How does having Aspergers give you a hard time?
All of the above posts and then some.
It would have been easier to answer this if you'd asked how it hasn't affected me negatively.
Holy toledo, what a depressing thread.
You know what though, it's not the AS that affects me negatively, it's the complications caused by others who don't understand it that does.
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I'm not likely to be around much longer. As before when I first signed up here years ago, I'm finding that after a long hiatus, and after only a few days back on here, I'm spending way too much time here again already. So I'm requesting my account be locked, banned or whatever. It's just time. Until then, well, I dunno...
Most difficult?
Probably my lack of effective verbal communication skills. In order to communicate effectively, I have to put my thoughts in writing, but most of the people I work with don't have time to read even one paragraph. If I demonstrate a procedure, and then have one or two of them repeat it, that works. If I try to explain to someone over the phone how to do the same procedure, they get mad at me. Then I have to go out to where they were and demonstrate the procedure, which makes them even more angry because I've just made them feel stupid.
That's why I usually stay in the shop and do write-ups and illustrations, and only go out to the field when someone else has pooched something so badly that I have to go out and make it right.
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swbluto
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Don't lose hope! There's plenty of relatively successful aspies on the forums. There's even more successful aspies than this forum would suggest, it just doesn't seem that way because many of the successful ones don't visit a support forum to begin with.
Great answer.
For me, #1 would be not knowing how to communicate, particularly when meeting new people or talking to people that I'm not close to. Both the inability to converse naturally and the accompanying social terror/anxiety in said situations.
The second biggest aspect, as weird as it sounds for this to be so major, is the blunt facial expression. I'm tired of constantly making sure my eyebrows are raised/forcing my face into an emotive position; it's tiresome, stressful, and uncomfortable. But my natural "expression" looks so incredibly angry/out of it (even though I'm not at all) that I can't just walk around like that. Luckily wearing sunglasses constantly helps.
NZaspiegirl016
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Joined: 10 Oct 2011
Age: 29
Gender: Female
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Location: Somewhere in Aspergian New Zealand
Okay, here goes. The stupid girl at school who likes to bully me, and talks about me "behind my back" In other words, when she thinks I shouldn't be able to hear her, but I actually can. I have even responded to this, and she just said "I wasn't talking to you. Stop eavesdropping" so I've learnt to ignore what she says even though I can still hear it. One day, she talked about everything I was doing as though it was stupid. One boy said to her "You're a bully" and her reply to that was "So, who cares? She hates me anyway!" Yep, she thinks it's okay to be a bully to someone who hates her, even if I hate her BECAUSE she bullied me. Then sometime last week, she was talking to her friend, then I heard" Blah, blah, I was talking about you, not to you!" and I thought she was talking about when I replied to what she's said, and I was thinking, Gosh, that was two terms ago, get over it! For a student in top set (intelligent people) classes with me, she's pretty stupid. One thing I'm happy about is that she's moving away. With any luck, I will never have to see her face again.
So, to sum it up, the thing about AS that annoys me is the bullying that comes with it.
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Jacoby
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Don't lose hope! There's plenty of relatively successful aspies on the forums. There's even more successful aspies than this forum would suggest, it just doesn't seem that way because many of the successful ones don't visit a support forum to begin with.
Those are probably the aspies who's interests is computers and IT.
In short, aspergers makes our life hard, especially in the midst of the human race, because of...
The accompanying anxiety.
bullying that comes with it
not knowing how to communicate
lack of effective verbal communication skills
how easy it is to loose friends
born to be outcasted
continually offend people
overwhelming and I can't focus on the work
gf/bf scenarios generally last about six months ? (wonderful looks like some trend going on here)
cause misunderstandings.
wear a mask
afraid of unfamiliarity
always in tension!
The accompanying anxiety.
bullying that comes with it
not knowing how to communicate
lack of effective verbal communication skills
how easy it is to loose friends
born to be outcasted
continually offend people
overwhelming and I can't focus on the work
gf/bf scenarios generally last about six months ? (wonderful looks like some trend going on here)
cause misunderstandings.
wear a mask
afraid of unfamiliarity
always in tension!
And an odd one, for me at least when it comes to career possibilities:
My sensitivity to touch makes it nearly unbearable for me to wear a suit.
It might be the cut or the fabric of the suit that bothers you? I'm allergic to most synthetic fabrics, including rayon...a well cut suit with a nice snug vest (deep body pressure, anyone?) feels wonderful, though. Needs to be tailored to your proportions, however, or it will pull in an odd manner.
I would suggest Gabardine wool with linen or cotton lining & shirt. Gabardine is so finely woven, it does not itch in the same manner as other wools. It's waterproof as well.
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No dx yet ... AS=171/200,NT=13/200 ... EQ=9/SQ=128 ... AQ=39 ... MB=IntJ
richardbenson
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Joined: 30 Oct 2006
Gender: Male
Posts: 13,553
Location: Leave only a footprint behind
I would like to add a few more things.
