Can someone explain why people dont wanna hang out with me?

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Nobody can tell you without seeing you in person. You may just lack some nuanced social skills type thing or you may be an ass. Problem with people who are ASD is that they typically have poor self perception. Actually that is true of a lot of NTs too. What you think you are and how you are sometimes differ...

You might try asking family or really good friends to help you. Or you may try finding a "higher" order of people to hang around. When I landed in High Tech all my "fitting in" worries disappeared...

That's what gets me. People ask me to hang out but I hate going out and they hate me for it. I have people tell others behind my back that think I am too good to hang out with them. If I go out with them it would kill my nerves and cause multiple spikes in my blood pressure for as long as I hang out with them.

Yeah, I try not to be unfriendly, but I never socialize with people from work, outside of work. I don't mind the occasional chat during a break though.

People have said that I think I'm too good to hang out with them too. It was a huge problem for me in high school and I lost some friends because of it, and some even decided to try to get "revenge" on me. But in that case I *did* want to hang out with them and wasn't allowed to.

Now I have nicer, more true friends who will just tell me that if I say no too many times they won't invite me out, because they'll assume I don't want to go. So I try to make sure to hang out with them once in a while or invite them over. I get exhausted from being around a lot of people/out in public though. I know some people who go out every night but I just can't.

That happens with me too, even with generally nice people. Well, I do see some friends, but the type who stick with me are either clingy, or non-NTs (but not necessarily Aspies), men who fancy me, foreign people who don't know much English (because they're too busy worrying about how they're communicating instead of noticing silly little quirks in me) or religeous people who believe in looking for niceness in people instead of popularity.


I feel like this too. I feel that everybody are just acquatencies or ''workfriends''. But I know some NTs who don't see people from work outside of work, only on the odd occasion like at Christmas meals, etc.


I'm the type of Aspie who is aware of any quirks and can work on them easily by mimicking NT behaviour, and I'm good at covering up my AS too.


Sometimes, with myself, I wonder if it's because I'm ''too boring''. I'm not really into celebrities, make-up, hairstyles, shopping, etc. I'm not really into anything really. Plus I don't really know much. So I've got nothing to say really. I can only do small talk, otherwise I'd just be going on about myself, what others don't always want to hear all the time. Also I find it hard to ask people questions when they're talking, which looks like I'm not interested, but I am, it's just that I don't ask them many questions about themselves. I know people can get a bit funny over that, because even my mum comments on people who don't ask her questions back, and I have to keep explaining to her that it's not that they're not interested, it's probably because they lack that part of interaction. Not everybody's the same.


I got that at school. People liked me, but didn't want to hang out with me. There was one girl who would rather hang out with this bully than with me, and I could tell she liked me better. And people used to get asked why they were sitting next to me in class, and the person next to me never knew what to answer. That made me feel upset.


This. And then they say it's Aspies who are socially immature....?


I've stopped blaming all of my social issues on my body language. It's gotten me too paranoid, and has made me feel even more awkward than ever. Maybe it's what I wrote above, about your knowledge and interests? Most other people hear gossip about celebrities or what is happening in the world. I now watch the news more, because you get a lot of information to talk about from the news. You could say, ''did you hear about that Earthquake in Japan?'' or if somebody said, ''I'm going on holiday to Tenerif next month'' you could make a joke and say, ''mind you don't get your head cut off!'', referring to the 60-year-old woman who got her head cut off in a shop earlier on this year. I've tried that one, and the other person laughed warmly at the joke. Stuff like that brings social attention more better. I know it's hard to say things at the right times and everything, but those are some examples what I've tried and it's worked.

Maybe some people would like to.

I think some of my NT-ness is showing. I like to read silly celebrity magazines- makes it a lot easier on the rare occasions that I actually go walk on the treadmill. But it doesn't really help my social life. I attract people that don't realize that people can have more than one aspect to their personality. They yell at me and say they are too smart to care about celebrities, or that I shouldn't do that because I went to college.

I like to put red highlights in my hair too (not natural red, more like burgundy) and I get a lot of crap for it.

But then I meet people who think I'm boring or depressing because I like to watch the news or shows like Intervention. It's like I can't ever find the people who think I am doing something right.

I'm not good at asking questions either. When I meet someone new I feel like they're interviewing me and eventually I'll answer "wrong" and they'll get sick of me. I don't know what to ask people except "Ok, what about you" when they ask me something. And since I'm an only child and my grandparents raised me I tend to get depressed when people talk about their families a whole lot or (even if they don't know my grandparents raised me) they start acting weird because I don't have siblings and accuse me of being lonely and stuff.