This video is just disgraceful to the autistic community.

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Don't be stupid.


I don't think it's as simple as that.


The grief is all about the idea that their children won't be normal, and will be unable to succeed in areas that most NTs basically live for. It f***s with a persons whole notion of what it means to live a worthwhile life. Plus there's no real cure and no hope of one either. So that sense of 'defective' and 'hopeless' may be accurate, depending on the severity.

I disagree that the attitude will necessarily lead to abuse, though it can be a bit self-defeating.


Agreed.

i think you are missing the point of the video. these moms love their kids. the mom who thought about driving off a bridge was willing to give her own life to prevent a miserable school situation for her kid.

my mom once told me she wished she didn't have kids (three of whom are neurotypical). at first i was hurt. then she said she wished that because none of us were happy. i told her i was happy (i hadn't been happy earlier and had been very vocal about it).

face it. if you have kids, they are people who are going to have to face death. being a parent is never easy. parents of any kind of disabled kids have a high divorce rate. i know a fellow who has a malformed arm whose parents made him feel responsible for their divorce. a child with special needs or a parent with special needs (like an alcoholic) thows a family off balance. no one is saying autism is worse than other challenges. i wouldn't demonize these mothers for describing what their life is like.

the video is trying to drum up support for autism research. the moms ask for understanding that their kids aren't spoiled and having a tantrum when they have a meltdown. that's a good thing. expand your ToM to include how it feels to be a parent.

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Last edited by nat4200 on 19 Apr 2012, 5:40 am, edited 1 time in total.

Listen, The point that I am trying to get across to people, and especially after watching this, is that even IF your child has a learning disability, or has autism, or has whatever it may be, They should always be LOVED. Love knows no gender, no race, but shares one thing in common with all of us. We all have beating hearts. Hearing and seeing people talk like that about their children, when the child is present in the SAME ROOM, is just unGodly, and awful.

It truly breaks my heart having to hear such horrible things, because they are all said out of anger, stress, depression, etc. Especially when it's straight forward about a CHILD. An INNOCENT child....

What if you just don't like the kid? It happens.

You should just stop posting now. That's probably one of the most ignorant things I have ever heard in my life. If you don't know God, Then I suggest you find out about him. He's a great guy, and has helped my family in ways that I myself cannot even begin to describe to you. Have you no shame at all? Or were you just born that way?

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Last edited by nat4200 on 19 Apr 2012, 5:39 am, edited 1 time in total.

The video shows the level of frustration, stress and pressure that goes with caring for someone with severe disability. Maybe it would be more constuctive to attack the system and society as a whole for not providing PWD enough help and support instead of attacking parents.

Lol what does God have to do with anything.

Anyway I was just kidding.

I completely understand that they probably do love their children, but it's just the way that this video is presented, and the way they presented themselves. They are ONLY human, as we all are. I know that for some it's harder than that of others. And I also understand that this is for shock value, and in a way i'm sure it does make parents appreciate their children for what they are, it's just in the manner of how it was shown to the viewer. I am forever grateful for what I have, and what iv'e accomplished. And I hope everyone else can say the same.

It's a shame that whoever produced the video had to exploit those kids in order to do so. They never should have been on display while the parents talk about that kind of stuff.

What does God have to do with anything? Are you being serious right now?
God is the reason we are all here. God makes everyone different, and there's not a damned thing we can do about it. You have to have FAITH that GOD will help you with your troubles and burdens, and you pray to God that things will get better. Because they will. Sometimes he just has a funny way of doing it.

And i'm sorry, but kidding about something like this? Saying "Oh well, my child is learning disabled, I just wont like him". Yeah, That's NOT something to joke about, if you haven't noticed already.

It isn't stupid. It's the truth: If you have children, things go wrong. Sometimes they don't go wrong that badly and you only have to deal with a few injuries and illnesses. Sometimes you end up with a child who's disabled. It's not because god's out to get you. There was no "destiny" in place that disability ruined. It happens. If you can't cope with things not turning out as you hoped, you really shouldn't bother to have children. That's not going to stop anyone from having children, of course, but maybe there should be more work on preparing parents for the possibility that their children won't all turn out to be perfect little geniuses with a scholarship to Harvard.



I wasn't saying anything simple. The idea that not everyone is going to have a perfect life, but there's no reason to go out of one's way to make it worse seems strangely complex to a lot of people, including parents of autistic children.



That video shows it. You even called it out. Saying "I wanted to kill myself and my child" right in front of the child is abusive. Even though I didn't have a diagnosis as a child, I also lived it. My parents knew that something was going on or I never would have ended up in a special education classroom for one year, nor would I have almost gone to an "alternative" high school. I'm 42 now and my mother knows about my diagnoses, and she still tries to blame everything on me being lazy or my grandmother supposedly "coddling" me after I left home, as if the possibility that all that stuff she thinks I should be able to do is something I would be able to do easily if only I tried a little harder. Yes, I'm generalizing a bit from my own experiences, but I just do not see how a parent who does not view their child as fully human is going to treat that child as fully human.

And what that woman said about her daughter? There have been multiple instances of parents murdering their disabled children - not just autistic children, although several of them have been killed - and the murderers in question tend to receive the same kind of calls for sympathy that's getting posted in this thread - but I have no sympathy for that, and I never will. One's grief does not absolve one's responsibility as a parent. And the story about how this woman openly expressed her fantasy of driving off a bridge or whatever it was is heartbreaking. I feel terrible for her child having to hear that stated so bluntly. For her, though? She's being self-indulgent.



Regarding the divorce thing: At least with autism, the higher divorce rate is a myth.

I'm not demonizing them. I am simply not sympathetic to their plight. I find it very difficult to sympathize with parents who resent their children.

God doesn't exist, and it's interesting that you believe everything thinks it does. (If God is responsible for autism, what a douche).

Anyway, I wasn't talking about disliking someone for their disability. That wasn't the joke. I just meant in general. For example, you don't like me. What if you had a kid that was like me?

As I stated in a previous comment, if I had a learning disabled child, I would love it for everything that's it's worth. Even if it was like you. I don't blame God for making me this way. Fear and questioning in God is the beginning of wisdom. You may not believe in him, but I do, and I don't hold grudges. Obviously i'll be this way for awhile, so what's the point in being angry? Any who, i'm not here to argue about higher powers, i'm here to speak my mind.

I don't like how she is implying we're lesser beings. If she didn't have a normal child at home, she would have done it.

That is sending the message that we deserve to be killed and the killers should have sympathy.