Do We Appear Too Close To Normal

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Upon those first glances, pretty much, yeah.

Said disorder is close enough to something like Down's Syndrome in severity (common disabled presentation), but since those with Down's Syndrome also look different to everyone else, there's no mental disconnect from others in regards to the external and internal when they view you, and the expectations they innately hold based on you looking like everyone else.

I don't know which "way" is better.

+1 to Verdandi's post.

Ok in response Mr Xxxxx by DD I mean developmentally delayed and yes they did give up on this kid after three months but to listen to them talk about the guy it was more like he was there friend. one guy says that he would drive him around in his car and take him places with him and it seemed more understanding then with me after being there for only two weeks I became pretty much ignored. It just seem they where more patience and understanding of the guy who was more disabled.

League girl I get that but do you ever find that when you do not tell people about your aspies that eventually notice that something is a little different about you? They do with me and so the first time we talk or shortly after we get to know each other a little, I usually open up tell them a little about it because most of the time they seem to notice anyway. When I do not they seem to leave quicker I do not know why this is the way it is but I guess it because they think that I just some weirdo otherwise


CommanderAspie613 I can understand this even though I am not a kid anymore it happens to me in the adult world all the time. People will expect certain things from me that are just not there and when I tell them I cannot give it to them because of my disability they think I am just making excuses. I guess what I am saying is your probably going to find this in the adult world as well because we are different and we have to live by a different set of rules that other people do.

DemonAbyss10 I can understand this theory I often felt a lot like data off Star Trek TNG trying so hard to understand humans and there ways. Wanting so much to understand them and have the relationships that they all seem to have so easily. I wish I could know what it is like to be a part of there world and see the parts of me that keeps me from that
I would also agree that there seems to be a stigmatism more toward aspergers and autism then probably with other DD diagnoses like downs sydrome or being mentally slow. I think people who may show a lot love patience and to someone who is slow and mentally slow would not be so understanding of aspie like me. I do not know why this is harder for people then for them with other types of disabilities.

Ai Ling Most people are surprised when I tell them about my disability but yet any who stick around for a little bit seem to be able to see something different even if they put there finger on what it is. I know watched this happen over and over again when I have laid off telling people about my aspies.

People treat me one way when they first meet me, or when they don't really know me very well. If they find out what I'm really like they act surprised and they start treating me different. One guy told me, wow I thought you really had it together. Well I try so hard to come off that way to people, like I'm okay, everything is fine. But it makes it that much worse when people get to know the real me. They already built up some kind of expectation of me that I can't possibly live up to.

People size each other up very fast and make a lot of assumptions. It can be the same way with physical problems, sometimes those are not visible either. They think if you look okay, you are okay.

That is why I live in the fashion of "Just keep the crazy visible." I don't need to hide behind the f*****g facade we all call normality. Both ways have caused me problems, and me just being my crazy, f****d up self with not much regard or care for social rules has actually caused less problems than me forcing myself to look and act like one of those normal sheeples.

So in other words just embrace the self. Stop giving a damn about what society thinks, because society itself is what is truly f****d up, not yourself. Need me to point out why society is more screwed up for ya?

I think this is the crux of my problem more then being disabled in its' self. The illusion of normalcy that comes with some aspies can be quite a surprise to people when buried just a little below the facade of normalcy is apsies and all the problems that come with it. Then when people see this they think that we are trying to make excuses for our behavior. The way that I have learned to look at my aspies over the years is that I am human with some parts of the human programing missing. So like maybe I do not need to be told to shower before leaving the house on a daily basis but keep up with things like laundry and tiding up around the house so it does not get messy is almost impossible for me to do on any long term basis. I at times can appear very charming and funny when people first meet me but am unable to sustain it over the long term in a relationship.
I remember once hearing this one aspie woman interviewed and she would say that when she would go to parties and social events she would go in do her brief appearance and say her little sepals and get out because she learned over the years even before she got the diagnoses that there where things missing in social make up.

That's great if it works for you but I would not be able to keep a job or otherwise survive if I did that.

Ive kept a job and survived. Plus it has helped me form more meaningful relationships with others Due to the fact that the people who do want to be friends are doing it because they know the real me, not the people-pleasing social-butterfly twit society says you have to be. Its caused some friction at jobs of course, but less stress over the long run because I don't have to focus all my energy on putting up a f*****g facade. Its even worse for me because I can't multitask at all due to how I am mentally. (not counting walking and chewing gum at same time. I am talking bout the usual NT-driven definition of it.)

In fact it has led me to say a lot of things people wish they had the balls to say and get away with it.

Okay, that makes sense from your perspective. I get how you are being made to feel this way. But actions speak louder than words to me. Sounds to me like they are full of positive stories about the other kid, but the bottom line is they could not handle him, and sent him packing.

To put it bluntly, I think for them to talk like that after what they did makes them full of s**t. I suspect they only talk the way they do about him to make themselves feel better. All that positive talk at this point sure as hell isn't helping that kid.

But then we've also only got one side of the story.

Good for you. Just because it works for you doesn't mean it will be the same way for me or anyone else. Don't tell me how to live my life.

Wow, you have to be nasty about it. I wasn't telling you that you HAVE to live that way. Meant it more or less as in it may be worth looking into.

I am not being nasty to you. Please let it go already! You are disturbing me.

My external symptoms are pretty damn noticeable. If people don't see if it's their own problem. I'm not changing because I don't like panic attacks.

I think I'm with DemonAbyss on this one. You put so much energy in appearing normal when you have real issues and need the support of people they won't believe you. I was mortified when my sister didn't think I could even have Asperger's (I'm HFA and not very high functioning at that). And the only way I've overcome my anxiety was 1) Don't take anxiety inducing medication when I go out; 2)Embrace my autism, the person I am when I'm alone. Yeah, people look at me weird but they mean nothing to me. They're just good looking and like to stare and I might not ever see them again or more accurately: I'll forget about them.

I've basically used my autism to help me cope in the city. Three weeks of crippling anxiety and all I had to do was remember who I am.
I'm even getting back into routine and order, something city folk are lacking in.

I think people notice my external symptoms, they just don't know what they mean. Just about anyone who knows me says, "Oh, that makes sense" when I tell them I'm autistic.

I don't really try to hide anything, although sometimes I think I am less obvious than other times. Trying to hide stuff is stressful and anxiety-inducing and caused me serious trouble in the past. I also find it very difficult to not do some things (like stimming) because I either have to devote too much attention to it, or I focus on something else and forget about it. Might as well just let it go.

Autism is a spectrum... You can have a few autistic traits without having "enough" to reach the point where you're considered having Asperger's syndrome or be full-blown autistic.