Do NT's despise those who are different?

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Robdemanc
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19 Nov 2011, 4:21 pm

Pack mentality always hates people who are different. They are the herd, we are the individuals.



Burnbridge
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19 Nov 2011, 4:25 pm

Quote:
They are the herd, we are the individuals.


"Them against us" is herd mentality though, isn't it?


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readingbetweenlines
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19 Nov 2011, 4:41 pm

Burnbridge wrote:
Quote:
They are the herd, we are the individuals.


"Them against us" is herd mentality though, isn't it?

Yes, it is.

There are enough barriers between people already, I didn't realise WP was the place to create some superfluous new ones.

I've already been slammed on another thread for failing to accept my (NT) herd membership.(sorry, off topic)

Hey-ho. Or should that be baaaaa...


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SyphonFilter
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19 Nov 2011, 4:54 pm

MrXxx wrote:
No! Individuals may, but to state that all NT's do is judgmental. It's just as bad as saying all Aspies are incapable of empathy.
Exactly. In fact, one of my NT brothers works with handicapped people. That's what he gets paid for. He wouldn't do the job if he despised everyone who was "different".



Joe90
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19 Nov 2011, 5:20 pm

SyphonFilter wrote:
MrXxx wrote:
No! Individuals may, but to state that all NT's do is judgmental. It's just as bad as saying all Aspies are incapable of empathy.
Exactly. In fact, one of my NT brothers works with handicapped people. That's what he gets paid for. He wouldn't do the job if he despised everyone who was "different".


This is true.
My auntie is a very ''typical'' NT, and I admire her social skills because she works as a customer service advisor and is so chatty and friendly and cheerful to the customers, and gives off all the right impressions, etc. But there are a few colleagues of hers who are quite weird (not Aspies, they are just different in some other way), and she says that they are very interesting people and she helps them out a lot and really likes them. She says to me that she reckons that one of them might actually have Autistic traits, but she likes her an awful lot, and hates people who are unfair to her.


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19 Nov 2011, 5:22 pm

Like I said, it's all individual. Contrary to the popular belief here, there are many quirky, socially awkward, shy and nonconformist NTs. On the other hand, there are many Aspies who dislike those who are different than them (NTs, for a start).

So, it's all down to a person in question.



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19 Nov 2011, 5:38 pm

Yes. It is fear. Fear... They are scared that we won't accept them. Which to be fair we are pretty hard to read, and tend to be mean without meaning it.

I find I don't want to accept them, personally. They just don't mesh with me very well. This coming from personal experience. I dropped out of school in 9th grade because the students feared my will for defiance, and the public school system did nothing for me. They couldn't handle me. Which is okay, because right now I may not be the success story yet, I am on an intellectual level higher than a lot of college alumnis let alone highschool graduates.

Just a hungry shark, trailing the scent of blood, looking for the next meal. Words will carry me. Words will carry us. Test the skills, just a test to kill.


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pensieve
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19 Nov 2011, 6:38 pm

Some people have rejected me just for being different, even wearing different clothes. Other people just try to ignore it and invite me in but soon they are picking at my differences.

A very select few are accepting that aren't in my family.


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artrat
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19 Nov 2011, 9:34 pm

readingbetweenlines wrote:
artrat wrote:
NT's fear people who are different. I really think they are afraid of mentally challenged people. They are uncomfortable and feel threatened.

Feeling uncomfortable is not the same as despising people.
Feeling threatened is not the same as despising people.

Bigotry is not exclusive to NTs. This thread may yet prove it.


I think you misunderstood me or I expressed myself wrong.
I know the meaning of the words despise,threaten and uncomfortable. I am not stupid.
I have family members that are afraid of mentally challenged people so I used that as an example. I know people would not know that and I should have explained it in the first place.
I said uncomfortable and threatened because they also feel that way.
I feel very offended. :evil:
Are you the kind of person that corrects people's spelling and grammer on the internet?



NZaspiegirl016
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19 Nov 2011, 11:03 pm

Well, some NT's hate people who are different, but not all do. And yes, there are some of us who dislike NT's as someone else said here. I only dislike the people who dislike me. The ones who bully me because I'm different. The one person who bullies me the most even talks about what I'm doing if NT's do it too, like playing with pens when I'm bored. I've seen some of my NT classmates do this, but there's no gossip about them is there?

But I'm okay with NT's not accpeting me. I get along with people who are different better, like my friend Michael, who is LFA. But it's when they start to bully me that I begin to dislike them. They choose how it's going to be. If they like me, I like them. If they dislike me, I dislike them.


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20 Nov 2011, 1:50 am

A lot of people fear what they don't understand. It's our job to help them to understand. Some people will want to learn and other people won't. The people who don't want to learn will have their ignorance catch up to them in one way or another.

