Naivety and being on the spectrum

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It took me a long time to understand this too. I never wanted to believe that people could be deliberately mean. I would just tell myself it was a misunderstanding.

I was very naive as a child. I got taken advantage of and got used over and over again. I didn't know until I was an adult that people just say things "to be nice" and they will give out fake compliments or ask fake questions as a way to criticize you in a bad way or give out fake suggestions to criticize you in a bad way than giving out constructive criticism to help. I can't tell the difference unless it's a flame and they are calling me names and putting me down or making false assumptions or judging me. Other than that, I just assume it's all good criticism.

Now it seems like I can read between the lines now because I always think people could be really saying this or that or thinking this or that thanks to reading so much on Babycenter. But I fear I may be reading into things too much and being paranoid so I give everything a benefit of a doubt.

Yeah, I was very naive as a kid too and often taken advantage of by peers. It comes from the fact, I guess, that I took a lot what was said and done literally without detecting of the nuances and I was myself unable to lie very well. Later in life I went from naive to not trusting anyone, as way of compensation I guess. I also came to believe that a lot of people are simply mean.

I guess I'm stuck being like this too. I rarely assume about anyone that they are mean. It's very hard for me to do so. Well, there are obvious jerks whom you can spot pretty soon, though. My friend pointed it out many times that I assume too much good about people too often...

"Everyone would treat others as they want to be treated." - I always thought violation of this rule is called "applying double standard", unfortunately I've met with it frequently in my (adult) life.

I don't think I was naive as a child if that's to mean that I thought what others say matters in any way. So automatically I didn't assume that others told the truth either.

I remember very clearly that in third grade or so a fellow student didn't have her (new) fountain pen with her. She asked everybody in class to borrow theirs and when she asked me and the teacher tried to get to answer me, I said "no". I didn't use my new fountain pen at moment and unfortunately it was in plain sight so the teacher eventually insisted I give it to her, took it from me (I tried getting it back and then tried stabbing her with my pencil for stealing my stuff if I remember that correctly) and off that stupid girl went with my new fountain pen.

She set a record of breaking my stuff when only a couple of moments later, some of the kids yelled about her having broken it.

I insisted she'd pay it even though the girl and the teacher and later even half of the kids in class told me it was an accident. They went on and on about how it happened and why it could have only been an accident... whatever.

Nothing could convince me because my parents had told me to be "careful with it" because "it costs money" and the girl had obviously not been careful with it, because even at age 8 I was dead sure that there simply was no way that curiously smashing a pen onto a table for no reason could be considered "careful" handling and "an accident".

Needless to say, nobody broke my stuff again in elementary school because that pen really was expensive and she/her parents paid me a new one in a matter of days.

I think it's a lack of guile, or "killer instinct" as some people put it. IOW, not being quick, skillful, or predisposed to exploiting others (and knowing how to get away with it). It's another failure of theory of mind across different mindsets that leads to not realizing how mean people can be.

I saw a satirical article on "NT Syndrome" and the "Sally and Ann test." It said that if a child shows that he/she knows that "Ann" will look in the wrong basket, the child is described as having a "splinter" or "savant" skill for recognizing opportunities for deception.

I am the same way. I suck at corporate backstabbing...

Me too. Although I've been told I'm good at front-stabbing because I tend to call stupid or BS the moment I see it. I've had to learn to filter at work because I hurt people's feelings. I still find it hard to give honest feedback at work and try to avoid it when possible.

I'm not sure I understand what you're saying here. Are you suggesting that it is generally possible to overcome autistic cognitive limitations with logical deduction, or are you saying that you recognized by logical deduction a particular thing?

I don't think what Tuttle said is complex, although I think sometimes explaining cognitive limitations can become complex, especially when trying to cover the various ways other people tend to misunderstand what's being said. Even though I think I have a better grasp of the idea of people lying to me than Tuttle does, I know there are things I do not understand, but trying to explain how and why I don't understand something that I really don't understand can tie me up in verbal or written knots, and end up sounding far more complex. But since it's hard to get people to take "I don't understand this thing you deal with routinely and take for granted" at face value, the increasingly complex explanations sometimes seem necessary to even have a chance at understanding.

At least, that's how I approach things. I don't know if that applies to Tuttle. I do know that I've seen a lot of autistic people describe fairly simple concepts in fairly complex ways, and I know in my case I do it because the simplest explanations are rarely understood.

I'm naive for like 5 minutes with meeting someone, then I'm severely cynical.

I'm very unworldly and naive and I want to help everybody out and be friends with them. I'm trying hard to read between the lines.

I wish things would go back to being graded for if you are good at your job rather than who you know and how you socially get to the top.

It seems to be worse.

I've met at least three "naive aspie" girls: they are now 20, 21 and 24.

It's not like they are naive in that they are overly trusting of people, but they are just innocent in ways that I would not expect a person that age to be. For example, they don't seem to have much general knowledge about different things or the world, will come to realizations about life that a child might have figured out, will get excited about things with the enthusiasm you'd expect from someone younger (such as holidays) and are obsessed with the idea of romantic love/crushes/etc like a teen would.

Ok maybe I am a bit naive but f*ck it, that means I still think friends should f*cking help each other out......................I am so sick of living in a society that is all about being an individual to the point where you don't care about anyone else. I mean hell I am technically associated with a 'gang' now cause I'm chill with juggalos......sorry if none of you like them but they don't screw me over and their fun to talk to so screw it but it does bother me a bit that the freaking FBI considers me associated with a gang for it.

anyways though life sucks, make what you can of it and live life I guess.

I'm not "too trusting in the good nature of people", but I am trusting in people if there is no better choice. (I.e., distrust tends to undermine cooperation which is a bad thing in forced group situations like team-based project classes.)

If anything, I'm a bit cynical and I think that most people do things out of their self interest. However, many people are nice and ethical so I don't expect most people will knowingly hurt someone else if they're pursuing their self interests, only some people. Now, if money is on the table, all bets are off!

I'm 25 and I've found there's still a lot I don't know. I see men around my age buying fresh produce and I haven't got a clue how to do it. I'm sure they can go to the bank on their own too. I feel weird calling them 'men.' They are boys and I'm just a girl.

I get excited about birthdays and Kinder surprises or if someone just buys me a present, like a little child would. People say I'm 'cute' a lot and I wonder if they think I'm as innocent as I appear to be.

I'm not sure about love/romance. That's when I become cynical especially about 20 something dating. It's just a damn game to see how many people you can screw and then a few weeks later you're doing it all over again. I'd rather just meet someone and get married, though I don't even want to do that.