Do you like NTs more than Aspies?

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26 Oct 2011, 1:30 am

Seems to me there's NT's who are pretty cool with people with a few differences... and who also give me breathers in their conversation with which I can speak. They can have robust social lives and yet understand me... or someone slightly more severely affected than myself. Then there are the NT's who have all the worst of NT behavior - being overdramatic about stuff that's completely meaningless to me, refusing to speak their true feelings, excluding new people from their conversations, etc. Those people, I don't even want to have as friends.

I'd be very thrilled to meet an Aspie, or even someone who is severely autistic. I'd give them EVERY CHANCE IN THE WORLD to show their good side, and will really, really see if I end up liking any of their special interests.

Didn't want to read all the long posts when I may be going to bed soon, sorry.

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marshall
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26 Oct 2011, 9:56 am

Whether I like or dislike someone depends on personality more than neurological wiring. Often the people who are the most 'fun' are the hardest to actually feel close to in terms of friendship. At some point constant sarcasm, banter, and one-upmanship is a barrier. I've hung out with these kinds of people before in college. I could have a lot of fun but at the same time I never felt truly comfortable with them. I do sometimes envy people who can be upbeat and spontaneous and tend to get more attention, but I realize I can't change who I am. I really want to be around people who can just appreciate me for who I am.

Verdandi
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26 Oct 2011, 10:42 am

To answer the OP: "Huh?"

I don't get how you can decide whether to like someone on the basis of such a broad trait as being autistic or not. I haven't noticed any particular preference either way. Many people I consider friends are on the spectrum, many are not. Most of those who are, I knew since before I knew that I was on the spectrum.

Kiseki
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26 Oct 2011, 11:14 am

I don't know any Aspies in real life, so I cant say. I don't like shy and quiet people though because I'm really talkative and I need someone else to keep my conversation going. I also have strange interests and say things at random, so basically I like other weird people like me

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Joe90
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26 Oct 2011, 11:38 am

I like people who like me and are nice to me, doesn't matter if they've got a brain dysfunction or not.

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cyberdad
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26 Oct 2011, 7:44 pm

Verdandi wrote:

Friendship in the real world involves having common values as well as common likes and dislikes. I'm certain having autism makes little difference to these factors.

However intense shyness, stimming, rudeness and abruptness may be a mitigating factor in not wanting to maintain a long term friendship with somebody unless a group decides they can incorporate and accommodate that persons differences.

I think autistic/Aspie people have it tough here compared to people with physical disabilities where a wheelchair is actually less of an obstacle compared to being a loner.

AdamDZ
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26 Oct 2011, 7:53 pm

I hardly ever meet people that I like. There are people that I tolerate or just don't mind that much. I may even sometimes like someone a bit but I won't seek their company. I will not run away from them when I see them, at best. But I never actively seek company of other people. I spend whole days locked in my room away from my wife, whom I think I love. I feel happiest when I'm alone.

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26 Oct 2011, 8:41 pm

I do like NTs more than aspies. I spent 2 weeks with a group of aspies this summer and most of them annoyed the hell out of me, some more than others. I think it's because I'm not satisfied with who I am, so I don't like people who remind me of myself.

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fMR1
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27 May 2013, 5:12 am

I am making friends with severely autistic kid who says he hates me and is playing kirby most of the time. he is cool though.

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27 May 2013, 6:52 am

fMR1 wrote:

I am making friends with severely autistic kid who says he hates me and is playing kirby most of the time. he is cool though.

This thread is old. Anyway here's my answer:

I like them both the same. I don't judge people based on their neurotyping. I haven't met that much aspies in my life. tend to be more fun or something and know how to keep a conversation going but some might use you or something so you have to watch out. Aspies go through the same things as you do and tend to be honest but they don't tend to be as fun or something and don't know how to keep a conversation going.

