Did you notice you were different when you were a kid?

Post Reply New Topic

Wow. And once again, I feel like I'm the luckiest Aspie on this entire website. When I was growing up in Wellington I always had a friend who'd want to play with me (it changed to hang out as I've gotten into my teen-age years). I mean, they were the ones who invited me over to their place. They probably noticed I was different, but they accepted that and let me in. Two of my friends even help me and taught me things like saying Please and Thank You, not raising my voice and how to pick up sarcasm (they said it was lying by telling the truth!). I was nervous to learn new things, but they always ecouraged me to keep on trying. In a way this makes me feel like I'm half Aspie and half NT!

Whenever I read stories like the ones I come across here, I just wish that the writer's would've grown up where I did and had a better childhood. I could if I could just get my Time Machine working...

Yes "Quite a bit, I always wondered what the heck was going on" which was at least since I was 6. I was the last to learn the alphabet and was very clumsy and awkward, but I was much better at drawing than most kids of my age. Then at age 7 I found almost darn near impossible to socialize with my peers. I especially found it especially difficult if not impossible to particpate in rule based games with them like football or cricket. I really did know I was very different.

Paul

It's the weirdest thing for me, because even though I was interested in multiplying three-digit numbers in my head before most kids my age even learned how to add, I never considered myself different and I never let it bother me. In recent years, however, I've come to notice how different I truly am from everyone else and it's bothered me more.

I knew by the time I went for "kindergarten roundup." Apparently I was to be schooled with a bunch of "ret*ds" who couldn't be reliably counted upon to use the toilet or dress themselves much less count, read, or write. I'd already been doing math and reading science fiction for over a year and playing chess for two - I had no idea what I'd done wrong to get stuck in with those stupid children. It took a complete breakdown my part to find out that those children were "normal." Learning to sit quietly while these "normals" were housebroken and trained to speak is when I discovered that people annoy me more than they annoy most others.

Sports were horrible. I was so uncoordinated I dreaded even a hint at a sports day.

I was so uncoordinated as a child that my Father took away my bicycle because I could not stay upright on it but persisted in trying falling off again and again and again until I looked like a victim of child abuse.

Oh yeah, painfully obvious. There was a period in my childhood where I was convinced that I was an animal rather than a person (I loved animals, so this didn't seem like a bad thing, just a way to explain the difference I felt). But yeah. Really.

I was nicknamed 'the robot' at school for a time.

It was in an affectionate way, I'm sure, as it didn't bother me at all.

I knew I was different ... I just thought I was a bit mad.



When I was younger, I thought that this was a good thing because it let me 'see' more than others around me (and it did).

When I learned about aspergers I thought it was cool, because there were others that follow the same 'rules' and it explained so much of my past.

Starting as early as preschool and continuing on to high school, I always noticed that I was smarter than anyone else in the class/group, yet didn't get any benefit from it other than good grades. At the same time, I was bullied for my entire academic life. It took me years to get over it. My freshman year of college, I was paranoid about bullying, even though it never happened, and I think I might have missed out on some good friendships because I kept people at arm's length.

i remember lying in my bed as a small child and wondering if i was ret*d but either nobody knew or they just wouldn't tell me. Not because I thought i was dumb; I knew i was very smart and talented. Just at that age retardation was the only "difference" i knew of and I knew that I was different.

The knowledge that I was different was the single hardest part of being a child for me. I thought I was cursed or some kind of mutant clear into my teens. I am not kidding, I really did. In my early 20s I found out what learning disabilities were, and was so relieved, but I knew that was only part of the picture. I only had my Dad to talk to about it and he was angry that a child of his would presume to have anything wrong. He always told me my problem was a "mental block." And that I was stubborn.
I don't know why, but that situation hurt like you wouldn't believe. Because I would go to teachers and family members and say please help me find out what is wrong with me, and they either said I was an idiot or was acting weird on purpose.
This has been the only place I have been able to tell people about this, and feel like they understood

I just didn't know how to be like other people.

(*in a depressed tone*) I'm starting to regret making this topic...

I'm not sure if I have AS or not.

Today I was having dinner with a friend and she was talking about how she just discovered this really troubled kid from her high school just discovered he has AS, at the age of 22. She went on about how this explained a lot, about how he had such weird behaviour sometimes and how unfortunate it was that he was always so misunderstood. The discussion made me really uncomfortable, aside from the usual feeling of social awkwardness I have. I went to my room and looked AS up on wikipedia immediately, which led me to this site.

The characteristics really describe me. I took some online screening quiz that said I am one of you. Now I know I should be skeptical about everything I read on the internet and maybe go talk to a professional, but s**t, this sure explains a lot. I've always felt weird.

I had a rough childhood. I suffered from identity issues because I'm half Japanese and half white and I was born here in Canada. However, the very culturally homogenous white town I grew up in made me feel like an outsider at times. The other kids didn't understand me or expected something more from me culturally. I was either verbally and/or physically abused by my dad nearly everyday of my life before I moved away to university. My mom was really neglectful of me because of her clinical depression so we don't have a good relationship. In fact, I'm amazed I survived. I'm surprised I'm in school and not a criminal or something. Or not surprised at all. I would have needed friends to also make bad decisions in life. Academics has always come easily to me: language, music, math and general nerdy overacheiving. No one ever worries about the kid who scored the highest in the class on the test. I had issues.

