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lilbuddah
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18 Dec 2011, 2:59 pm

Problem is that WP is a support site, people gather here to discuss AS or perhaps try and find some social "norm" which usually consists of seeing how many people here actually have AS(people in large groups are idiots) And seeming as there is a potentially infinite number of new members it's a problem we're just going to have to live with. I've been around a few forums and threads trying to change the community like this have never worked. Sad but true.



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18 Dec 2011, 3:08 pm

lilbuddah wrote:
Problem is that WP is a support site, people gather here to discuss AS or perhaps try and find some social "norm" which usually consists of seeing how many people here actually have AS(people in large groups are idiots) And seeming as there is a potentially infinite number of new members it's a problem we're just going to have to live with. I've been around a few forums and threads trying to change the community like this have never worked. Sad but true.


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18 Dec 2011, 5:10 pm

It's not so unusual that people who have never found anywhere they fit before will explore the first place they do fit. If that makes sense.

For me, I ask questions because DSM-IV lists are dry and hard to understand if taken literally. I need to know all the permutations of stimming because my DD doesn't stim in any obvious way but I'll eat the DSM if she's not on the spectrum or something close. She and I both have our oddities so where do they fit in this spectrum if they do at all?

I don't think there is anything wrong with being mildly annoyed however.


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19 Dec 2011, 5:25 am

SylviaLynn wrote:
It's not so unusual that people who have never found anywhere they fit before will explore the first place they do fit. If that makes sense.

For me, I ask questions because DSM-IV lists are dry and hard to understand if taken literally. I need to know all the permutations of stimming because my DD doesn't stim in any obvious way but I'll eat the DSM if she's not on the spectrum or something close. She and I both have our oddities so where do they fit in this spectrum if they do at all?

I don't think there is anything wrong with being mildly annoyed however.


Why be annoyed at all?

Are we annoyed at people because they're not acting in what we consider a "socially appropriate" manner for our online community? Unless folks are deliberately being as obnoxious as possible, it's pretty easy to ignore/skim posts you find uninteresting or redundant. Personally, I've been involved in many, many message boards on topics A through Z, and one thing I've learned is that people aren't born knowing how to use a "search" function. It takes time for "noobs" to acclimate and figure out what's what.

What I find strange is if some goofus wants to spew self-indulgent, whiny, misogynistic bullplop, we're not supposed to criticize because s/he might be "depressed," but it's apparently perfectly cool to jump on someone for the crime of being "new." I don't think I'm ever going to get the "logic" behind these twisted social rituals.


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19 Dec 2011, 5:52 am

lilbuddah wrote:
Problem is that WP is a support site, people gather here to discuss AS .


Not that anyone particularly cares but WP is a discussion forum for people with ASD and/or their parent/s. Everyone knows that AS is just an old fashioned and unscientific label for the higher end of the ASD spectrum.

Continuing to use terms like "AS" is like calling the USA "New England".



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19 Dec 2011, 6:35 am

XFilesGeek wrote:
What I find strange is if some goofus wants to spew self-indulgent, whiny, misogynistic bullplop, we're not supposed to criticize because s/he might be "depressed," but it's apparently perfectly cool to jump on someone for the crime of being "new." I don't think I'm ever going to get the "logic" behind these twisted social rituals.


Wait, what? Am I doing it backwards then?

I do think there's a point to a thread like this or like Callista's thread. It helps for people to see what is frequently discuss and maybe look up those older threads. A lot of things will be repeated, however, but that's tolerable.

Also, I admit I don't really like to read/respond to "Do these traits make me look Aspie?" threads, but I don't mind "can anyone relate to this?" threads. It's pretty variable when it comes to "Is this an autistic trait?" threads because the answer is often "yes" and often "no," but some posters react as if the answer is and should always be "no," which can lead to disinformation or arguing over research that discusses these traits.

cyberdad wrote:
Not that anyone particularly cares but WP is a discussion forum for people with ASD and/or their parent/s. Everyone knows that AS is just an old fashioned and unscientific label for the higher end of the ASD spectrum.