My dad picked on people with disabilities when he was a teenager and he ended up being a dad to someone on the Autistic Spectrum - me.


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20 Nov 2011, 3:25 am

NTs have idealisms about the way society should be so they consider us freaks of society. So those who don't conform get hated, thought of as weird, freaks, looked down upon, get trashed etc.



pastafarian
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20 Nov 2011, 3:56 am

readingbetweenlines wrote:
artrat wrote:
NT's fear people who are different. I really think they are afraid of mentally challenged people. They are uncomfortable and feel threatened.

Feeling uncomfortable is not the same as despising people.
Feeling threatened is not the same as despising people.

Bigotry is not exclusive to NTs. This thread may yet prove it.


Exactly, there is bigotry, stupidity, naivity and hatred on this site - as there will be in any group of human beings. WP is great for learning from commonality, but the differences between one Aspie and another are often much greater that between an Aspei and an NT.

This 'them and us' thing is so divisive. People who dont get that yet and feel its 'Aspie strengths versus NT weakness', have to try to grow out of any bitterness (caused by an NT world).

'Aspies' are not some homogeneous bunch full of pure love and superior morals to NTs. ***Thats bollocks. ***

NTs are not some homogeneous bunch either. The commonality between me (NT) and many people on here is greater than that between me (NT) and many NTs. The differences between one WP member and another is much greater than between many Aspies and NTs.

You have to start with that, or nobody will learn anything.



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20 Nov 2011, 4:44 am

One thing baffles me.In a christian country(even though they are heretics they got some of what are considered virtues)aren't they supposed to at least try to be good and tolerant?Or are they just christians in name and not in action?Excpet if they are atheists.Which proves atheism=evil.



readingbetweenlines
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20 Nov 2011, 4:47 am

artrat wrote:
readingbetweenlines wrote:
artrat wrote:
NT's fear people who are different. I really think they are afraid of mentally challenged people. They are uncomfortable and feel threatened.

Feeling uncomfortable is not the same as despising people.
Feeling threatened is not the same as despising people.

Bigotry is not exclusive to NTs. This thread may yet prove it.


I think you misunderstood me or I expressed myself wrong.
I know the meaning of the words despise,threaten and uncomfortable. I am not stupid.
I have family members that are afraid of mentally challenged people so I used that as an example. I know people would not know that and I should have explained it in the first place.
I said uncomfortable and threatened because they also feel that way.
I feel very offended. :evil:
Are you the kind of person that corrects people's spelling and grammer on the internet?

No, I was trying (and clearly failing) to say that discomfort and feeling threatened ale emotions that are a long way from despising people. Yes they are emotions that some NTs have, about people who are different, as well as about people who are not different.

I am sorry if I offended you. That was not my intention.

At the time of posting I was getting rather frustrated with blanket statements being made about groups which at the end of the day are more alike than they are different.

When you said NTs fear people etc they are this and they feel that it came across as the kind of generalisation that is unhelpful. One is very carefully warned not to generalise about AS but it occasionally feels like NTs are fair game. But I made the cardinal mistake of posting in anger and that I shouldn't have done.

The part of my post about bigotry was no longer in response to your post but I can't seem to work out how to get multiple quotes from different posters into the same response. Any advice on this is welcome. I could and should have made this clear in the post.


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Stefan10
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20 Nov 2011, 4:54 am

Well this is my first post here, and I thought I'd explain my situation while specifying how I've been treated by people who seem to have normal capabilities, or what I've recently come to learn through these forums and through research, as people called Neurotypicals. I went 18 years(or rather since I became conscious of my consciousness) without noticing that I had distinctions rooted in the way I think due from a significant deviated development of my brain, although I did notice that I didn't find solace in groups like others did, I had especially developed interests, and that I had trouble understanding the behavior of individuals without extensive studying or questioning. It was only until last week, and by accident, that I discovered a title to give to my ability to process varying information. The traits that I recognize now as Aspie traits, were what I thought to be traits inherent to my personality type and an effect of my pursued seclusion. Throughout my life, all of my socialization has been initiated by others. The majority of it was through my family and very close childhood friends of my family, but I have had various casual friends from school, with whom I started to speak to only based on necessity or because of my special interests, develop relationships with me with much more depth to the point where they practically forced me to socialize, although I wouldn't say that is necessarily or totally a bad thing. A neighbor of mine, and an obvious, very extrovert NT, with whom I've spent and I'm still spending my high school years with has helped me truly develop social skills I otherwise would not have. I am what I assume would be labeled as a quiet Aspie. I recognized very early on that, for me, socialization isn't something natural but more of a developed skill. I believed this was the case for all people for the majority of my life, and I only assumed that just like any other skill-set, different people had different natural abilities in socialization. I never really attributed my traits with autism, but in actuality I was ignorant of autism like the average individual tends to be and never really considered myself to be anywhere near the stereotypical case. However and back to the point, I did recognize as an older child(probably about 3rd grade or 4th grade) that socialization was far more difficult for me than for others, and have since interacted very cautiously when forced into social events with other people. Luckily, I have never encountered severe bullying throughout my life(although I have to admit that I have changed myself from familial pressure), and while I think most other children recognized that the things that I pursued in life were different from those which they hold value to, they seemed to have - like myself -attributed this to my intelligence and in effect, I happily remained invisible. This isn't to say that my Aspie traits aren't obvious when I do socialize, but just that I don't socialize with people until I get to know them and determine what I can "let out" about myself and with what pace as to not frighten them.

