I might get free antidepressants from the state?

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I would try to avoid diazapam and benzodiazapenes if at all possible as they are very addictive.

I have tried both SSRI and SNRI antidepressants and find they are little better than sugar pills in my case, however I know other people who swear by them so I guess you have to try them for yourself. The suicide risk I imagine would come in the first couple of weeks you are on them as they do usually take 2-4 weeks to take effect and I have found I actually felt worse during this time, but if that is something you are expecting and prepared for I think you can weather it (and not everyone is affected). Also the SNRI's made me a bit manic and interfered with my sleep.

I found olanzapine (Zyprexa) very effective for me, but I would not recommend this as a first line of attack as it can have some quite serious side effects - I was suffering from VERY severe depression with some psychotic symptoms when I went on it and did come off it again once things were more stable.

I have a shedload of anger and a lot of violent thoughts and I'm not proud of it, and there it is. I mean, what it is, is what it is. I made a post about what I call crapola department store a while ago and I got maybe a couple of drive by responses here at WP. But no one really engaged and, yes, it was disappointing.

What I would have really liked would be an uncle who's a mobster who would argue with me that he wanted to care of it, that out of respect to please let him beat up these two guys, one, the workplace bully, and two, the manager who acquiesced to this. And that way, if I decided to let it go, I would be letting it go from conscious choice, not because of lack of better alternatives. And I might get also some credit playing the goddam role of Gandhi or at least some acknowledgement, not just because it's expected.

Yes, the standard advice that I should try and be more social when depressed. Good advice as far as it is, but it's about the last thing I feel like doing when depressed. And it's a not a very high percentage thing any way.

Okay, there is a significantly higher suicide percentage among persons who are gay or lesbian, esp teenagers, because of the perception of future social exclusion. And this is not some kind of false perception. The person in question is perceiving all too clearly . . . except, expect long shot hope still counts as real hope. When Harvey Milk got elected in the 1970s he got the phone call he knew he would, from a young person in another part of the country saying thank you, because now there were two new options, move to California or stay and fight.

Offhand, I'd say the movement for Aspie / Autism Rights is where the gay rights movement was in the 1960s. But we have the Internet and can go faster. And we're not going to face the direct religious opposition. But we'll still have unpredicted successes and set-backs. For example, it might be the case that people have a hard time admitting hiring practices are unfair, because they very much want to believe that they got their job through merit alone. Well, we will fight that battle when it comes, and we'll keep working the broad issue. Where it's easier for us to meet each other, our own tribe, and we're more readily accepted by society at large. Where it's viewed as royally uncool to be against someone just because they're on the spectrum. Now, one might think we'd need to get 50% to be against discrimination, but in an interesting way, no we don't, I think once we get 20%, there'll start to be a sea change, and I think there have been studies about this. So, I guess I believe in intellectual hope, but the times I'm excluded, angry, depressed, that is pretty thin consolation.