able to find a way to connect with the neurotypical world?
Yes. In middle school I got to be with people like myself and I learned a lot of great social skills, then in college and at my current job I have made a good number of NT friends. In high school I think I really started becoming more aware of how I appeared to others and I started trying to work on adopting more normal mannerisms, and by college I think I had started to seem much more approachable. NT interaction has a very real structure to it, it's definitely logical in a sense. It's just very complicated. But it's not impossible to figure out, and I make more progress all the time.
What were some of these ways?
I limit my actions and expressions a lot. I have sort of a list of "safe" things that I can do that I know don't look weird. I also try to smile a lot. I know it sounds like I'm putting on a fake mask, but I do try to put my genuine feelings behind it. I try to be genuine, but change the exterior manifestation of my feelings from something weird to something other people can relate to.
Did you ever have to seek professional help to cope with your disorder?
Just those things I mentioned in the first question.
What were some of the things you were told?
I don't really remember. My mom was the one who got me evaluated, and all I remember is going to do a lot of tests all the time. I didn't even know what they were for, I thought it was related to school. I didn't pay much attention aside from doing the things in the tests. And I went to do some tests much more recently when DVR helped me find a job, but they didn't really say anything that stuck out much either, other than being very good at assessing what kind of work I would be good at when even I couldn't figure it out. I guess one thing people always say is that I'm quiet. That I seem like a good listener but that people who don't know about my disorder might not be able to tell that I'm paying attention or even that I'm thinking, so I should speak up more. I've heard that kind of thing several times.
What have you done in order to better live with your disorder?
I guess I just try to pay more attention, both to what I am doing and what other people are doing in all aspects of life. All you can do is keep learning and adapting. I am also trying to take more initiative in all aspects of my life, especially at work. In other words: do more than be a good listener. And make more decisions for myself.
Have you attended any organizations that help people with an ASD?
DVR is the one that helped me get a job: http://www.dshs.wa.gov/dvr/
And this was the wonderful private school I went to: http://www.childrensinstitute.com/ (Actually the section of the school I went to was for older kids and it was called New Heights, and there's a link for New Heights on that page, but it's broken.)
_________________
"You gotta keep making decisions, even if they're wrong decisions, you know. If you don't make decisions, you're stuffed."
- Joe Simpson