I dislike the fact that i have a hard time telling people how I'm feeling. In fact I have never been good at that at all. When trying to tell my mom what I'm feeling and then her saying.
"Well ever one get's sad or what ever all the time."
Really so the other people you a comparing me to were born with the same thing I was born with. I don't want her to see me as having problems. I just want her to stop comparing me to people who don't have the problems or issues I do. In other words don't go up to a blind man and tell him how you feel unless you you're self are blind you have no idea what he goes through.
He does not want any on to feel sorry for him. He just wants people to stop trying to bring them into there world when he knows that will never happen. Same with me I am who I am I'm not any NT this is what I have. I don't want my mom to keep comparing me to her friends who were not born with what I have.
I don't want to her about how my aunt is oh so worried because her son went out and got a girl pregnant and she understands the anxiety I go through because she is going through it. To which I tell or try to tell my mom. "You mean my aunt knows how for the past 30 years of my life I get up worrying about things NTs don't worry about." I wish that was the biggest worry and the only worry I ever had.
I mean if it's raining out I get anxiety over that. I get anxiety over driving and the sun being out. In fact the only thing that I don't have anxiety about is when I play World of Warcraft or any other kind of video game.
I hope I explained that well.
My sensitivity goes to the point that the only bed and covers I can sleep on are my own. Wait let me take the one more step the only bed I can sleep in at all is my own bed.
Also out unless it is a brown or dark brown color or any off black kind of black not really black I can not sit in most leather seats. So you can only image what it's like for me on planes or getting into cars with red, blue, etc seats. Oh and if it moves forget it. There are so many things I don't like when it comes to touch.
I don't actually know if I'm an Aspie or not just suspect I might be so really this answer is things that I find difficult in life.
Socialising in any way shape or form. I hate that I can't make / keep friends, I hate not being able to communicate properly because of my anxiety in social situations. My over analyzing of every single word that is said in conversation. Running through everything I could say in response, what that person will respond with, scenarios etc etc until by the time I'm ready to join the conversation it has moved on. This also happens online on forums, I will spend hours reading the forums I'm a member of but very rarely post, again because of the potential outcome of responses how people may mis-interpret what I'm saying and get offended /annoyed / think I'm weird. So I go through bouts of posting alot (usually with too much info / far too long responses) and then completely shutting down and disappearing for months unable to really converse with anyone, online or otherwise.
Touching, either certain things touching me in certain ways or me touching other things, sometimes I have to touch something a number of times or in a certain way or I just feel wrong. This results in me doing several patterns with my hands, toes, tongue and inevitably leads to me also scratching a certain area over and over until it bleeds. Or my current trend of removing dry skin/wax/whatever it is from my ears, poking them several times a day with cotton buds (Q.tips) until it gets so bad they hurt and / or bleed. Or if someone (other then my husband or daughter) touches me it freaks me out and hugs...forget it, my mother in law is very touchy feely and so whenever something emotional happens I avoid her like the plague because she will be straight in to give me a hug. I haven't narrowed it down but certain...not fabrics because it could be plastic wrappings or anything really but things set me off and make my hands / whatever body part it's touched feel weird and wrong and I can't shake it it's horrible.
The meltdowns and aftermath - How even now as a woman almost in her 30's I can still get in a huge hissy fit over absolutely nothing but at the time it feels like a big deal and only after when it's passed do I feel like a complete jerk, swear to myself it will never happen again but it always does.
My obsessive but non sticking to nature. I will find a new hobby, interest or 'thing' obsessive over it, spend pretty much every waking moment focused on that and then it passes, it could be weeks, months or years but it always passes. My current (that I know will be short lived) obsession is playstation 3 games, I ordered a PS3 for my husband's birthday that's coming up in December and I decided I'd get him 2 or 3 games to go with it, that 2 or 3 has turned into 19 and I'm on ebay, play, amazon etc daily looking for cheap games. A few years ago I was obsessed with fish keeping, I had 7 tanks and kept looking for more, I would spend hours on fishkeeping and aquascaping forums, subscribed to magazines, setup a youtube channel explaining how to breed certain things. I would spend hours cleaning, pruning, filming and talking about everything relating to fish, now I don't care about them and gave them all away a long time ago. Anyway the main problem is the money side of it, because most of my obsessions cost money and lots of it, I easily spent £10,000 on my fish over the years I had them, plants, tanks etc and in the end practically gave them all away, so this part of me is financially crippling.
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Why do I try too hard to fit in with everyone else? |
06 Sep 2024, 1:22 pm |
uhhh! grr why wont SSi give me the proper amount of money. |
01 Sep 2024, 3:37 am |
Sure seems like a lot of first time posters |
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You either have the time and no money or money and no time |
09 Oct 2024, 4:02 am |