Blame the victim...usually me.

Post Reply New Topic

Doling out punishment is often self-reinforcing for the person doing the punishing. Not just in terms of the pleasure many people experience in weilding power, but often whatever it was that was annoying you immediately ceases, at least for a short time.

Unfortunately for many teachers, the main problem they're concerned with is that they were inconvenienced, not the problematic interaction between the students.

Well, isn't that what we pay tax dollars to them for, to be "inconvenienced"? I guess they view the child that's an easy target for bullies as a potential hardship since they now have to actually get involved with protecting him rather than being lazy about looking after their students. So they punish the bullied kid for making them have to get off their butts and do something. Uggghh! This royally p*sses me off!

I always wondered if girls bullied each other. That was a problem my parents had with my being bullied; I had a sister who was less than 1.5 years older than I was and she didn't get harassed in school the way I did. They thought it was something wrong with me and that I should be more like my sister, but I could never figure out what I did that was so wrong to bring all of this on me.

I agree with you there. In the adult world if these kids behaved this way, there would be recourse against them but in a child's world, there isn't. School is supposed to prepare someone for the "real world," yet when it comes to rules, it doesn't even come close.

I can think of such an incident that happened to me. One time, I kid started hurling insults at me during lunch so I said something back to him. He was bigger than me and he attacked me later just before P.E. class started. I did report the incident and the person I reported it to said "If I stopped to take care of you everytime someone hit you I'd spend my life taking care of you." This was a private school, where discipline is supposed to be better than public school which in my experience, discipline is usually just as bad. My experience with private schools is the worse the school's financial situation, the more lax the discipline is. Basically if a school can't keep students, it takes alot to get them to discipline since it could cost them a student while a school that has a waiting list of students trying to get in would suspend or expel a student in a heartbeat, since if they lose a student today they can have a new student in the next day.

In my experience girls bullying each other is just as common as guys.

The difference is girls dont usually go for physical violence, instead opting for psychological warfare.

Why beat someone up to embarass them when you can simply manipulate them and the situation to cause them embarassment?

Hence its more commonly overlooked and (among NTs at least) more traumatic in the long run.

Yeah, that's the way it was. I remember these three girls, sometimes they would pull you in, pretending to be your friend (and you were so greatfull to finally have friends) just to embarress or humiliate you in some fancy way.

Like the time they were oh so friendly and walked me out to my bicycle only because they wanted to see my face when I discovered they had punctured both tires. Then they laughed and ran away.

I don't know which is more harmfull. Neither is nice.

The boys I knew went for both types of abuse and like you, I think the psychological abuse is worse.