Can you sense if somebody likes/dislikes you?

Page 2 of 4 [ 60 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4  Next

fraac
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Mar 2011
Age: 46
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,865

29 Sep 2011, 5:28 pm

CaptainTrips222 wrote:
League_Girl wrote:
I can easily tell. If someone treats me badly or has a negative attitude towards me, I can tell they don't like me. If someone is always friendly with me and seem to be super nice to me and giving me special treatment, they like me.



Exactly. It's just that simple.


Or that's just who they are, either nice or nasty, and it has nothing to do with you. Maybe it's moot. You can tell the difference by observing them with other people over time. But can you sense the difference? That's what I'm very curious indeed about.



MrXxx
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 May 2010
Age: 64
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,760
Location: New England

29 Sep 2011, 5:29 pm

I honestly can't tell until a person acts like a total a-hole toward me. I know when I don't like others, but I don't go by that so much because I'm wrong just enough. Not often, but there have been a few times I ended up becoming friends with some I didn't at first like, so I try to always hold out the hope that I am wrong when I don't like somebody.

The thing is, when it comes to others not liking me, I just don't care so I don't bother thinking about it.

I'm a likeable guy, and almost never give anyone any reason not to like me, so if someone doesn't, who doesn't even know me well...

What do I care?


_________________
I'm not likely to be around much longer. As before when I first signed up here years ago, I'm finding that after a long hiatus, and after only a few days back on here, I'm spending way too much time here again already. So I'm requesting my account be locked, banned or whatever. It's just time. Until then, well, I dunno...


ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 18 Jun 2008
Gender: Female
Posts: 12,265

29 Sep 2011, 5:43 pm

I am not so sure NTs or Autistics either one are good at figuring out who does and doesn't like them. If you think someone doesn't like you and tell people that they accuse you of being paranoid. So, what are you supposed to do? Pretend like everyone likes you, regardless. It might be the easiest thing to do unless you want people telling others you are paranoid which isn't too fun.
Just go on, regardless and don't worry about it. If someone doesn't like you, it's their problem, not yours.

However, if someone you know comes up to you and says to you, "so and so said they do not like you," that's completely different. If you have confirmation from an outside source without bringing it up to them first, you are free to worry and fret all you want and try to figure out what to do about it, if anything.



Surfman
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Aug 2010
Age: 61
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,938
Location: Homeward bound

29 Sep 2011, 5:53 pm

One thing I've recently learnt to do is when someone is reacting badly to my aspieness

I will often be patient and start talking about things in such a manner as they begin to feelguilty for feeling dislike toward me

Its difficult to explain what I say, but I have turned people around with:

** implied moral blackmail**



proxybear
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 28 Apr 2011
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 163

29 Sep 2011, 5:53 pm

I tend to have problems understanding if people like me or not.

As if they are just trying to be nice to me out of pity or not.



Dots
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 Apr 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 972
Location: Ontario

29 Sep 2011, 6:02 pm

I have trouble telling whether people like me or not.

I used to be more naive about it and think people liked me when they really didn't, and people would be nice to me to get me to do or say something dumb and then they would turn mean and make fun of me. I got bullied like that a lot in school.

Now I just can't tell whether people like me or not, and I can't use obvious clues like if they are being nice to me because sometimes people are nice but don't really like you, like in what I experienced in grade school.

I wish I could ask everyone I make friends with "do you like me?" because then I would know for sure. I have low self esteem so I tend to believe that people don't like me, unless they do something outrageously obvious like call me their friend or something.


_________________
Transgender. Call me 'he' please. I'm a guy.
Diagnosed Bipolar and Aspergers (questioning the ASD diagnosis).

Free speech means the right to shout 'theatre' in a crowded fire.
--Abbie Hoffman


liveandletdie
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 May 2010
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 902

29 Sep 2011, 6:05 pm

Don't know.....very often. Unless maybe i knew someone for a very long time like 5-20 years then i might have a bit of a hunch.
Otherwise it's a complete mystery.

A lot of people have thought I did not like them when infact i did.


_________________
“It is better to offer no excuse than a bad one.”
― George Washington


Meow101
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Feb 2010
Age: 62
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,699
Location: USA

29 Sep 2011, 9:39 pm

I have a very hard time telling unless people make it obvious, and even then it may not be clear to me. I get people telling me "so and so likes you" and I'm like WTF?

