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Mel
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14 Feb 2005, 8:02 pm

I've seen that one before I knew I had AS too (when looking for a site for people with AS family members) and I never posted because I found it offensive.

The bitterness on there made me sad


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TAFKASH
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14 Feb 2005, 8:19 pm

Where can I post about the immense and lasting trauma my NT mother caused me by her inappropriate and completely insensitive attempts to force similarly NT behaviour on me as a child? :evil: Grrrrrrrrrrr.......


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Mel
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14 Feb 2005, 8:27 pm

TAFKASH wrote:
Where can I post about the immense and lasting trauma my NT mother caused me by her inappropriate and completely insensitive attempts to force similarly NT behaviour on me as a child? :evil: Grrrrrrrrrrr.......


Here- just so long as you don't claim all NT parents are like that- then we would be just as bad as them :lol:


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TAFKASH
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14 Feb 2005, 8:33 pm

Mel wrote:
TAFKASH wrote:
Where can I post about the immense and lasting trauma my NT mother caused me by her inappropriate and completely insensitive attempts to force similarly NT behaviour on me as a child? :evil: Grrrrrrrrrrr.......


Here- just so long as you don't claim all NT parents are like that- then we would be just as bad as them :lol:


Awwwwww..... but I like baseless, sweeping generalisations so much..... no fair!! !! :cry:


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chamoisee
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14 Feb 2005, 8:40 pm

That site bothered me so much that I was unable to sleep well last night. I am pretty danged sure that my dad is aspie, and he raised my sister and I for 7-8 years as a single dad. Yeah, he was strange (me,t oo, we embarrassed each other), but he aslo imparted a perspective that an NT parent could not have, and gave me many other gifts that were distinct to him.

I will have to think/brod on this soem more to come up with somethign coherent to say.....:-(



Mel
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14 Feb 2005, 8:48 pm

chamoisee wrote:
That site bothered me so much that I was unable to sleep well last night. I am pretty danged sure that my dad is aspie, and he raised my sister and I for 7-8 years as a single dad. Yeah, he was strange (me,t oo, we embarrassed each other), but he aslo imparted a perspective that an NT parent could not have, and gave me many other gifts that were distinct to him.

I will have to think/brod on this soem more to come up with somethign coherent to say.....:-(


I think that site has upset a lot of us- but remember they are a very small minority. Don't let it get too you too much- I know as a parent its hard to read that kind of thing when you know you are a good parent.

I hope you are feeling better about it soon :)


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Epimonandas
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14 Feb 2005, 10:22 pm

TAFKASH wrote:
Where can I post about the immense and lasting trauma my NT mother caused me by her inappropriate and completely insensitive attempts to force similarly NT behaviour on me as a child? :evil: Grrrrrrrrrrr.......


We could start our own thread. I had some horrible faculty in school that still has an impact on me today. I would love to see them burning in Hades. (bring some popcorn)



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14 Feb 2005, 10:25 pm

Bec wrote:
If anyone watns to see another annoying anti-AS website go to forums.delphiforums.com/ASPartners/messages/?start. It is mainly a forum where ticked off and bitter wives/girlfriends go to rant about their AS husbands/boyfriends. They say pretty offensive things about people with AS. It says that we are cold, narcissistic, abusive, incapable of love, and unwilling to change. They say that all Aspies should wear a t-shirt with this warning: Warning: association with this person can cause permanent and severe damage! :evil:


Really. Its a shame there are not more ladies as understanding as you are around here...(Do they really do that? Now I wonder if any of my past relations ever did that. Something now to mull about and keep up at night, crap, I hate finding new depressing tidbits, but I will probably forget it about shortly too, so none too the worse for wear.)



ed
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15 Feb 2005, 6:37 pm

A quote from the "about" section of their website:

"ASpar does not claim that AS people should automatically be deprived of their children in custody cases. We believe in a case-by-case analysis."

This is really dangerous thinking. Such groups are ignored at our own peril.



Last edited by ed on 17 Feb 2005, 7:56 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Mel
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15 Feb 2005, 6:46 pm

ed wrote:
A quote from the "about" section of their website:

"ASpar does not claim that AS people should automatically be deprived of their children in custody cases. We believe in a case-by-case analysis.

This is really dangerous thinking. Such groups are ignored at our own peril.



Yes I agree- any suggestions what we can do it about it though???


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Epimonandas
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15 Feb 2005, 7:52 pm

How about emailing them asking if they will make any changes or offer other input in hopes of improvement? That is really about the only thing you can do, unless you can get some bad publicity for them.



thechadmaster
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17 Feb 2005, 5:36 pm

that site sux


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alex
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17 Feb 2005, 5:44 pm

Epimonandas wrote:
How about emailing them asking if they will make any changes or offer other input in hopes of improvement? That is really about the only thing you can do, unless you can get some bad publicity for them.


any publicity is good publicity


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anbuend
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19 Feb 2005, 1:13 pm

Mel wrote:
There is a difference between healthy venting and what this site seems to be doing.


Agreed. I was there before the site was advertised in such a negative way, and before they made rules about not allowing autistic people. Autistic people ourselves were being directly insulted in various ways (not just people talking about their parents), but if we said anything about it we were told we needed to understand it had to be a safe place for people to vent. They couldn't tell the difference between venting about one person and denigrating an entire kind of people. Also any time I talked about my father, they claimed that if I liked him so much then he must be really "high-functioning" as if that had anything to do with whether he was a good parent or not. Now they have taken their 'venting' and are trying to shape public policy based on it. This is one reason I think that mixing so-called 'safe space' type support groups with political activism is dangerous. They have a self-selecting sample of people who will feel negative about their parents (they used to claim that would change but they've made it so that it will only get more so) and who are not in any way encouraged not to slur all autistics, and they are now trying to affect things like custody decisions. This is a serious problem.



Tere
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19 Feb 2005, 1:17 pm

After visiting this site, I am very upset and concerned to say the least! :cry:



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19 Feb 2005, 1:17 pm

chamoisee wrote:
That site bothered me so much that I was unable to sleep well last night. I am pretty danged sure that my dad is aspie, and he raised my sister and I for 7-8 years as a single dad. Yeah, he was strange (me,t oo, we embarrassed each other), but he aslo imparted a perspective that an NT parent could not have, and gave me many other gifts that were distinct to him.


You (and others here) might be interested in:

http://cap.autistics.org/