Continuing to use terms like "AS" is like calling the USA "New England".


^^^^^

I did say earlier today that I actually gave up on mentioning this point, but it is a valid point. People come here to discuss autistic spectrum disorders in general, which currently include five actual diagnoses (Autism, PDD-NOS, Asperger's Syndrome, Childhood Disintegrative Disorder, Rhett's Syndrome*). Many people who come here are diagnosed with autism or PDD-NOS (I don't recall seeing anyone say they were diagnosed with CDD or Rhett's), but most of the threads focus on talking about "Aspies" or "AS."

* Rhett's will no longer considered a PDD as of the DSM-V, and the others will be rolled up into a single diagnosis: Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD).



AlastorX
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19 Dec 2011, 7:27 am

Well, most people who come here are maybe a bit confused, they couldn't understand themselves for a long time, then they notice some hints which make them think they might have something on autistic spectrum.

Isn't these the place where you can ask someone to tell you something first hand. DSM and other such sources, they are written by NT's... so people have doubts if they don't fit this or that criteria. So it's not unusual that they ask. And if you say to new people, it's pointless to answer this, go read some literature and figure it out by yourself, it certainly diminishes purpose of forum. If older members find it annoying to answer same questions over and over again, they should just ignore it. There might be others who might find a thread interesting.

But one thing is certain, many people seem to think that the only dividing line between humans is ASD/NT which is not. Upbringing, culture, characters, inherited and acquired traits, also play major roles. It is impossible to find textbook cases, and there are differences. For example, I was never obsessed with batteries nor did I have one interest that would dominate my life... on the other hand, of someone has it, he isn't necessarily on autistic spectrum.



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19 Dec 2011, 7:30 am

This forum in general is basically as repetitive as watching Dave. But then, Aspies like repetitive routine, so there ya go :P



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19 Dec 2011, 8:21 am

AlastorX wrote:
But one thing is certain, many people seem to think that the only dividing line between humans is ASD/NT which is not. Upbringing, culture, characters, inherited and acquired traits, also play major roles. It is impossible to find textbook cases, and there are differences. For example, I was never obsessed with batteries nor did I have one interest that would dominate my life... on the other hand, of someone has it, he isn't necessarily on autistic spectrum.


I think this may be a case of reading too much into what a lot of people are saying, or missing everything that people are saying and being left with that as a conclusion, I don't know which.

I think quite a few of us are aware that there are many divisions among humans and one person can live in several of these intersections (not a literal intersection, but say being female, disabled, and poor - that's three right there). But since this is primarily an autistic forum, people focus on autism, which means a lot of contrasting with NTs.

Asp-Z wrote:
This forum in general is basically as repetitive as watching Dave. But then, Aspies like repetitive routine, so there ya go


Excellent point. :D



AlastorX
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19 Dec 2011, 8:57 am

Verdandi wrote:
AlastorX wrote:


I think this may be a case of reading too much into what a lot of people are saying, or missing everything that people are saying and being left with that as a conclusion, I don't know which.

I think quite a few of us are aware that there are many divisions among humans and one person can live in several of these intersections (not a literal intersection, but say being female, disabled, and poor - that's three right there). But since this is primarily an autistic forum, people focus on autism, which means a lot of contrasting with NTs.


As is often the case, I believe I didn't make myself clear. I meant on people who suspect they might have something on autistic spectrum so they are confused because they for example have imagination and they read somewhere that being an aspie means you lack one. Same counts for empathy, socializing and so on. That is why there are many questions like is this an aspie tratits, does this sound like asperger's and so on.
And, what I meant to say is not that people are unaware of other divisions, but that it is nothing unusual that aspies differ, contrary to what one might think after reading DSM (for example).

That is also the reason why I believe questions newcomers ask are not pointless. This is the great place to break the stereotypes and generalization and you can't best way to learn it is from other's experiences and not from books.

Hope I made myself more clear now.



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19 Dec 2011, 4:10 pm

Improved site management and strong leadership could prevent young males(and females) with unrestrained egos doing the multiple thread starts in a day thing, and many repeated topics of threads are started by regulars who should know better!

