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Whosinabunker
Toucan
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Joined: 19 Jun 2011
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Posts: 255

06 Dec 2011, 11:13 am

I have friends (about 5-6 ish close friends) but they are from my elementary school days and when I moved away all of my social skills died. I don't have friends nowadays beyond the occasional acquaintance because I don't talk to anybody, I don't have anything to say to anyone so I don't. I refuse to submit to completely pointless small talk...unless it's with those aforementioned friends...weird how that works. I'm not necessarily bothers by a lack of friends, I'm more bothered by a lack of close relationships (girlfriend, boyfriend, etc.) and that's because I also suck at approaching someone and starting a conversation -_-



bumble
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Joined: 26 Mar 2011
Age: 49
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06 Dec 2011, 1:26 pm

I have an unusual way of seeing the world and I tend to march to the beat of my own drummer rather than conform. I do not judge people or things on the same standards as everyone else seems to (ie just because someone is homeless or unemployed or mentally ill or disabled etc I do not see them as useless or worthless in the way that many others seem to :(. I also do not see mistakes or failure as something to be feared but as more of a learning curve etc) I am also very shy but people misinterpret that as my being stuck up or stand offish when that is not the case at all.

I can also find it difficult to read if people want to be my friend sometimes lol, so even if people do approach me to chat, I do not know why they are talking to me and miss my opportunity whilst I try and figure it out! I can have trouble with starting conversations and keeping conversations going as well.

I have also lost heart when it comes to socialising due to past bullying, but I am slowly starting to heal. The result is that I don't go out much at the moment but I am working on that as I really do need to get out of the house for a while!

I am planning a day trip to some local museums...it might be fun, as I always did like those kinds of places.

One day I might make friends lol.



aureolin
Hummingbird
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Joined: 1 Nov 2011
Age: 32
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Posts: 22

06 Dec 2011, 1:35 pm

I don't leave my apartment unless it's to go to class or buy food, and even then I rarely talk to anyone. When I was in the middle of my first semester of high school, this really outgoing girl from my PE class dragged me into her group of friends to sit with at lunch, and after she left for a new group a few months later, I'd already become familiar enough to stick around. That was pretty much the only time I had friends. I usually don't socialize unless I'm forced to or I'm already used to being around a particular person or group of people.



dianthus
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Joined: 25 Nov 2011
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06 Dec 2011, 4:56 pm

I can make friends pretty easily but can't keep them. Because of that I've stopped trying to make any.

I realized a few years ago I didn't really want friends that much. I'm glad if I find someone I really click with, but it's rare, kind of a serendipitous happening and I don't go looking for it anymore. If I don't feel a natural sense of ease with someone, I don't bother. It's too much work and puts a serious strain on me.



fraac
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Joined: 23 Mar 2011
Age: 46
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Posts: 1,865

06 Dec 2011, 5:20 pm

I don't understand places. There are people I could call and say 'come out for a drink' and I'm fairly confident they'd find me awesome but the process between that and being in a place talking and drinking and establishing something is very confusing to me.



Trainbuff
Sea Gull
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Joined: 12 Feb 2011
Age: 33
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Posts: 247
Location: New York City

06 Dec 2011, 5:57 pm

My social skills are too awkward, mainly do to the fact that my voice makes me sound like and gives NTs the impression that I'm the R word.

Also, I don't really have much in common with my peers other than Sports & Music.

But to be honest, I enjoy being a loaner, so not having friends is not really a issue for me, most times. Sometimes I do get well.... lonely but most times I'm fine when it comes to that. :)



Cash__
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Joined: 6 Nov 2010
Age: 55
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Posts: 1,390
Location: Missouri

06 Dec 2011, 9:28 pm

Other people just find me too darn weird.



Arisa
Snowy Owl
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Joined: 10 May 2011
Age: 30
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Posts: 172
Location: Joisey

06 Dec 2011, 9:30 pm

I can make friends, but only with nerds. Nerds have been pretty chill people in my experience, save for one self-righteous dude.



SylviaLynn
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Joined: 9 Feb 2008
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Location: Albuquerque, NM

06 Dec 2011, 9:42 pm

Nothing wrong with nerds. I haven't been getting out much lately, but generally I make friends by talking to people who are doing the kinds of things I like doing. It's easy enough on the artsy stuff, but people's eyes glaze over on the more esoteric stuff. Either that or they go fluff bunny on me. There are a few people on WP who would be fun to talk to.


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Ai_Ling
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06 Dec 2011, 10:21 pm

Making friends has always been hard and I've always had hard. I dont make friends very well because I can't naturally communicate with people and I dont understand the flow of communication. I'm horrible at social networking, intiating conversation and knowing when to talk to people. Theres something about me and flow, timing that trips me up A LOT. I know how to talk to people, I just dont know when.



Catamount
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06 Dec 2011, 10:33 pm

I don't know if it's lack of desire or lack of ability ... perhaps a little of both. What I do know is that I really don't mind not having friends (other than my wife) and I really make no efforts to seek them out. My life is just fine the way it is. I get along with the people I work with as well as my neighbors and don't even mind an occasional social outing with my wife's friends. But the entire concept of friendship is really outside the realm of logic to me. If you don't share a common goal or common interest, there really seems to be no reason to interact.



glider18
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Joined: 8 Nov 2008
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Posts: 8,062
Location: USA

06 Dec 2011, 10:39 pm

I had a best friend from Kindergarten up until high school. During college he moved away and now lives hundreds of miles from me. However, when we see each other (usually because of a funeral or something), it feels very natural to talk to him. We were more like brothers. Today however, I really have no friends in the general sense. That's actually the way I prefer it. I have my family and interests and that is enough. When I have free time I prefer to be with my family or wrap myself up in my interests. I have no desire to do the friends stuff. My lack of wanting friends is probably why I don't have friends today. And I like it that way.


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