~Kate


_________________
Ce e amorul? E un lung
Prilej pentru durere,
Caci mii de lacrimi nu-i ajung
Si tot mai multe cere.
--Mihai Eminescu


swbluto
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Feb 2011
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,899
Location: In the Andes, counting the stars and wondering if one of them is home to another civilization

29 Sep 2011, 10:26 pm

When people ask "Who's that fa***t?" in referring to me, I'm guessing they don't like me. :lol:

But, more seriously, when I sense reluctance/hesitance and/or avoidant type of behavior when I approach someone or they have an annoyed tone of voice, I assume they probably don't like me that much. If they're happy to see me and quick to greet me (or quick to return a greeting and have a nice tone of voice), I assume they probably like me.

I seem to get the former response more often than the latter in the past, but it's been more neutral to positive lately.



Last edited by swbluto on 29 Sep 2011, 10:32 pm, edited 1 time in total.

CaptainTrips222
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Mar 2009
Age: 43
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,100

29 Sep 2011, 10:28 pm

fraac wrote:
CaptainTrips222 wrote:
League_Girl wrote:
I can easily tell. If someone treats me badly or has a negative attitude towards me, I can tell they don't like me. If someone is always friendly with me and seem to be super nice to me and giving me special treatment, they like me.



Exactly. It's just that simple.


Or that's just who they are, either nice or nasty, and it has nothing to do with you. Maybe it's moot. You can tell the difference by observing them with other people over time. But can you sense the difference? That's what I'm very curious indeed about.


That occurred to me but I just didn't say it in my post. Yeah, if I notice they're much more social and cool with others, I know there's something about me they don't like.

And I kinda do have a 6th sense about who likes me and who doesn't. Even though somebody might be totally social with me, they're a bit fake about it, and I can always tell there's a vague uneasiness when they're around me. I later find out through a 3rd party that person didn't really like me.



fraac
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Mar 2011
Age: 46
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,865

29 Sep 2011, 11:37 pm

Yeah, I can sense all kinds of things, probably we all can, but I can't tell if someone is reacting to me or to whatever messed them up years before they met me. I'm not sure the information even exists. Even for NTs, I have a strong suspicion that they're kidding themselves about knowing how people feel about them.



viera
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 14 Sep 2011
Age: 39
Gender: Female
Posts: 46

29 Sep 2011, 11:45 pm

no am slow at picking up social cues.



Sibyl
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 10 Jul 2009
Age: 80
Gender: Female
Posts: 597
Location: Kansas

29 Sep 2011, 11:54 pm

I don't know. I tend to assume neutrality, unless there's strong evidence one way or the other (if they're red in the face, frowning, yelling at me, I tend to think they might not like me). I get more of a feel for it after I've known them quite a while. But I've had some nasty surprises when someone I thought was my friend did me a dirty.



hale_bopp
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Nov 2004
Gender: Female
Posts: 17,054
Location: None

29 Sep 2011, 11:54 pm

Sometimes it's very obvious. Sometimes it comes as a shock and really hurts me.



sagan
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 20 Jan 2011
Age: 112
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,788
Location: Land of the Lost

30 Sep 2011, 12:00 am

No, I cannot. I just go by past experiences, and assume everyone dislikes me.
Buahaha. No not really, but kinda.

I can tell when someone is really mean, but when people like me I can never tell. If they are too nice, I think they are hiding something, and if they are somewhere in between, I don't know what to make of it.


_________________
The stars look very different today.


anneurysm
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Mar 2008
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,196
Location: la la land

30 Sep 2011, 12:33 am

I am hyperaware of this. I can tell within even just getting to know someone if they don't like me...if they are bored, disinterested, or notice that I'm not a conformist and start patronising me in a sing-songy voice. (Before I developed my social skills further, I got the latter one A LOT). As well, I know certain types of personalities who are less likely to like me, so I avoid these kinds of people altogether.


_________________
Given a “tentative” diagnosis as a child as I needed services at school for what was later correctly discovered to be a major anxiety disorder.

This misdiagnosis caused me significant stress, which lessened upon finding out the truth about myself from my current and past long-term therapists - that I am an anxious and highly sensitive person but do not have an autism spectrum disorder.

My diagnoses - social anxiety disorder and obsessive-compulsive disorder.

I’m no longer involved with the ASD world.