Am I an unusual high functioning aspie?

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Asperger's only exists because people were impaired enough to need help. You don't get diagnosed with social anxiety after you get over it. I don't want to start a giant flame war (which I'll probably ignore anyway) but you need some impairment in your life to be diagnosed. Partly it's why Asperger's is being merged with high functioning autism.

I just don't know why people would get diagnosed with something that doesn't interfere in their lives. Asperger's isn't some badge you wear proudly, it's a neurological disorder which is a b***h to live with.

Bleh Im not wearing it as a badge. Not getting it diagnosed dosent mean its not there. I went to get diagnosed simply because it seemed I had it. Yes I have had problems but I overcame them myself in my younger years. Aspergers is a part of who we are regardless of whether its effects suck ass or not. Also mine do in certain situations. I have anxiety, I freak out from anxiety on occasion. Can I manage it? Yes.

You sound like a good friend to have. Whenever I am having a serious problem I prefer someone to discuss things with that is calm and rational. I just can't cope when people get all emotional about stuff, when I have a serious problem. It makes me very stressed.

Thanks. Though sometimes my friend accuses me of being too analytical and not supportive enough.
Now we have an agreement that she tells me beforehand if all she wants is support and not real help or advice.

For me, I think it would depend on the context. I might pass for normal if I am around geeky people, otherwise I am pretty awkward. I am okay in a workplace setting or maybe one-to-one conversations, but I don't do group situations well at all.

I was somewhat of mess socially as a kid. My attitude was: if you don't like me than I don't care. So I had no desire to learn social skills in my teen years. I had some oddball people that accepted me for who I was. I grew up before the term "asperger" was a diagnosis, but I had all the typical traits growing up.

My social attitude changed as I became an adult, because I realized that I need some good social skills to be employable. So I learned how to deal with people because it allowed me to keep jobs better that way. I tried to pick jobs that were solitary at first, but that only works to a point. Being polite and dependable gets you most of the way there.
I really am happy that I never had to "fake it" to gain some superficial friends--the desire was just not there. I would rather have no friends than do that.
Over the years I have picked up a few very good friends and socially things are good. I don't have and have never had a girlfriend but I really don't want one either.
I often find myself asking "why does someone do that?" a lot. In fact, I find the study of human behavior fascinating.

I actually prefer people being analytical, especially if they truly care. I find it comforting. Even if I already know the answers it's nice to share. If I am very stressed, the last thing I want is someone throwing emotion at me--it worsens things.

I feel the same way. I haven't found a job yet, but I don't see why I wouldn't keep in one. I've done work experiences before and I kept in my voluntary job for 3 years (and been going in every single week) but I only gave that up because I wanted to move on, and I was going on courses to help me find work (I am actually struggling with finding a job, but my therapists and my personal employment advisor say that I will be less anxious and more settled once I find a job because it's security and routine what keeps my mind more at ease).

I have no trouble with body language or anything else like that. My mum even said that when I was just 2 and a half, I pointed to a woman on the TV who was about to cry, and I said, ''mummy, why is that lady sad?''
I also like to express my feelings, and I have panic attacks if I CAN'T express my feelings.
I don't stim either, only when I'm in a really happy mood, but I don't ever stim when I'm angry or having a panic attack.
I don't care being touched.
I notice details in people and their behaviour, etc, not so much in objects. Sometimes I like to find details on objects, but I don't notice them first. I usually notice the big picture first, and only look for details if I intend to.
I don't lack theory of mind. I even passed the Sally Anne test when I was 6.
My obsessions are all revolved around people and social interaction in some way.
I have trouble with loud noise, but sometimes I wonder if it's because I suffer with my nerves.

In fact, if I told someone that I suffer with my nerves, they will believe and understand me more than if I said I have a mild form of Autism. So sometimes I wonder if I was really born with AS, but if they only very first recognised my traits when I was 4, and diagnosed me at 8, then I must have AS. But they always said that I have it very mildly. If I didn't have this anxiety disorder and a fragile nervous system, I would probably be like a socially awkward NT, or an NT with borderline AS or something like that. It's my anxiety and my nerves and my Social Phobia what seem to bring out the Aspie traits more.

I'm in a similar situation.
I have only had two jobs over the last two years (one for six years, the other I'm still doing), and I get along with both my current and former co-workers quite well.
I don't have any "close" friends, but there are some people I will hang out with occasionally and have a reasonably healthy social life
No girlfriend or dating experience yet, but I'm hoping that will change someday. I do not experience physical attraction to others like most people and I'm only just starting to notice some of the signs that others might be attracted to me.
Sensory issues are minor
I can pick up some emotions in people, but face blindness still gets in the way a lot. Voices are easier to recognize and interpret than body language. Reading eyes is something I simply cannot do.
Meltdowns are very rare

When I was in high school, things were different. I was an outcast and had no friends whatsoever. I got along with teachers just fine, but was stressed and depressed otherwise.