For example, this neighbor I previously mentioned was just a partner in a science competition when I first interacted with her. She gained respect for me because I proved myself helpful and useful as a partner, I think. We also had a common companion whom she was really close to, and somebody who I relied on for social guidance(I always had at least one of these people; during elementary school it was my step-sister, during middle school it was this common friend of mine and my neighbor, and during high school it is this neighbor.) Eventually, it was as easy as her revealing more about her life to me, and even if I didn't console her like a normal person would when she was stressed emotionally, she seemed to enjoy the logical replies that I reciprocated with. Now, she often asks me to go to social events which I would otherwise choose not to go to, or if I did wish to go to them I wouldn't know where to start in achieving this targeted goal without her help. I often ask her questions about what I should do in a social situation, and she is very patient and bearable with my - what I assume to be child-like - insistence to learn what to do in a social situation; she proves to be my most useful tool in achieving success socially. This is almost as if she is an encyclopedia or book of tips from which I can learn what to do. I don't think I've ever noticed her become impatient with me when I ask a question of what I should do, probably because to her, paraphrasing her description, I present myself as "quiet", "kind," and "sweet" I suppose. Now I'm so comfortable with her, that I even allow myself to act naturally - even enough so that I can talk about my special interests, although I don't know if she gets bored of them or not; she never seems to tell me to stop. I think she actually likes that I am unique and different. She often criticizes the behavior of the common NT high school student as well. She tells me that I am the only friend of hers where there is no "drama." The other NTs I am friends with sometimes tease or joke around about how "different" or "awkward" I am, but other than a bit of confusion in their logic, I don't really get bothered by this. One thing they often say is that I am no fun, and that I ruin jokes, but they still socialize with me nevertheless it seems; so I guess it doesn't bother them so much that they would ostracize me. I find the people I like the best are the ones that I can have conversations with about the topics I read or learn about, or other interests I have, and they are the ones who are usually more accepting or understanding I suppose. However, unlike many of you seem to wish for, I am never heavily enticed to socialize, and more often than not I need my time alone. Every once in a while however, I feel as if I need to experience something with another person I guess, but this feeling is very rare. I think it is in this instance where my disorder is severe, and it is this that will be my biggest obstacle; to actually want friends for socialization rather than to want friends in order to use them to express my interests or to succeed in things that are required in life, but I have weaknesses in. This obstacle is much greater than my inability to conform, as I essentially have and will always be able to teach myself to make friends, which seems possible.

So I guess to make this post a little less about me? I believe that if you don't overwhelm NTs with a multitude of distinctions from the common, NTs can be open to accepting someone who is different. It just takes a lot of effort to forcefully inhibit your natural reactions so that they don't become evident all at once. Eventually they seem to gain enough information about you to know what kind of person you are, and it is then when you can truly be yourself AND achieve a loyal friendship. How long this takes is dependent on the NT, because like people with autism, they are all different. I see people as people, and then I see my individuality in relation to groups. I find it hard to categorize two groups without any specific defining traits based on their ability to process types of information, and if there is any trait of mine that I'd consider vastly different from the normal individual, I'd say it is my obsession with categorizing everything and everyone so that I can more easily learn the details, and then later refine the categories based on the details. I guess I understand how somebody can come to the conclusion that all NTs are against people who are different if they've experienced intense bullying without anybody to contradict such a stereotype though. Remember this, not all NTs are shallow people based around grouping and conformation. Many if not most NTs have unique personalities, faults, and uncertainties of their own. From what I've observed, very few people fit well in to a stereotype, and the only distinction is how much you deviate from the stereotypical behavior. As for what qualifies an NT in relation to an Aspie; I think the core of it is the logical and systematic approach to things that affect perception and ability to perceive different aspects of the world: in one instance there is an attention toward other people while in the other it is a refinement of detail. Everybody is somewhere between these two extremes, a balanced and I suppose stereotypical person is in the middle of both. It is when the natural abilities affect the functionality of a person that the labels are necessary. Otherwise it is just a categorization for the sake of understanding, which I have to say is great in itself. ;)