Boss asked me bluntly today "are you autistic?"

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"I'm not diagnosed with any autism spectrum disorder. Feel free to make your own judgements, but I'd appreciate it if you don't share any suspicions you have with anyone. That's a little personal, don't you think???"

That's what I might say, at least if I was in top form, and not inclined to instinctively blurt out a defensive denial, as I'd likely go into a panic if I was put on the spot like that. Of course, even if I did say something like the statement above, I'd probably speak too loudly and quickly, and then be forced to repeat myself. I'm not so great at verbally sharing information. I prefer e-mail for that. Come to think of it, it might be a good idea to plan your response ahead of time, and rehearse beforehand.
Good luck.

Hey, Sparhawke. In certain states, it's actually not legal for a 'superior' (boss, supervisor, manager, etc.) to attempt prying medical/personal facts and/or history from an employee/'subordinate'. And, even in areas where legalities aren't a factor, it's very much generally understood that such questioning is unethical. If you were approaching management for accommodations of some sort, that'd be one thing. But, for a fellow employee (regardless the rank) to initiate such a process (in an unsolicited manner) is something else entirely. At the least, it is an infringement of privacy (a privacy that includes one's personal rights to disclose or withhold personal information...after all, you are NOT obligated to disclose...legally or otherwise) - an infringement that's more threatening due to the fact of any (perceived) power the questioner may have over the employee being questioned (the intimidation being present and not dismissable - WHETHER SUCH INTIMIDATION IS THE INTENT OF THE QUESTIONER, OR NOT). At the worst, the ignoring of an employee's privacy and forging ahead with such questioning raises valid concerns such as (assuming answers are given) how will the information be interpreted (even by those claiming to have 'valuable' experience with accepting/'resolving' such information...which still ignores appropriate protocol concerning the resolution of any work-related difficulties...protocol that would demand, ideally, a third party [preferably an 'advocate' of sorts] to assist your verbal communications while you convey the situation as you see it, HR involvement, and a specifically-trained mediator who's familiarized her/himself with the particulars of YOUR situation [Condition's 'manifestations' AND the tasks inherent to your work position]), how will the information be recorded (and, in this day and age, such information is almost ALWAYS recorded...even if the conversation had seemed 'casual' and 'informal'), in what ways will the information (recorded and otherwise) be perceived and by whom, which business entities would have/be granted access to the information (whether in the present or in the future), what opportunities will be afforded to you to view the recorded info and to correct or add to it as you see fit, the possibility that you're being questioned with an ulterior motive (i.e. maybe the questioner has been considering 'writing up' an employee for perceived insubordination/'rudeness' to others and is trying to find out if there's a disability of sorts before doing so to avoid potential 'complications'...this ulterior motive mechanism has been implemented before in now-known cases of employers seeking out information on employees [such as if they were smokers or not] which, in turn, impacted Insurance benefits) ... and many more questions/concerns.

A business environment, when all is said and done, is NOT a social environment...despite so many business employees trying to make it appear (and feel) so. Without meaning to sound like an alarmist, I would caution anyone that working at a job is a risky 'business' for anyone forgetting (even 'momentarily') that 'whatever you say, can and will be used against you'. These statements come from 25+ years in the workforce (during which I experienced several traumatic situations based on what I'd thought were 'innocent' statements) and are typed here with the best of intentions.

I hope the best for you, SparHawke. And, if your self-preservation instincts are trying to kick in here...that best might include you reasserting some amount of control over the situation. In our current age of HIPPA, who may possess what data for which purpose, ID vulnerabilities (such as 'firewall' carelessness), and an apparently escalating negativity associated with 'Conditions'...being open and 'uncaring' about your sensitive info has significances and results that, compared to even just 10 years ago, may leave you regretting your own sincerity and candidness.

My usual response is "I am what I am". I'm not sure what it means but they generally don't ask again.

Honestly, she's likely violating some sort of privacy regulation some where and with your job it would be hard to come up with an argument for needing to know that information.

now for some humor....my form of humor....at my current stage now I'd be apt to say, "Well, it looks likely and I'm working on getting a solid diagnosis. I'll let you know how that turns out. On a personal note I'm kinda relieved...all these years I suspected I might be some sort of dangerous borderline sociopath, one stressor away from a horrible rampage....(small laugh)....imagine that...(chuckle)...thanks for asking though!" then walk away whistling the theme to the odd couple.

Thanks for all your answers, I will take them under advisement while I figure out what I will be doing. I was actually debating with myself how to broach the subject but thank God now it is out in the open, it is just the follow up that worries me lol

I'd ask her, "What difference would it make if I am? Would you still keep me on the roster?"

I wish I had known earlier, because I was fired from a lot of jobs for Aspie behaviors. It makes me really mad to think back on it.

well, how did you answer? were you not capable of responding?

"Why, yes I am! What gave it away, or why do you ask? Is there something you'd like to ask me about it?"

And take it from there...

Why hide it? It's already there for all to see, it's just that a lot of people don't know what they're seeing. I'd rather help them know what it is, and help them understand it than deny or avoid it. Denying it (or in my case, it was my own ignorance of it until recently), or avoiding it is precisely what causes most of our problems. Others understanding it better, as well as ourselves, is the path to us all getting along better with everyone else.

Ignorance is not bliss, no matter what anyone tells you.

I'd have said yes. Doesn't mean u had to though.

I simply answered in the affirmative, getting quite tired of having to hide away and watching absolutely every mannerism that I have had to do for years, it is hard to relax when you have the ability to scrutinize and monitor everything you do. Nothing is ever spontaneous that way and you endlessly have to second guess yourself and quite frankly by the end of the day you end up knackered lol

Another reason is that now the subject has been brought up I can stop worrying about how to bring up the topic, as I knew I would likely have to in the future...