Need space to myself.

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When I need to do complicated-looking practical things I just tell my girlfriend it's too complicated and that I can't cope, even though I probably could. She then says "How can anyone possibly find that complicated, you must have Aspergers" and does it for me. Years ago I bought an apartment, thinking it would be great to have my own space. I then found myself standing helplessly in the middle of an empty apartment with no idea how to do even the simplest things to make it inhabitable. A year later there was still no carpet in the living room.

Well, a lot of times it's not that I can't do things, but that I need how to do them spelled out explicitly. Without explicit instructions, sometimes stuff is just too confusing or frustrating. I remember having issues with things like this for years, and people would be incredulous that I'd have trouble with what they perceived as simple instructions, but the instructions always left things out that I couldn't assume, you know?

I also have a lot of trouble with disorganization, and while Ritalin helps with many things, it hasn't done much for that particular problem.

I can't understand spoken instructions. My girlfriend draws pictures of things, for example a broom and a cloth and a bucket of water to show that to clean the floor you need to put the cloth in the bucket and then put it under the broom. The same with computers and telephones and things like that. I have a big pile of lists of instructions from her about how to do things, on different-coloured pieces of memo paper, some of them blue some of them red and some of them white or yellow.

I'm completely disorganised too.

I totally need my own space. I'm right now in a situation where I can hardly have any space to myself anymore, and I don't have the financial means(now or in the near future) to get me out of this situation, and it's driving me up the wall. The worse part of it is that nobody understands it. I get called melodramatic, as if it's impossible for me to actually feel this bad in a situation that might be an easy life for others. that of course make me feel even worse about myself.

If I can have some time and space to myself, I can manage to function in family and social situation at an acceptable level for a limited period of time. But when I can't have that, my functioning level just falls lower and lower and I can handle less and less. But people expect the same level of functioning of me. I've been doing a full-time internship the last few weeks(because obviously I need to get a job), while continuing the situation of living with other people. I am very worried, because I can feel myself falling apart again. I am dealing with acute stress and increasing signs of depression(which are worsened by the hormonal pc pills I'm on). I don't know what to do .

You would not believe how many times throughout my life I've been asked mockingly how I can manage to get such good grades when I can't follow the simple instructions they were giving me! As in I seem too stupid to be able to do well in school! Or they thought since I was smart, I must have been acting like that on purpose.

. You have my fullest sympathy. Hang on in there if you can.

Except for the part where I couldn't reliably good grades, this happened to me far too often as well. Really frustrating, isn't it?

So relevant to this thread topic:

Today is the first, which is to say the day I receive my monthly benefits from the state. I get them via EBT, which I cannot actually use at every local location because of public paranoia that recipients of these benefits are buying cigarettes and alcohol. So on the first, I transfer the money to my debit card so I can pay for various things like netflix streaming and shop at any local store (Costco, for example, won't take EBT cash - just SNAP/food stamps).

Usually, my stepfather, mother, one of my nieces, and I go, as it's a 15-20 minute drive to where I can do what I need to do and buy some of the things I need to buy for the month. Anyway, today, one of my other nieces invites herself along, after the niece who usually goes gives me a last-minute itinerary that adds 2-3 more stores to the trip. What this means is that I'd be crowded in the back seat, and today my skin is sensitive enough that wearing clothes feels like mild sandpaper on said skin. So being crowded would be pure torture. So I say "Go without me, I'll do it tomorrow." And the usual niece flips out at me, like I have no right to not want to be crowded, and lies about what I said (she said that I said I didn't want to go because of the other niece - but it could have been anyone, I just can't cope with being crowded) and yells something at me about gas money on her way out the door.

I am old enough I shouldn't be stuck dealing with teenage drama, and it shouldn't be controversial that I have bad days where I can barely cope with what I expect to do (especially since this would involve going to a crowded store after being in a tightly crowded car and coping with holiday crowds).

Ugh, I'm tired of people. Why can't I just live alone?