do most tend to communicate well on here?

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Phone conversations can be awful. I can have them without sounding too bad, but it's much more stressful, because it takes so much more effort. I can neither see enough cues, as when I'm in person, nor communicate without having to worry about it, as when I type and post with others. My timing gets off when I'm on the phone, and the flow of the conversation feels very disjointed to me - worse than in person. When my girlfriend calls in the middle of the day, I'm so excited to hear from her - and so agitated because it's a phone conversation. I hate feeling anxious to get off the phone with someone I really want contact with because I love her.

I can be a lot more precise in written language because I have time to think about what I'm saying and get all the words right. But I find sometimes it's harder to get the point across that way, because most people (NTs I guess) don't understand precise language. On other forums I have found myself rewriting the same ideas over and over again in different phrasing, and no matter how many times I did it, people still didn't understand. It seems like most here get it the first time.

There is also a big difference in being wordy or concise. I see some people here more inclined to be wordy and some are more inclined to be concise. Maybe if you prefer one it is harder to understand the other. I like concise statements and sometimes I get tired when people overthink and overanalyze things.

Well, although I may stutter and/or have other issues with speaking in real life, I still find face to face conversations easier with people I know. There are a handful of people (acquaintances, friends, family members) I can actually enjoy having a conversation with.

Here on WP I have difficulties naturally due to having a language (and culture) as my first other than English. However, it's interesting that I find it easier to write about myself, my problems, and my ideas here than anywhere else. I simply don't like participating on native message boards and blogs. They are too gross for my taste.

I noticed a tendency that in written form I can express myself better at more complex ideas here than in real life, but in real life the feedback-loop from the conversational partner is a lot stronger and it can be a huge help in understanding each other's viewpoint and intentions. However, it can be much more difficult to handle and draining, too.

As for phone calls, I've become much more at ease handling them during the decades. In my teens I had difficulties even with the simplest phone calls, like scheduling an appointment or simply greeting somebody due to anxiety and stuttering.

I tend to use Internet to communicate with others, because it's just more comfortable way for me. I don't particularly enjoy social meetings and try to avoid them. On the other side, I work as programmer and I don't have any problems with my IT-coworkers. They're sometimes annoying with their social activities, but I can handle it.

Written communication is easier, but it is still difficult. I can write sometimes like tonight, but there are many times I cannot even write. Though I can connect with a lot which is written here, but I often "mute", also in writing. When you are diagnosed with autism, you don't get diagnosed with "mutism" too, but that's what I have got too, in talking and writing. Also in writing I can only function once in a while.

That does make a difference for me. The other major factor, though, is what I'm trying to get across to the other person. Some things I want to say are casual, so face-to-face is easier. Some things are really emotional. Same thing. But some things are more technical, and I'd get lost more easily in speaking. Then I need writing so I don't get muddled. That's mostly the nature of my posts here. They seem more technical, more explanatory, more in-depth intellectually. I like to speak of such things, so casual conversation is not my main interest. I can enjoy it, but if I try to discuss anything deeper, I'm usually disappointed. I think I need this writing space so I can be more satisfied. Being frustrated really makes it harder to compensate for my difficulties with things like conversational flow and reading the other person.

I like the conversations here. Nobody seems determined to misunderstand anyone just to pick a fight and perpetuate it. I've seen that happen elsewhere, and I have no tolerance for the drama!

lol same. i dont think we are here to spend a big chunk of time on bollox. sorry if ball bags offend any1 haha smilin at those that find this funny. there might be 1 or 2 :P
and can i just say thanks to every1 who replied!
and lol my english teacher said never start a sentance with and so and right back at u :P

Well, my teacher told us it's okay to use a conjunction that way as long as the sentence is complete without it. Adding that one word in that one place doesn't matter then. Maybe some people would disagree, but I hold to that explanation.

Writing is for communicating, not for providing opportunities to bash each other. If it's someone's area of interest, I really respect that. I admire the knowledge and skill of those who are really good with the rules. I just don't think we need to expect everyone to be alike. So, I'm not criticizing people who are picky about it. I've been annoyed when magazine editors have made really obvious errors, especially when they've made the same ones on a consistent basis. It's their job to get it right. I'm just saying I'm glad we're not all getting picky with each other around here. It's more fun and helps us all learn from each other better if we focus on each other's meaning, not spelling, punctuation, and grammar.

I find it hard on here.. That's probably why i've only got 100 posts in about a year. I'm very different to other autistic people, so i feel like i don't really fit in here either.

Really? I've felt like an outsider for so many years, not even knowing enough about Asperger's until recently to even suspect I had it, that I find it very sad that you still feel like you don't fit in, even here. I wish I knew what to say to help you feel better. I know so few people with Asperger's in person, and I've seen them so little, that I don't know if I would feel like I fit in if I were in a group of Aspies and other autistics in person. I only know I have a lot in common with people at Wrong Planet. But you say you're different from other autistic people. How are you different? Have you ever had a chance to tell anyone before? Do you feel like people listen to you enough? If you can find a way to make a post about it, I'll read it. I'd be happy to read it right here, in this thread. Also, if you post it somewhere other than in this thread, post in this thread to say where else to look for it. I'll try to find it. If you feel as though you're not able to post about it to say things the way you want to, I'll still think of you and know you're out there.

It's really hard when you feel like you don't fit in and others don't understand you. We all know what that's like around here. I care about how you feel. To me, you still belong!

Communicating in real life is not that hard for me. But I need time to recover. I guess I pick up social cues through knowledge and analyzation rather than just feel. So it takes energy.

completly agreed, I think most posts here show superficial thinking. Desapointing...

This is the only place where I can speak completely freely about what's on my mind, which helps with the flow of what I'm trying to say (without interference from that little voice saying, 'Don't offend. Don't appear to boast. Don't be too familiar. Don't ask too many questions. Make eye contact, not too much. Don't stare. Stop going on and on.') But, I can speak well, although I can't find certain words a lot of the time and I sometimes take a while to process what other people are saying. So, I can appear to daydream or to be disinterested. This doesn't happen on here, as I can take as long as I need. I also have a large vocabulary and I can access it well on line, but not so much in real life, except when I'm really comfortable with someone (i.e. husband and parents). I probably appear more of an intellectual on line and not so much of a scatter-brain.

But, sometimes I don't think I hit the mark. In my mind, my post relates to the OP's post, but others are perhaps thinking, 'Random?'. Or I go off at a tangent, or rely on examples from my own life to illustrate a point, which seems unusual (or perhaps annoying) on line and in real life. I think this is why I feel like a bit of an outsider even here, but I've read posts from many others who say they feel that way too, even regular posters, like me.

Here's one of those examples coming up (stop reading now if you hate when I do this): I use another website and, just as in real life, I'm constantly having to edit my words. Just a few days ago, I replied to someone who was concerned about her son's health and alarm bells were ringing in my head about childhood diabetes. I advised her to seek advice quickly, but I felt I was watching what I was saying in case someone replied and told me not to be a scaremonger.

I doubt that would happen on here. People choose to accept or decline advice, without any drama, on WP.

Fifth it.

This is a really good way of articulating it.

Yes, it is. It's somewhat easier here because I can take my time and such. It is also more difficult because even though I'm not all that great at picking up on the 70% of communication that is nonverbal it is still there. It's easier here because I've isolated so much over the last couple of years or so that communicating in any form has become difficult. It takes effort to get past it, but I'm trying. And no, I don't always think I'm understood but what else is new?