CockneyRebel
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27 May 2013, 7:27 am

This thread is old....threads don't last forever! :roll: Pretty good imitation of my mum, eh? :lol:

I like people whether they're normal or they have a disability, no matter what type of disability they have. I also like people who treat me with respect and accept me as I am. If a person is going to treat me like a loser and yell at me or play the Mickey with me, than I'm not going to like them.

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Grimdalus
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27 May 2013, 7:53 am

I prefer NTs over Aspies. Out of the three people with aspergers I have meet only one I like. The other two were irritating, one was stupid and nieve while the other one was arrogant beyond all belief and she had to tell everyone about her latest celebrity crush. I find NTs more likeable and charming.

Nikkt
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27 May 2013, 8:36 am

Well, since we're reviving anyway...

Grimdalus wrote:

I see truth in this^. I once witnessed two young male aspies turn a conversation with an older woman into brutal bash-her-over-the-head-with-logic crap because she mentioned she was religious. Very uncool. As an outside observer I could see their posturing for the insecurities it hid, but it was ugly to watch.

Others (mainly females) have attached themselves to me, claimed 'best friend' status and proceeded to rip away all the patience I ever possessed. (According to Tony Atwood female aspies usually attach themselves to a socially successful 'mother figure'. Too bad they don't realise I'm actually not like that at all!)

But saying that, there are a few aspies who I get along with just fine. They're usually the ones with more introspection and are willing to accept other people's points of view.

I'm still working on trying to emulate that...

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nessa238
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27 May 2013, 8:59 am

swbluto wrote:

So, do you?

As far as I know, I tend to find well-liked people funner than less less well-liked people. It's kind of a cruel dynamic for those who are less well-liked (Like myself in real life), but it's the way it goes. Creativity, Verbal ability, Ability to recall interesting information on the fly, Humor, Extroversion and other characteristics are various traits that add to a person's "funness", and if you lack those traits or have diminished amounts of those traits, well, that's just the way god decided to roll the dice.

So, do you tend to like NTs more than Aspies since NTs tend to have more likable characteristics (They tend to be more creative, spontaneous, quick to humor, they're better able to point out things of interest to you, they're better able to read your emotional state and respond to it, etc.)? I mean, I want to get past this "Aspie" and "NT" dichotomy in viewing this issue and look it as one giant human spectrum, with aspies, on average, possibly being lower on the likability scale than NTs, on average.

I tend to like people who are entertaining but also have some aspie traits that make them less mainstream/more likely to be loners
as then they are mroe likely to come into my orbit

In other words, if a person is entertaining and too 'normal' they aren't going to have much time for me!

So I need a combination of NT quick-wittedness plus some aspie traits so we have enough in common for them not to reject me as boring

I provide the audience for them but tend to be devalued and taken for granted by them

I see it as the price to pay for associating with a wittier person as you can't control people

if I was very attractive I could get access to a greater number of entertaining people but I'm not so I have to make do
with people more on my level

Witty/funny people are often cruel and selfish as well in my experience but they do make you laugh so it's like a trade-off

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Joe90
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27 May 2013, 9:04 am

It always depends on the person. I don't like a person because of their neurology. It's a bit like saying ''I prefer Asian's to English people just because they're Asians.'' I like people from any race, so long as I get on well with them and they like me.

There are a lot of NTs I like and get on well with, and there are some NTs I don't like so much and would rather avoid, but not because they're NTs. Just because I don't like the person.
I don't know many Aspies, but I have an Aspie female friend and she has lots of humour and I love spending time with her. I like her because of her personality and the fact that she likes me and we get on, not so much because she's an Aspie.

That's why, say if I'm fed up with people leaving doors open in the house, I go, ''why do people leave doors open?!'' instead of, ''why do NTs leave doors open?!'' Aspies can be ignorant or annoying just like NTs can.

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27 May 2013, 2:59 pm

No I don't like either one better automatically. It has a lot to do with the personality of the individual.

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