I'd say I "can" relate to you but it took me a lot of work to get to this point. I dont have as good as a handle as you do but I have close friends, I can read people ok(not good) and I know social theory(theory not practice) inside and out to the point where I know more then my NT friends. I used to be super socially awkward, back when I was diagnosed at 18. I dont have meltdowns either, I have very similar to what u describe, we can call them breakdowns. But then I worked myself so hard to get to this point. So did u work yourself so hard to get to this point or did u more or less "outgrow" aspergers.

Socially yes Ive worked at it. I was a mess in junior high and in early high school years. There are lots of things in my life that I think unintentionally helped me for everything else. My mother was often mean and hurtful about the weird things and stim behaviors I had when I was younger. What she said effected me quite a bit and left a very sore mark that made my hyper aware of everything I was doing. One time when I was 8 or 9 before we entered her salon she said "You never talk or look at anyone that works in the salon they are going to think you're ret*d" I had trouble greeting people and always adverted my eyes from them even until high school. Slowly Ive worked on it but I think its still partially a effort to do so.

In my early high school years I had a best friend who pointed out all the rude things I did without me realizing I did them. I never hung out with friends until high school so I had no idea of how to act in someone elses house. Every time I went I would sweat and be extremely nervous and anxious.

My nana(grandmother) was wonderful for me when I was in my toddler years. She knew how to take care of me and did a lot of things that sort of resembol early intervention today.

In elementary I tested out a social skills on the playground. My personality and the things I would say and do were made up of things I had watched characters on cartoons do last night. I was act a way to try and figure out what was right and I learned a lot from it. I used to treat everything as if it was a play and I was just figuring out how to fit in.

As for boys it took me a long while to get that down. My understanding of how to flirt and attain a relationship all came from tv and movies. I was disastrously shy though myself. I had my first kiss when I was 17 but that went nowhere. Then after two more attempts to attain a crush that crashed and burned I found the person I am currently with last year. For a few months we were just friends but it slowly became what it is now. It was more or less a accident actually. He's the only person who Im comfortable with and he understands me very well. Ive never had anything remotely like this with anyone else.

Now for jobs. I started applying when I was 16. I finally got one at 19. It took me three years, I knew everyone thought I was awkward at interviews or even just when handing in the application. No one seemed to want me. I became incredibly frustrated because I was so ready and I must have put in 40 applications in one year and gotten only 2 interviews which went nowhere. But all that time applying and having interviews gave me practice to act "normal" enough. I made a effort to open my eyes and talk loud and with enthusiasm anytime I went into a store to apply. After being done with them I would revert back to my usual state and be completely exhausted from it.

One thing I still have to work on is organization. I literally cant do anything until my routine is complete but every now and then my routine breaks down and I have to find a new one. During this time period everything becomes chaos. Almost disgustingly so. Im currently in one of this right now. I dont do anything, I WANT to, but I just cant. If I put a large amount of effort I can push myself and maybe do one simple thing but them Im out for the day. Its pathetic but Im working on it.

Why isn't "I can maintain my job" bolded? You work as a cashier.

I'd say, at this point, you have something like residual Asperger's. In other words, you have the autistic neurology but at this point you aren't truly disabled by it. You mentioned that someone doesn't have to have massive problems in one or more areas to be diagnosed- actually, you do. Without clinicially significant problems in one or more areas, you don't have a disorder. You can have traits or residual of the disorder, but not the disorder itself.

Disability is subjective. Maybe the person who diagnosised felt you had clinically significant problems even if you didn't.

Perhaps

Oh yes I can maintain a job technically. In terms of long term, idk. Its my first job where the boss wasn't super generous. My other jobs, the bosses were super generous and nice and let me get away with absolutely everything. I've been working at the job for 3-4 months, not long term. I was thinking in terms of too literally. It took me 2 months to get my work(customer service) up to an acceptable level. My current employer takes lots of people with disabilities and I had to disclose to not get fired.

The other jobs I had was an understanding boss who could have fired me for my meltdowns and being too rigid with my work and questioning authority and getting massive complaints for my "rude" behavior because I didn't know where to keep my laundry cart. The second time the office clerk could have complained to my boss about me instead of covering my tracks. The third time, I work for a company that is for people with disabilities and to me that is me maintaining my job. My last two jobs lasted nor more than three years, the first one lasted almost two years but I was laid off due to slowness and the second time was also slowness and both reasons were for less guests coming to stay. I worked at a hotel at my last two jobs. Less guess, things are slow, more guests, things are busy and more work to do.


Maintaining a job or not, there can still be impairments, it just takes a understanding boss or someone to cover your tracks and it takes luck. Or just having a job that is through voc rehab and to me that counts as maintaining a job since they are keeping one. What is the literal term for "maintaining a job?" How is it taken literal?