My Mom hates my Aspergers

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my mum used to say really hurtful things to me if i did something weird when stressed like 'this is not ur aspergers, this is you' which was really hurtful. but that was a few years ago when i was first diagnosed, now she understands alot more and realises thats its a part of me and always will be, so to speak, and is very supportive of me . maybe if u got her to read some literature on AS it might help her to understand ur needs better so that she would be more understanding, it worked wonders with my mother just reading a book by tony attwood i think it was. Maybe she does just need counselling with someone who understands, it would make both ur lives much better.

hope u make progress with this, because having ur family around and understanding what ur going through really helps, i wish you good luck =)

She is currently counseling with a psychologist right now. Even when she does meet me, she still denies it. I fear that she will deny it until the day she dies. If so, that is her problem, not mine. I do not care what she thinks of me, as all I heard from her about my aspergers was negative. I will not let her hurt my feelings, as I will ignore her if she cannot accept the fact that it is part of me, and it makes me unique, and without it, I would not be myself. I would be someone else.

Well, no offense whatsoever to you, but, if your mom hates your AS, then I hate your mom.
Based on what you've related here, she sounds like an unreasonable, unreasoning pain in the ass and as such, she can kiss my butt.
Honestly, hearing how some of y'alls parents react to this makes me want to clone my mom and dad and share them with you.

There is a contradiction here, and I'm not sure I can solve it. I'd like to point it out, though, in the hope that someone can come up with a solution...

The basic problem is that the Mother cannot cope with the idea of Gwenfloor's AS being intrinsic to his being. She would rather treat it as an external factor like, I dunno, a naughty puppy.

As a result she has been comprehensively slagged off by most of the people on this thread. I can understand why, and I don't believe she is right. HOWEVER I feel it is worth remembering that other people can't always cope with psychological conditions very well. Sometimes they need to categorize and belittle a threatening condition in order to cope with the idea of it. This is the contradiction. On the one hand we are asking for complete blanket acceptance of Gwenfloor's condition but at the same time we are criticising his Mum for being weak.

Bullying is often a mask for insecurity. I think your Mum is having real problems getting her head around all of this. Try to explain it as best you can. Explain that it is not her fault, and that AS isn't something you can turn on and off like a lightbulb - it runs much deeper. This is me, this is who I am. It may sound strange but it could be your Mum who needs support and encouragement to accept this. Just because she's an NT doesn't mean that everything is easy for her.

If all else fails, print thie entire debate out and leave it on the kitchen table. At least she'll know how you feel, then.

Wait a moment--why do you say that the AS is a result of Mom's actions? It's genetic, not caused by anything the mother does (except for picking the father, of course).

Exactly.. she picked the father and whos genetics would be mixed with hers to create an offspring.. if that offspring is genetically abnormal its because of her poor choice.

Just because something doesnt turn out how you planned or you didnt have all the information doesnt make the results of your actions any less your responsibility

My Mom used to hate my AS when I was a kid. She would get mad at me for having obsessions when I was between the ages of eight and thirteen. I've felt that I was this unwanted, ret*d loser even though my Grades were okay.

Now she actually loves my AS. Especially when I show her a toy vintage Double Decker that I've bought at a Hobby Store or a Thrift Store. I think she's now thrilled that I've managed to keep my Charm, in a world of Sluts, Hippies and Gangsters.

My mom is totally fine with my AS.

My grandpa refuses to acknowledge it exists, but thats mostly due to combined factors of being from a less-informed generation and him having way too many AS symptoms to not be diagnosed himself.

It is not a problem for me anymore. I do not care what she thinks.

Yes. My 'mother' as well hates me. My 2 brothers were in a car accident that left my 19 yr old bro paralyzed from a broken back. The other bro driving was drunk and lost control of the car. The bro driving sustained a head injury, in a coma for several months.. Etc... As a 15 year old Aspie, my sister and I heard the crash...informed our parents (we were having a sleep over on our porch) 'dad' went down to crash site, came back and said It was the 'boys'.
Here's the narrative at the hospital (insisted I go),, ''mother" crying in waiting room, my attempt to comfort and hug her resulted in her response: " it should have been you".

Never understood that statement until today. I am now 52 years old.

THAT statement ruined my life. Attempts to tell this "mother" that her statement over the years resulted in her response: "I was Out of my mind with grief ". NO 'sorry' NO apology.

That was 37 yrs ago...

That statement killed me. Inside. The lack of apology from "mother" devasted my whole being.

With that said, I now know that that person truly meant what she said that day.

Autistic people are hated, shunned & astrazied, ...her name is Judith Ann Ohngen Sassee

At least you still have a mother. I met mine when I was 22. She had another son. After a few weeks with her she told me that she didn't like me as a baby and she didn't like me now.
That hurt me a lot and I felt very empty as I drove back to my place.
I never saw her again.