I always had trouble communicating with my peers. It wasn't until icq and msn became popular when I was 13 that I really began to try to open up to people. From when I was a child, I lacked imagination and the desire to get to know other people. I played alone at recess or read a book a lot of the time. I got bored of barbies and make believe by the time I was about 5 years old. I had a few friends here and there, but I never felt understood. A lot of lunch times in high school were spent alone or hiding in the bathroom because I was embarassed that I had no one to hang out with.

I don't know if it is my ridiculous upbringing or something in my brain that's different. I feel awkward in conversation, I feel like I miss things when people are talking to me. I feel like I can't always understand why some people feel a certain way. I spent a lot of time depressed and not wanting to grow and change. Maybe my problems are a variety of things. I've always felt so different. My biggest complaint is that I take things too literally all the time and I completely lack a sense of humour. I just want to be able to laugh more. I want to relax. Sometimes I feel numb. Emotionally I feel like I should be 5 years old.

I'm 20 now and I have a modest social network now of friends I can sort of relate to. At least I hope they enjoy my company. Living in residence has helped me with social skills a lot. I've pushed myself to learn how to relate to people and stop feeling like such an alien. Or not. My nights are filled with a lot of drinking and general abuse of alcohol because it makes me feel more comfortable around people. I feel like I'm lacking something still. I'm worried that men only talk to me because they find me physically attractive. For someone who thinks she doesn't relate well to others, I have had a lot of boyfriends. I feel like shallow girls talk to me so they can have a pretty friend to show off later. I'm not trying to be conceited, that's just how I feel. I only have a few people I feel I can really talk to and I'd never bring up AS with them. It scares me to be so honest around other people. I like the anonymity of the internet.

So yes, the answer is I've always been different. I'm dumping my problems on you, the reader, because I'm a very confused person right now. I want to be like everyone else, whatever that's like.

Aw man! Why is it that nearly everyone who posts here is only doing so because of the last two options in the poll? I'm a very compassionate person (especially for a 16 year old guy), and it's times like these when I gratefully hate it. I landed upon this site from Wikipedia as well, and I was at first a bit nervous about joining. I eventually did last Friday.

I'm a friendly person, and I'm willing to give advice to anyone. Guess what I'm going to do now? Okay, to see whether or not your friend will accept your admittance that you have AS, see how they deal with other similar secrets and that sort of thing. If they're really mean about it, then it's probably not going to be a good idea. I can relate to your liking to the anonymous-ness (is that a word? It'll do for now...) of the internet. I remember when I was in Intermediate (I think it's also known as junior-high elswhere) how I could never do anything and I'd be down for a few days at a time.

If you have any problems, feel free to ask up in these forums, or if it's trying to deal with something in particular (such as how to effectively look into someone's eyes, for example), use the Coping in Life Boards or use the Links page to help out. I have a fairly mild case of AS, so much that I could call myself NT, and I'm telling you now that if I had the money, I'd fly over to wherever you are in Canada, buy a parka, and be more than willing to be your friend, despite the age difference.

I sincerely hope your life will pick up soon, that you stop drinking so much (it just can't be good for you...) and that you make many, many friends here on Wrong Planet (I just know you will, you can do it )!

I dont have a lot of "childhood" memories....but I remember very clearly knowing that I was from planet Krexafax....that I didnt understand "humans",found their behavior and thought process very alian.I use to spend my time in the pool "saving" bugs from drowning while my peers giggled and splashed each other.(savior complex)Mt teachers wrote that I couldnt stay in my space and had no physical boundaries while trying to help my classmates.I dont actually remember being interested in other people at all,just animals,rocks and bugs.When I was younger I remember being annoyed and confused by my peers "screeching" and laughing,I thought it was fake.As I got older,I thought I was "missing" something....some chemical,piece of brain...that allowed people to feel such joy.

I still dont know if I have AS...but something sure is "different"about how I experience and react to life.
The "experts" said it was being adopted,abandoned ,some repressed abuse,depression.I think that only explanes 1/10th of my experience.

Mayumi....I can relate to some of what your saying and I am concerned about your drinking.(Please excuse my projecting my own experience on to you but it's the only way I know how to empathise)
I drank a lot on the weekends in college and after graduating ,went on to become a full fledged alcoholic...It doesnt happen to everyone....but I drank to be able to "tolerate" being social and couldnt do it with out drinking....so I kept on drinking.I had a college degree and ended up homeless,so dont think an education will protect you.I would hate for anyone else to learn this way,that socialising with people who basically dont care about you,isnt worth the sacrifice.Join a science,art,political group instead....the socializing you learn there will be of more practical use to you when you graduate(and then it can really be hard to meet people without going to bars...yuck)Just a thought....best wishes,and I do think you fit in here.Welcome!! !

I didn't seem to do too badly until I was about seven or eight, although I was uncoordinated and bad at sports, and always way ahead of everyone else in reading and writing; my mother had taught me to read at home when I was two to three, so when I started school at four, I could sit down and read a book when other people could hardly read their names. I had a few friends and remember being fairly happy playing with them. It was after that age that things seemed to go wrong. All these complex social rules started developing that I didn't understand. Over the years, the more 'hanging out' and talking became the thing to do, the more different I felt. I had one friend in senior school who was quite shy and a 'late developer' socially, and I thought things with her would stay alright, but eventually she started doing the same things as all the other people which I didn't know how, and we just drifted further and further apart.