When I did the aspire support meetings at AutismNZ, I was suffocated and ran fast from yak yak yaking aspires who would not shut up or communicate in turns. That was not the true issue though, as the government paid facilitators need to step up and manage things in a better a more proactive manner

it comes down to laziness, poor parenting and letting the kids run amok



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19 Dec 2011, 4:17 pm

Surfman wrote:
Improved site management and strong leadership could prevent young males(and females) with unrestrained egos doing the multiple thread starts in a day thing, and many repeated topics of threads are started by regulars who should know better!

When I did the aspire support meetings at AutismNZ, I was suffocated and ran fast from yak yak yaking aspires who would not shut up or communicate in turns. That was not the true issue though, as the government paid facilitators need to step up and manage things in a better a more proactive manner

it comes down to laziness, poor parenting and letting the kids run amok


:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:


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19 Dec 2011, 7:44 pm

No two people on the spectrum are a like. Some of us are ruled by logic, some of us are ruled by obsessions, some of us are ruled by creativity, some of us are ruled by language and some of us are ruled by emotions. You are going to get an interesting mix of these five different elements and I hope these elements don't scare you away.


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19 Dec 2011, 8:12 pm

One thing about "Support Groups" than many people don't seem to realize is that any such social group isn't just about making a member feel comfortable, it is also about guiding its members to appropriate social behavior.

For instance, in my old Divorced & Separated support group, we had to almost constantly remind the newcomers (and sometimes each other) that obsessively focusing on our bad experiences and feelings of worthlessness was inappropriate for growth, and that using profanity when referring to our exes was simply not acceptable.



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19 Dec 2011, 8:49 pm

This seems like common practice in any aspect that isn't solely limited to noobs. People always ask "is your situation different than mine?", It's just trying to understand different perspectives. Small talk. Having said that I am a noob here but I belong to Idk how many social networking sites and forums for my various interests, but bickering about this concept in any forum or situation never even crossed my mind. It's a harmless question right?. I think if common inconveniences bother someone to this extent they might just spend too much time on the internet (coming from someone who spends over 60+ hrs on the internet). It's kinda like complaining about bubblegum on the ground, sure it's annoying but that's something that'll never change.

As far as the search function goes. I don't always want to type it in and filter through 7-8 pages of results to find what I'm looking for because the answers rarely pertain exactly to my needs. You'd think on a forum where a lot of people have trouble paying attention you guys would be more lenient. It feels like pulling teeth for me to look through an extra page if I don't have to, the words start running together and I start getting dizzy. It's usually easier to just start a new thread. I use the search box when I can but sometimes it makes me wanna bash my head into the desk and throw the monitor out the window.



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19 Dec 2011, 11:20 pm

Onyxaxe wrote:
As far as the search function goes. I don't always want to type it in and filter through 7-8 pages of results to find what I'm looking for because the answers rarely pertain exactly to my needs. You'd think on a forum where a lot of people have trouble paying attention you guys would be more lenient. It feels like pulling teeth for me to look through an extra page if I don't have to, the words start running together and I start getting dizzy. It's usually easier to just start a new thread. I use the search box when I can but sometimes it makes me wanna bash my head into the desk and throw the monitor out the window.


That.

I figure I'm repeating a lot of old stuff when I ask questions but that I'll be ignored by people who are bored by it. I also figure if I get bored or annoyed with this forum because of it's repetitiousness, I'll move on to another one. I guess I just thought that's what people did when they were on a site like this long term.

The other thing to consider, which I think has already been pointed out in this thread, is that even the same old subject can be discussed in a new way. Given how different we are, threads will vary based on who's participating and whether or not somebody's had new insights since the last time a thread was posted.

I've been helped a lot by responses to posts I've made, as well as threads I haven't started - or even posted in at all. I'm just glad people have cared enough to contribute so that other people and I could learn. I've been dismissed enough in life to really appreciate it when people give each other their time and consideration. I've found posts here to be very thoughtful and thought provoking.


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